funny wedding books novel amazon.com Wedding Chronicles Bob N. Boguslavski
Subject: Brands and altered reality
(Posted on Jun 12, 2016 at 01:21PM ) Tags:
Throughout the book, a bunch of brands and product placement references have been sprinkled about, but many are not spelled correctly. Bob does know how to spell, most of the time (depending on the language), and it's done on porpoise here for effect.

Here are a bunch of examples pulled from the novel:

- Kokee Kola

- Appfull and its iconic iPot device (it plays tunage people, and is not a vaporizer for weed)

- Totoya, the vehicle brand highly favored by insurgents, terrorists, freedom fighters and revolutionaries worldwide

- iFone, another product by our good friends and drinking buddies at Appfull




- McDonnell's, the best hangover food ever per some, and occasonally referred to as "Ralphin' Ronnie's" by others

Yes, it does really exist, per here. A discussion on this matter of their past "Don't be evil" mantra merits separate coverage another time.


- WinWoes 98, and an oblique mention of "the hegemony of Redmond"

- Fizper, a big pharma outfit, and one of its lesser known "vascular" products called CadavERect

- Ballihurton, an evil-ass, global, oil field services corporation

- Glumberscher, another global oil field services giant, where Bob's ass actually worked decades back for a couple years (hence not calling it evil-ass)

Many other brands do remain the same as we know them in this reality, mostly good things like booze (be it beer, wine, bubbly, sake, whisky vs whiskey, cigars, watches, and other items. At other times, Bob decided to keep an actual name in play for clarity, as with say AT&T, regarding a certain building in Manhattan, deemed to be a good sanctuary from marauding zombies, discussed here.

This altered reality also applies to the treatment of some purely fictional character mentions as well, for reasons of satire and parody.

- Dom Cruz, some actor cat celebrity

- Will Klintun, sage of Arkansas, former US President, and scholarly spinmeister regarding the meaning of the word "is"

- Rick Chany, evil-ass politician and businessman, who used to run above mentioned, evil-ass oil services corporation

- Nat Bukannan, a US paleocon political pundit

- Will O. Wiley, some imaginary Fox News talking head

- Anne Coalturd, following on the above folks in similar vein

- Lush Limbaw, radio talk show jock and political commentator

So what gives with all that? Hey, it's Bob's book, and the world he experiences is mostly like the one we know, but certain things have been altered.

It may have been presciently planned on his part, but there seems to be a tie-in to real changes similarly going on today right in front of our eyes. Many brands / products, media (e.g., books, movies, TV shows, music), titles, names, symbols, events and other references have all mysteriously seemingly subtly changed.


Look into something called the Mandela Effect and do some digging. No, you're not losing your mind and memory. But don't take Bob's word for it. A starter summary on the topic, if you're interested, and not asleep at the switch, is below. More on this forum here too.


As with all, do your own investigation and research to draw your own conclusions. What do you remember from your own experience?


If the Mandela Effect is a bit much for you to fathom or drives you bonkers, alternatively dive into this read for an escape from this reality (and all others) for shits and giggles, as some single cat travels the world attending weddings and gets into all kinds of situations and encounters.




On a great stag night two days before the wedding, Bob was out with groom Dudley Steele and another dozen buddies from England, Spain, the Netherlands and Germany in Puerto de la Cruz on Tenerife's north side. Rounds of warm-up beers were followed by dinner at an Indian restaurant, where "somebody" decided it might be interesting to see how much heat could be put out there in one dish.

When the owner came to me, I turned to him. "Some of the lads are from England, and
like their food very spicy, sir. Not Spanish, white man, or even English vindaloo spicy.
Please make it extra
Indian spicy. I used to live in India. You know what I mean. Do your
best, please.
" I laid down the gauntlet in challenge to his piquancy prowess.

"I make extra very special for you, sir," he replied, smiling, and with a knowing gleam
in his eyes.

***

Our appetizers arrived. We were hit by the pungent wave of heat and spice wafting from
the one dish given extra attention. The owner beamed as he placed the plate in front of
me on the table. I knew from a distance, without a taste that he had risen to the challenge,
and then some.

