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You know it's there, and it will come and bite a man's ass whenever and wherever. So be on guard. Bob's talking about that there female intuition thing. It happens all the time. A guy can't get away with shit.

It's just like at this wedding, when Bob was a young’un back in 1987.

When I finally entered the room, Tanya spotted me, and immediately
came up to me. 


“Where have you been?” she said, arching her eyebrows. “You were
gone awhile.”

“Oh, I just grabbed some air outside, and had a chat with Mitchell.”

“What were you talking about for so long?”

“His, uh…, relationship with Laurie and where it was going, or not.” I said.

“You know, their whole on-again, off-again saga with all that major work
and drama.”

“Aha.” She gave me that all-knowing female look. She knew that I’d been
talking 
about other matters and that likely it related to us. You could never
figure out how they do that.


So just accept it's there, and the sooner your sorry ass understands that, and learns to operate within that paradigm, then the better for your male happiness and well-being in a relationship.

 
Here are a couple pieces on trying to explain it all, How A Woman's Intuition Is The Most Powerful Force There Is and this second piece with Women's intuition is biological: Lower exposure to testosterone in the womb gives females an extra 'sense'.


Our PhD gal, Audrey Nelson, spouts a somewhat sober and serious spiel on it. 
 

She’s correct and clinical in her approach, but it’s a little too intellectual for we simple stupid fellas. So here’s straight up Derrick Jaxn weighing in and also mixing in the "It's about trust" angle, and how it should be for the ladies and their men.


Comedian Billy Sorrells has a good go on this as well. 
 

They even make songs on this. There are many out there. Here’s a throwback 1986 disco soul pop number, from the Dutch side of the pond, with our gals Mai Tai.


It should be noted that this wedding actually happened 30 years back on June 20—a friggin’ long time ago! They’re still together, and we had a good laugh on the phone about it. An early day strategic text message from this side "reminded" hubby bud of their milestone, and saved him some grief no doubt. 

What makes marriage “work” over time (beyond just a few years) was covered off in this prior post on Long-term marriage, but here’s a quick and easy clue to assist with sussin’ shit out.


In the long haul, a guy deffo needs a sense of humor, cuz your sorry ass is gonna take that intuition (and other multi-faceted) punishment coming your way ... every friggin' day!!!! Here’s Billy Sorrells again with a small example of this, and being on the receiving end.


Bob’s digging his defeated “Just let me live, okay” at the close.


If you don’t have enough humor going on in life, or needs an escape from such relationship situations, find solace in this read as our single, quasi-antihero Bob gallivants about hitting weddings worldwide, dodging marriage bullets and trying his best not to let those female powers have full control beyond the 99.9% of the time they already do. 



Subject: Montreal #12 - 80s hair and other things
(Posted on Apr 26, 2015 at 04:47PM ) Tags:
So your young, dumb ass is 21, having fun, and "best" man at some friend’s wedding in 1987. 

Hey, it HAD to be a great year, just because that’s when The Simpsons first came into being, as episodic shorts on The Tracey Ullman Show. And a game-changing tune (stitching together an impressive array of song samples), Pump Up The Volume by one-off UK outfit, M|A|R|R|S, broke out big.


Beyond music. the 80s had a lot of stuff going on, with memorable (if not always classy) developments in fashion, cars, entertainment, lifestyle, and culture.

And this is not factoring in all the serious (and arguably more important) geopolitical events and disasters that otherwise framed the decade (e.g. Iran-Iraq War, Falkands (Malvinas) WarBhopal, famine in Ethiopia, Space Shuttle ChallengerChernobyl, Ronnie Raygun and the other Star Wars, Black Monday, and fall of the Berlin Wall). 





This link lists several 80s websites to revisit that decade, or yield insight into what was going on if you weren’t yet around (or were way too young to remember).

One of the 80s things that stuck out, pardon the pun, was the hair. It was BIG!