Before us was a plate with half a dozen peppers stuffed with a selection of ground chilies,
unidentifiable little
lumpy bits, and white clumps of some sort of cheese-looking substance.
Death peppers deluxe!

"Right, then," said Roddy fearlessly. "I can handle it. Let's do it together. No excuses, or
a bollocking." Dudley, Mr. P, Roddy, and I each took a pepper confidently in hand.

"Remember lads, if it's too hot, take some of the raita." I pointed to the bowl on the table
beside the pepper"No water. Or anything else. It will only make it worse."

The four of us each popped one in our mouths and bit down. Like a shot, Roddy reached
for the raita bowl, and downed a healthy swig straight from the bowl, bypassing the spoon.
Serious stuff. Mr. P
's face froze in horror. His jaw unhinged as he spat out mangled morsels
of pepper onto the plate. He turned red and his eyes teared.

My mouth exploded in a firebomb, with intensity I hadn
't experienced since I'd left India
three years ago. I could tolerate it though. I warmed up and felt sweat developing on my
brow.


"Jesus fuckin' H. Christ, Bogus,"snarled Dudley, after he swallowed two spoons of raita
in rapid succession. He likely wanted to add more scolding, but couldn't. Mr. P followed
and did the same, silent in his suffering, but his watery eyes clearly revealed his state.

"Bobby Bo was merely providing the opportunity for those that wanted an amped up
appie adventure,
" I said.

"Right fuckin' cunt you are," retorted Roddy.

"You asked for it, mate," I said calmly. Innocent.

A few were clearly unhappy with this initial part of our dining experience, and a bit miffed at Bob, despite their professing being tough guys in the HOT 'n SPICY department.

So, just what exactly had gone down here? We had very likely just been "ghost peppered" in that dish. On the Scoville scale of measuring the "bring the heat" factor, the Indian Ghost Pepper, or bhut jolokia (and a few other names), is way up there at the top.


Until 2013, that puppy was reputed to be the spiciest pepper out there. It has since been surpassed by the Carolina Reaper, and for a time by the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion and related derivative Butch T.

But hey, don't take this pundit's word for how hot these things are. Here's a nice intro from someone in the trade with some good narrative and background information.



Here are a few more folks that tried, and who wanted to share their experience. Pop one of these suckers in your mouth, and watch the mirth and mayhem unfold.


Our next hero contestant needs to be admired for taking in several in rapid succession, followed by a "choice" chaser.


Our full-of-energy gal, GloZell Green, wasn't yet hip to things like water and soda NOT being a good idea here to fight the fire, even when she was munching on a lower intensity habanero.


When stuff goes sideways on you here, know ito have some dairy around (e.g., milk, yoghurt, sour cream, raita or other fine things of that ilk.) to help douse the flames.

And sometimes, Momma knows best, as in "Just don't do it!" We had to get a mention in there of her, what with Mother's Day going down tomorrow.


Even if U a hottie, your sorry state won't get spared when it comes time to bring the heat and take your ass down (as Bob likes to say), "faster than a pinata at Carlos Slim Helu's surprise 50th birthday party."



And then, at the very end of this transforming culinary experience, after your having received that consumng warm embrace on the inbound path, one might find that gift of pure joy getting recycled through the outbound, backdoor end. So brace, and beware, Bobbolin(o/a)s.


But hey, it's all just like the tagline points out, on this bag below, as taken from Bob's own pantry.


Things like this, they ain't be teaching your ass in school. That's why Bob hits weddings across the world, where one can find oneself in all kinds of crazy situations and funny encounters in exotic locations. As some single cat traveling between continents, you pick up a few things along the way. And you can read all about it here, since life's too short for boring reads.



A funny book about Bob's travels around the world to see / experience / participate in weddings! It's light-hearted and would make a GREAT GIFT for those getting married or divorced! Ha ;) A MUST read!

Rating 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Padideh Jafari, Esq. | March 17, 2016 | Source Link: Goodreads


Subject: Los Angeles #70 - Japanese Vending Machines
(Posted on Mar 11, 2016 at 03:04PM ) Tags:
At a wedding as best man right after the Northeast Blackout of 2003, you find yourself in conversation about things being REALLY different in Japan with a relative of the bride, since a large contingent from her family are over across the Pacific for the event.

That Asian country has a ton of very kool things going on, and just one of those is the ubiquitous vending machine. That distribution mechanism / channel has been taken to a whole new level of near-art, way beyond the more functional and mundane electromechanical boxes typically found on this side in North America.



From funky and colorful designs, to high-tech user interfaces and inner workings, and the actual products dispensed--which run the gamut from food, snacks, beverages (including alcohol), and a whole lot more to undergarments, pets, and even cars as above--the Japanese vending machine is in a world unto itself, as countless foreigners can attest to when living or traveling there.


From a global perspective, here's a list of some of the most bizarre items ever to come out of a vending machine. Note that a good third of them are from Japan, thoroughly cementing their prowess and proficiency in this department. As a sidebar, Bob nods in acknowledgment to the crack pipe vending machine (clocking in at #11 on the countdown) right here in good old YVR, Canuckistan.


Here are some additional links diving more deeply into the subject of the Japanese vending machine: one, two and three. Any place that sells alcohol in public and allows for its immediate consumption thereafter has to be viewed favorably overall.


And yes, you did hear and/or read that correctly in a few spots above. This type of item below (be it brand new and in various "pre-owned" states) was, and maybe still is, indeed sold in vending machines.


As mentioned in the book:

"Hey there, buddy boy," Wade added, "you lot in Japan also sell used girls' panties out
of vending machines. My girl Klyta told me about this years ago."

"That sounds pretty civilized to me," I said.

"Weren't those panty sales banned, since some were allegedly coming from underage
schoolgirls, Teddy?" Wade asked.

"Everything's relative," Teddy shrugged. "You can still find them--in Akihabara, Tokyo's
electronics district. You just need to know where to go." Teddy winked at him.

"Just like with everything out there in the world," I said.


Some may cry "Urban Legend," saying it can't possibly be true. As with most things that one is told about the world out there today, do your own research and come to your own conclusions. Snopes weighs in on this matter here as an added back-up, and there's more here.

This single element is part of a more encompassing Burusera subculture that is expanded upon here. Or better yet, hop on a plane and be your own truth-seeking, "sneakers on the ground" journalist as in this nicely narrated overview about Japan's panty fetish.


The differences in Japanese society and culture spill over to humor too. For proof positive of this angle, just watch this surreal scene snipped from a 2005 movie called Funky Forest.


And so you thought Monty Python was a bit "out there" at times back in their heyday? Ha! For some, after that unusual experience, and depending on how open you are to new things, you may be feeling a bit like our furry friend below.


As for Japan on the whole. and figuring out stuff there, well, we're not even scratching the surface with this one post.

Yo, when you're some single dude hitting up weddings all around the world, one gets into all kinds of interesting situations, experiences and discussions. There's no substitute for travel, various pundits have said thoughout time, but you can live some of that vicariously in this book, at a small sliver of the price. But after reading it all, a few may well feel as our furry friend above did after that last video. Go figure.



Subject: Westport #94 - Reactive vs Proactive
(Posted on Feb 13, 2016 at 04:01PM ) Tags:
What with Valentine's Day around the corner, why not cover something different? When everyone is thinking all hearts, roses and chocolates, look to Bob N. Boguslavski for an alternative view on that ever so highly commercialized take on relationship romance.


It provides a nice and smooth lead-in to what someone really wants to talk about today.

An ages-old conundrum over what wins the day, strategy versus tactics, or being proactive versus reactive, can be applied to almost any situation in life. This no doubt includes when to puke, chunder, regurgitate or whatever other euphemism one prefers to employ, even if it's the Cockney rhyming slang expression, Wallace and Grommit. Bob's also rather fond of another British term, pavement pizza. One can always rely on the Brits to keep things classy!


Nothing like a little recycling, where one person's late night kebab indulgence becomes others' breakfast the next morning. If you're really into the alternative terminology thing, here's a long list of words and expressions to enlighten and impress family, friend and foe alike on this topic.


Said "act," no matter how labeled, can occur anywhere heavy drinking is on deck, including a wedding. But sometimes, it may be done on porpoise [sic], to reposition or refortify oneself for yet more imbibing, or to void off future ill effects which can happen when one is passed out or sleeping. Some of us remember what happened to Bon Scott of AC/DC back on February 19th, 1980 in that regard as a sobering and cautionary tale.