And it wasn’t necessarily the preserve of the better, smarter sex either, as the guys also dove in eagerly. There were many ways to wear it, be it frizzy, sporting a mullet, Jheri curls, flattop, spikes, half-fro, or rattail.




 
Yo, they weren’t called "hair bands" for nothing, and having it bigger and better than your competition was de rigueur.


Which brings Bob back to the scene in the book on this very topic.

The trio of bridesmaids sported 80s’ signature big-hair, achieved with lots of layering,
mousse, and curling iron action, and finished off with heavy blasts of hairspray.

That didn’t come naturally after rolling casually out of bed in the morning, and it spawned a whole industry of products like colored mousse and Bold Hold hairspray to help meet demand.  

Here’s a montage of exemplary 80s hairstyles.


To compete with all this new energy up top, fashion had its own complementary evolution and flair as well.


Some folks went with a decidedly cleaner, minimalist look. Keeping it simple was another statement, as our Oirish singer explains here and her reasoning therein back in the day as she shot to fame. Think of all the time and €xpen$e saved as a bonus.


Imagine if all of us were like that … about everything,  from our clothes, to our food, be it by choice or not, as this 1985 ad toys with.
 

It’s one of Bob’s all-time advertising faves from that decade. Hey, it’s about food, ties to his Eastern bloc heritage, and good old days of the USSR and Iron Curtain. Plus, the ladies remind him of his grandmothers (or Babas).

There was a lot happening on that particular day at the wedding, but the hair still strikes a chord. Decades later, there's no desire to relive that youthful period though, apart from the memories, until Alzheimer's sets in, one gets hit by a bus, or abducted by aliens to make it all irrelevant.

Better to forge new experiences and attend more weddings around the world. As the ad may have foretold with its authoritative delivery and definitive accent, "Is next … rest of life. Very nice."



You go to a few weddings, and as a guy, you wonder why many bridesmaid dresses are so bad, be it the color, the style, or to maximize the effect, knocking off both angles simultaneously. Maybe it’s because the bride needs to ensure she outshines her posse, so she purposely goes out of her way to peg them down a notch or two in the fashion department. But at the end of the day, the bride can be partly judged by how well her girls are dressed as it's a reflection of her taste.

Here’s an attempt at an anatomical breakdown on how to do this right with a few choice suggestions. 


It could well be a true test of a bride's friendship with her gals. Maybe you match the dresses to the drapes, as noted here by yours truly at that 1987 Montreal wedding.

The interior was decorated in rich, soft colors, and the bridesmaids’ dresses were designed to match the room’s peach draperies—or was it vice versa?—per decree by Carole’s mother, Celine. I didn’t ask.

But then you take it to another level altogether beyond just a simple soft color and put some patterns to that curtain play.


Or sometimes, better yet, maybe you have the dresses made from actual drapery material.







There really are a lot of possibilities for getting that special look you covet as the bride for your tightknit troupe on the biggest day of your life. You can certainly just go BOLD with color to make an impact.





The vintage look can also have its appeal as well, amd is a little softer in its approach.




Then there’s that slightly sassy, cheeky look too for shits and giggles in a quick photo opp with your BFFs, even if the rest of your collective attire is otherwise just fine. 



Or maybe you need to fret and fuss for that "furry fringe" look to really take things to an absolutely friggin' fantabulous level. Some $hekel$ must have been spent to get this vibe just right.


A lot of the guys won’t be complaining about the boob overload look though. Breathe deeply for added effect.


In all fairness though, the discriminating fashion choices need not be exclusive to the female side of the equation. The fellas can also go out on a limb with their outfit tastes as well, but it usually doesn't seem to be as extreme as with the ladies, and can be quite subtle.







Then, there are those nuptials where the fashion faux pas equally straddle both sides of the gender divide and aisle, whether it's impromptu, "come as you are" casual, a painstakingly planned theme affair, or looking back in time a few decades for inspiration.