Basically, tactical chunder is on the proactive side. Then there is the closely related strategic vomit, which is talked about a little more here from the female perspective. The reactive side, well, that's a whole lot simpler, and usually a lot less pretty too, since it's unplanned and there ain't a whole lot of time to think about where it's going. As at that classy Westport dinner scene a couple days before the wedding ...

"Reactive chunders are not nearly as controlled as proactive ones," I sympathized.
"It typically results in much more mess to mop up. Reactive leads to unplanned
spillage with unintended consequences. Proactive is more focused and guided.
"

Suddenly, Horace sat up ramrod straight and stiffened with alarmed eyes. A spout
of spew erupted from deep in his throat, cascading over the table in front of him
and sideways as he instinctively turned his head, right into Little Timmy
's adjacent
martini glass.

"Ewwww!
" winced Little Timmy, looking morosely at his newly infused cocktail.

This led to coining of the word chunkitini with its fresh reddish pink hue. Chundertini is just as good though, so we'll use it as a synonym. Remember, you heard these new words here first. The above interaction from the book can act as a definition of sorts--it's pretty clear what happened there!

A little poking around reveals that there's a cocktail out there called Steel Vomit. It sure sounds like a nasty concoction even if the bonafide stuff above ain't in it per se. Bob reckons a few of these puppies pounded in quick succession may well lead a few punters to the above type scenario.

On this topic of 'regurgitation' generally, classic movie scenes always come to mind and here's a well done "puke nuke'em" montage of merriment for all you cinephiles, which includes a few select snippets from that classic Monty Python flick, The Meaning of Life, among others.


Don't act all grossed out on this topic. Hey, if you like honey, you're actually eating bee barf, so put that in your pipe and smoke it, as this Straight Dope piece elaborates. The quibble and riposte at the end is good, defending use of the word 'barf' versus regurgitation in this context.


As some single cat hitting up weddings all around the world, sooner or later, your ass is gonna see this act - live. Proof pository is right here with a couple of select moments of wedding magic.


You can see those subtle movements in her throat nicely telegraphing it all as she arises from her stupor-induced nap. To be fair to the ladies, Bob must include a guy doing similar.


With a little practice, you too can wind your way down this road, be it reactive or proactive for even more punishment later on, and then end up looking like this pair of fine, rather relaxed folks. It's all about how you carry yourself and hold that grace right to the end, Nice touch as our gal still has enough sense and wits to hold her hair back from dangling into her product delivery on the floor.



Life just seems so incomplete until you've been there. That, and also reading this book to keep you highly amused (and bemused at times). Bob digs deep about everything, to bring you the very best.
Book Review - Wedding Chronicles

Back cover excerpt:
Life's a wedding for Bobby Bo, who's traveled to nearly 100, from Tenerife to Singapore and Chile to Iceland. He's been best man, groomsman, "father" of the bride, and bridesmaid---but always the single guy, whether with a girlfriend, flying solo, breaking up, meeting a new flame, or witnessing an ex take her vows. A colorful cast of diverse personalities from all rungs of the socioeconomic ladder entangles him in a kaleidoscope of comedic conversations and adventures that unveil the wounds and wonders of the places, cultures, and religions he encounters [...]

*********

Bob N. Boguslavski's Wedding Chronicles, the first in a trilogy, is an enjoyable read about Bobby Bo and his wedding adventures. He's living quite the life, attending various weddings across the universe, mingling with different cultures, interacting with all manners of people, and learning a great deal about marriage.

The book is funny on some aspects. It's told from a male point of view and definitely aimed at the male audience. There were a lot of curse words and quite a lot of 'guy speak', and this, along with the overall language and tone, echos my sentiment that it is essentially the male audience that can fully appreciate the narration as a whole. I did like the structure of the book; the grammar and flow of words were very exact.

Having said that, I felt there were a lot of wasted words in the book. There were several paragraphs full of big, unnecessary phrases that I had to read over in order to fully understand its context. A lot of beating around the bush before getting to a point. It wasn't as straightforward as I hoped it would be.

I wasn't too impressed with the terms the narrator's 'friends' used to refer to their exes, one-night-stands, random encounters, etc, even though they appeared jesty about it. 'Bitch' was quite a common term that was mentioned a lot throughout the book, and even the narrator himself referred to his female encounters as 'chikitas', which isn't at all derogatory, but is somewhat un-pleasing nonetheless.

The main character - the narrator - didn't grow or improve much at the end of the novel, like I thought he should have. He was the same person he was from the beginning, the only thing he gained was more determination to put off marriage for as long as he could, having been to quite a lot of weddings within a 30-year span, and seen how marriage changed the lives of his friends... for the worse.

It is an adventurous travel literature largely for the male audience, and quite informative in the cultural aspects of the various wedding destinations. If you or your spouse are looking for something along this line to read, then Wedding Chronicles is for you.

Enjoy!

OVERALL RATING: 7/10
COARSE LANGUAGE: Very high
VIOLENCE: None
SEXUAL CONTENT: Average


Disclosure of Material Connection: I was given a copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review.

Wedding Chronicles on Amazon


Original Posting: Ije Kanu, Literary Fiction Editor | Fall 2015 | Source Link: BellaOnlinesm - The Voice of Women


A couple weeks before Christmas 1996, Bob was sitting in a rather sturdy church in Santiago, Chile, and trying to distract and amuse himself with different musings and thoughts during a tedious, full-on Catholic wedding ceremony. One such thread was about his general attendance, or lack thereof, in houses of worship.

That I needed such diversions at all reminded me why I limited my presence in
religious venues to begin with
--weddings and funerals only. Call it WaFO. I wasn't
even a part of the seasonal C+E crowd. OK, maybe add the odd baptism or bar
mitzvah
or if there might ever be need to stave off hordes of zombies taking
over the world.

Many churches were solid enough for such a siege, but it would be paramount to
hole up in one with minimal windows
high enough up to be inaccessible to marauding
fleshseekers. In Manhattan, the AT&T Long Lines Building was
arguably much more
zombie-proof than most houses of worship. It also held the advantage of not being home
to a
particular religion--unless of course spiritual suffusion itself provided protection.

Not being a regular attendee, Bob was thinking about the fortress-like state of many churches, and comparing to that other edifice mentioned above. And why not? That's the way Bob's brain ticks along. You never know when zombies might strike. Always good to be aware, if not prepared per se.

Here's a frontal of the Iglesia de los Santos Angeles Custodios from the wedding, followed by that NYC structure.


Do zombies even really exist, apart from our fascination with them in movies and TV? Some say there is indeed a basis there, but that is for another discussion altogether. Do your own research and make your own determination.

Regarding picking a suitable spot to make a stand, the downside may well be that if they can't get in, you may consequently not be able to get out either. It goes both ways. Long term survivability is tied to a host of other factors, once you start to think about it. Depending on where one is, and how they are encountered, and with various means and tools haphazardly at one's disposal, any reaction to them will vary, even if it's Grandma, as seen in Scary Movie 4.


The lads in Shaun of the Dead make some exemplary use of old 12-inch vinyl LPs in an inspired creatve moment, in the midst of their off-the-cuff defense tactics.


Bob commends their musical choices, sacrificing some for the sake of others. Do-or-die situations call for tough decisions.

Another facet to consider, is whether the other side will be the more traditional, slow-moving ones, or the newer, more agile fast ones (a la 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later), and how you need to react.


No matter where you are, beyond being holed up somewhere (hopefully) safe and defendable, your ass will need lots of supplies (e.g., guns, ammo, food, water, and other weaponry) in order to keep up the good survival fight.

Here are two highlight reels of improvised, imaginative methods on dealing with and dispatching zombies, doubling down on a Top 10 list approach from some of the cinematic genre's finer splatterfest moments over the years.


Bob particulalry digs the chainsaw bride scene, at position #2 in the second reel, seeing as the damndest things can happen at a wedding, so best to keep ever alert. Here below is the English language trailer on that Spanish flick, [Rec]3: Génesis.


Ladies, talk about being real pissed when your big day doesn't go down the way you had it all perfectly planned. Survival (and marriage) is all about pivoting and adapting.