 
There's no need to write much, when the pictures show it way better. This single-guy wedding attendee hasn’t been blessed by any such fashion-forward events as seen here,so maybe he's really missed out on sumpin' in life. 

Bob just be laying out a few fashion options for your benefit and consideration on your big day so everyone looks their best. The possibilities are endless, if you really apply some imagination and creative energy to your wardrobe selections. One need not be limited by budget constraints to make a daring style statement, yet keep it classy. 

 



Subject: Montreal #12 - Hockey, Politics + Language
(Posted on May 7, 2014 at 04:11PM ) Tags:
Two things that haven't changed with my hometown since childhood, have been the city’s devoted following of les Habs / Canadiens (especially now that they're in the second round of the playoffs battling it out with the Beantown Bruins, another place I know well) and provincial level politics with its discussion / debate around Quebec's (potential) separation from the rest of Canuckistan. 

It was the case when I was a kid, and again at the time of the opening wedding of the novel back in 1987, and just as true today decades later. The talk of an independent Quebec may be quiet now for a couple years given the election outcome a month ago today, but it will be back again no doubt one day. It just sort of seems to take a break every now and again, to regroup and rear its head once more. But both topics can always be a good excuse for a sprited discussion at a wedding, or any other event for that matter

I might be out of Quebec a long time now, and cross-polinated (or polluted, if you prefer), by many other countries and cultures, but on the plus side, I can still get a fix of maple syrup, poutine, and a smoked meat sandwich as needed, but not necessarily all at the same time though (which you really won’t be getting at any wedding), and I certainly don’t miss winters out East in Montreal anymore either.

Then there’s one of my local flavor favorites on the humor side that has emerged in Têtes à claques (TaC), which has been around now since August 2006. It was all originally in French (still the best version by far if you can understand the language), but there are quite a few sketches that have been translated into English and Spanish too. However, for full effect,  one can’t beat the original ones for their authentic local Québecois accent, which bemuses many folks in France and other countries in the French-speaking world.

Here’s one TaC sketch in French with English subtitles, so those that don't speak the language can pick up on the local Quebec French accent and still follow along otherwise.



This cat Obsesik does a good job on breaking down the difference between how French speakers in Quebec and France sound like when speaking English.
 

And this gal Julie Supastar doles out a good basic primer on how to speak some of the more important local French words in Quebec, handy for any tourist or  Bruins visit  to Montreal and La Belle Province, be it for a wedding, hockey game, or otherwise. Just generally useful everyday French 101 stuff going on here. 


And as regards the outcome of the current Montreal – Boston NHL series, kinda just like with the fate of marriage longterm, as they say in Spanish, “vamos a ver lo que pasa,” or we’ll see what happens. I ain't got no crystal ball or nothing, since i'm just some single bozo bumpkin attending weddings all over the place. C'est beau, c'est bon. 

Subject: Montreal #12 - That Flintstones Scene
(Posted on Jan 16, 2014 at 09:42PM ) Tags:
Here's the skinny on that classic Flintstones scene referenced at the bar in Montreal after dinner when Bobby Bo goes for a refill of his glass of red wine and is talking to the bartender. 

The episode here was called "Love Letters on the Rocks" and comes from season 1, episode 21, and was first aired on Feb. 17, 1961.


Watch the scene unfold here as Fred goes to meet Perry Gunite, the P.I.


You just have to love those lines Perry had, "Rocks over rocks" and "Bartender ... put that in a dirty glass." This is real knowledge of the world stuff going down here, and they don't teach this wisdom in school, kids, so pay attention.

Perry's bowed-out-knees silky smooth stride to the bar is also killer stuff. Just gotta marvel at it, even if I can't quite make my own legs bend quite like that with such awesome curvature. No doubt, this kind of cool entrance to a crowded room is something to work on at home alone to make oneself a more complete and well-rounded human being.

This scene has scarred Bob since childhood.