Now that's spicing up a wedding day somewhat. And as with any good romance story, there is that mandated Happily Ever After" (or HEA, per short label in the trade) for the couple ... sorta ... kinda, in a dark and different way. But hey, that's the way love and weddings shake out sometimes in the real world.

You could also plan your very own zombie-themed wedding, as some have done.


Note it's pure coink-e-dink this post came up in time for Halloween.



No matter if at a wedding, or anywhere else, the Zombie Apocalypse, or a smaller, localized, regional variant therein, may sneak up on your ass when you're least expecting it. That's why some single dude traveling the world for weddings is always open to the possibilities of stuff happening around him. And you can read all about it and much more in this offbeat, and unique novel. Bob's got you covered if you want something different to read.



When Bob was down Mexico way years back and sitting around the pool killing time before a wedding, between arguments with his then girlfriend, he was pondering the following, all the while gandering at her.

She took proud pleasure, whenever asked, in confirming that they were notbolt-on
bazookas. As with car configurations, I tended to agree that OEM, straight
off the
assemblyline, was best, albeit with certain de rigueur manufacturer installed
options.

Adding aftermarket parts denigrated total package value and complicated maintenance
on a long-term basis. Once you started visiting the likes of Manny, Moe, and Jack at
Pep Boys,
it could be hard to stop tweaking and fussing over "improvements" in a
slippery-slope spiral.


Bob draws on this automotive analogy, as applied to people parts, to illustrate his point.

One can do these modifications (mods, for short) well, or ... poorly. You choose. It's all just a little consideration, or not, as the case may be. If you're going to go down this road, pardon the pun, doing things properly is the way to go, whatever your ride may be.


Seeking competent professional help may well be better than a being a passionate, yet probably inept, first-time DIYer. And then, if you decide to press on yourself regardless, with things gone bad, that may breed a future cascade of additional corrective actions, and ongoing issues ever after. Here are a few to consider.


Some of the ones above are definitely a little more creative / artistic than others, making up for any budgetary constraints with sheer chutzpah. But, even if your wallet's thick and you can throw mucho $$$ at the task, getting things done purrfessionally [sic] and all, you still may not get the desired "organic"and "tasteful" end result. But like with many things, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and ultimately, the one with the check book.


Back around the time of the wedding in the mid 90s, the range of going aftermarket with one's body (i.e., plastic surgery), was mostly confined to the aforementioned bolt-on (boobies), nose jobs and other facial plastic surgery. The field actually goes back to ancient civilizations and its earliest methods.


This link has a nice overview for those with a more historical interest in all this.

Sure, there's a bonafide need for this whole area of medical practice, for those that really need it for serious reasons. Where the more amorphous judgment call falls is when folks opt for it, based on insecurity, and low self-esteem. No doubt, a lot of that also has to do with the "ideal" human imagery as constantly portrayed in and perpetrated by the media.

Fast forward a couple of decades from the wedding, and there are a whole range of improved procedures and enhancements that can be had today. Here's a good list from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. Try one - try them all, over time. Be the first kid on your tony block to tick them all off the list. It's all gone way deeper and wider now than Charles Dick's classic, A Tale of Two Titties.

Today, it's not just about slicing and dicing, but there are also interesting injectables for those that wish to avail of the miracles of modern medical science to look and feel their youthful best. Some are deemed less invasive than others, and cost less $$$, but still can have some known (and unknown) long-term, undesired results to keep things interesting and with an ever--evolving look.

Bob will let all y'all decide for yourself what looks good, based on a few extreme examples.



And remember, apart from the odd DIYers that took things into their own hands to cut corners and save some do$h, most of these "improved" looks below were done by those who knew the trade, and were well paid for their skills.


If all those follies aren't enough to make one pause a bit on all this, here's a litle more on Monique Allen's cautionary tale to draw upon.


Yikes, after that parade, it makes one think about the risks versus benefits of these aftermarket aesthetic enhancements.

Your ass is much better off plunking down way fewer dollars and dive into a copy of this quixotic, funny, off-the-wall tale about some single guy traveling the world over to exotic weddings.



***** Enjoyed it immensely

Review by Ian Gordon Malcomson| Amazon Hall of Fame / Top 50 Reviewer

Sorry, Bob, for taking so long to read this terrific novel. It does everything I expect in a novel and more:

- one, this explosively quixotic and elaborate tale of globe-trotting Bob Bo's strange compulsion to travel the world in search of weddings to attend has my attention;

- two, while on this global circuit in various capacities, our hero enters into a myriad of conversations about the state of culture, economy, politics, and history;

- and three, each experience contributes to a clearer understanding of what both brings people together and pulls them apart.

Weddings are one of the important social mediums by which ideas are exchanged, issues are hashed over, illusions and fallacies perpetuated, and friendships made and shattered. Might it be said that the convention of a good wedding, with all its rising expectation, glitter, and celebration, imitates life in interesting and cautionary ways: rising hopes, nagging worries, mercurial emotions, intensive views, and creative expressions. I see this book as a clever and fun-loving parody of all that modern weddings have come to mean to the human race.

As Bob Bo has discovered in his global jaunt, weddings are all about the individual needs of the guests and not the matrimonial prospects of the happy couple. To make that point, the author quickly sums up the feelings of the bride and groom in a tersely worded e-mail as a convenient prologue to the main story: the re-enactment of life and all its comic wonders for the umpteenth time.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Ian Gordon Malcomson | August 31, 2015 | Source Link: Amazon.ca
In 2010 when Bob was getting his first draft of the book together, he put many of the chapters (or weddings) up on Authonomy, for other authors in the community to take a look at and comment on. From several dozen posts up on that website by those on the same creative crusade across multiple genres and styles, here's a fractional selection of opinions and thoughts culled from over a two year period.


"This is so damn funny it's untrue, I had tears streaming down my face, bloody good job I chose to go without mascara today!! If anyone doesn't think this is a good read, send them to me and I'll sort them out for you! " (Jun. '10)
- Mel A. Comley, Impeding Justice [NY Times and USA Today Best Selling Author]

***
"An excellent, funny and engaging piece of work, perfectly described. You really bring a clear picture of your setting to the reader's mind, but it's more than that. You furnish these setting with fabulous characters and stunning humour." (Jun. '10)
- Abi B. Knight (aka Grace Bertram), Relic

***
"You have an original voice, hard to turn away because it rolls along like a freight train. Great imagery, wonderful word usage and punchy dialogue. I love the outline of this, Bobby Bo's adventures and impressions as he hops from wedding to wedding.

One of the fresher voices I've read in a long time. I was at the end of the third chapter before I knew what happened. I found this engaging and interesting. Your prose is excellent ... moves right along with punchy word choice and it's never, never boring. Little bits of wisdom interspersed. Interesting characters. I'm intrigued with the use of music.

In short ... loved this. It's very engaging, very well-written." (Jul. '10 / Jan. '11 combined)

***
"Brilliant!!! Brilliant story, brilliant humour, brilliant structure and absolutely fantastic characterisation. Very, very good read!" (Jul. '10)
- Ian Peter Lavan, Blood and Smierlight

***
"This is hilarious! There is no choice but to back it!" (Jul. '10)
- Amy J. Bates, Love Match

***
"Like a sophisticated rap poem, the words come in a rhythm from some steady source of humorous observations. A celebration of endearing characters, I think even nasty ones would come over as endearing. Loved Baba and wanted to know more of her." (Jul. '10)

***
"Original and very funny. This crosses many genres and should appeal to many as it has huge potential. Well done."(Aug. '10)

***
"It's a cracker! Excellent premise - wish I'd thought of it - and sophisticated writing throughout."(Sep. '10)

***
"Hysterical humor. Worldly wisdom. Fresh. Bold. Original. Endearing characters. Crisp dialogue. Lyrical narrative. Thought-provoking theme. Top notch writing. A captivating read." (Oct. '10)
- Carolina Al (aka Alan Chaput), Savannah Series (Southern suspense)

***
"You've got an easy, almost conversational style, talking to the reader as if we're there with you at one of the weddings. Your Prologue set the scene. We learnt about you, touched upon the subject of marriage (via Lulu's wisdom!) and travel (via sorting boxes for delivery around Canada.) Written down like that, it doesn't sound much, but in your hands it was full of fun and good humour. I can see that you could make anything interesting because you notice small things about people and situations that others usually miss.

Then we begin travelling to the weddings. The characters feel real and the combination of music (revealing a lot about the place, date and the personalities of the couples) the range of countries and the conversations of guests made each wedding very different and memorable. Along the way the narrator's own situation changes. You start as an electrical engineering student but by the end, you're planning a book on weddings.

From the first wedding and the horror of Tanya's sudden interest in marriage, there's important lessons to be learnt. Things like: don't take a girl friend to a wedding and it's best for the nerves if you prepares a speech a little earlier than a few minutes before speech is due. Then of course there's the deeper advice about marriage itself, from the likes of Lulu, Pops, Vijay and Kenneth. Very funny, very engaging and it makes good sense.

Bobby Bo is a great friend and a good listener to a whole range of conversations. There's talk about the economic state of Montreal after the 1976 Olympics, the Iraq war, Turkey's place in the E.U, agriculture, Britain's part in the Middle East situation, the benefit of tattoos, the win-win benefits of hedge fund banking, the global economy and the uncontrollable spending habits of materialistic wives! Plus a good many more diverse subjects, all dealt with in an amusing and entertaining tone that helps us learn more about the characters and also the narrator.

Humorous but wise and ultimately optimistic, this is a lovely book." (Jul. '10)

***
"Excellent and what a romp! Like the male version of Eat, Pray, Love only better." (Jul. '10)
- lizjmm (aka Liz Hoban) The Cheech Room / The Secrets That Save Us

***
"This is my kind of book. Books don't get any better than this. How did I miss it? The title, the pitch and the beginning "This is a work of f(r)iction..." Gave this book six stars ... I wanna buy it." (Jan. '11)
- A. Zoomer (aka Patricia L. Morris), Going Out In Style

***
"Great concept, and wonderfully executed. You're a terrific narrator, and you draw the reader in instantly. I want to go to every single wedding. They're such a novel and quirky way to get to know a culture - or in some cases, how cultures might clash. I loved some of your images - pressed-panini dead animal comes to mind."(Jul. '11)

***
"Oh good, I do love it when a book is so tightly put together and so well written that I don't have anything to offer in the way of constructive criticism.

For me, the best travel writing gives us a sense of place but doesn't get too distracted by that. A country is after all only as interesting as the people you encounter there so the best in travel writing has always been that which produces great character sketches for me. And this certainly has that in abundance. I knew I was in good hands from the very off as I got these great pieces of characterisation of Lulu and the narrator in the first chapter and Baba at the start of the second. Throughout, we meet different characters at the various weddings and they are sketched with equal skill and humour.

Humour is another fantastic aspect here. There are laugh out loud moments throughout. I loved the intros to each chapter, giving us a sense of each wedding before we even got there. It also gives a great sense of continuity throughout. The writing itself is tight and humour packed with great turns of phrase and observations throughout. Excellent, excellent." (Aug. '11)
- RossClark1981, We Are Alive

***
"Wonderfully written and the dialogue is perfect, how clever!! Young, dumb and full of cum! LOL. Brilliant read. Beautifully written and so funny." (Jan. '12)
- Cathy Hardy

***
"The multiple themes which drive this novel make for a very worthwhile read for anyone keen on humour mixed in with poignant biography, and a travelogue that would challenge Alan Whicker for miles traveled supremacy. Most people can point to low points or disasters in their life, but all pales before the trials and tribulations of poor Booby Bo, who seems to attract life's downsides in spite of all the efforts he puts into making his relationships a success. Well crafted and delivered with verve. High stars." (Feb. '12)
- Software (aka Clive Radford), Doghouse Blues

***
"What an interesting book! The pitch doesn't do it justice--most especially in that it fails to relate what I think is your greatest strength, which is your artistry with description and dialog. Highly imaginative use of language, articulate and drily humorous." (Sep. '12)


Alas, it looks like the Authonomy website will be going dark for good come September 30, 2015 as detailed in this piece from The Guardian. That community and forum for authors will soon be no more, but Wedding Chronicles is certainly going to remain available.


Bob certainly valued the platform as a testing ground for what became the completed first novel in this eventual trilogy about some single guy traveling the world for fun and adventure at exotic weddings.