funny wedding books novel amazon.com Wedding Chronicles Bob N. Boguslavski
When Bob was down Mexico way years back and sitting around the pool killing time before a wedding, between arguments with his then girlfriend, he was pondering the following, all the while gandering at her.

She took proud pleasure, whenever asked, in confirming that they were notbolt-on
bazookas. As with car configurations, I tended to agree that OEM, straight
off the
assemblyline, was best, albeit with certain de rigueur manufacturer installed
options.

Adding aftermarket parts denigrated total package value and complicated maintenance
on a long-term basis. Once you started visiting the likes of Manny, Moe, and Jack at
Pep Boys,
it could be hard to stop tweaking and fussing over "improvements" in a
slippery-slope spiral.


Bob draws on this automotive analogy, as applied to people parts, to illustrate his point.

One can do these modifications (mods, for short) well, or ... poorly. You choose. It's all just a little consideration, or not, as the case may be. If you're going to go down this road, pardon the pun, doing things properly is the way to go, whatever your ride may be.


Seeking competent professional help may well be better than a being a passionate, yet probably inept, first-time DIYer. And then, if you decide to press on yourself regardless, with things gone bad, that may breed a future cascade of additional corrective actions, and ongoing issues ever after. Here are a few to consider.


Some of the ones above are definitely a little more creative / artistic than others, making up for any budgetary constraints with sheer chutzpah. But, even if your wallet's thick and you can throw mucho $$$ at the task, getting things done purrfessionally [sic] and all, you still may not get the desired "organic"and "tasteful" end result. But like with many things, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and ultimately, the one with the check book.


Back around the time of the wedding in the mid 90s, the range of going aftermarket with one's body (i.e., plastic surgery), was mostly confined to the aforementioned bolt-on (boobies), nose jobs and other facial plastic surgery. The field actually goes back to ancient civilizations and its earliest methods.


This link has a nice overview for those with a more historical interest in all this.

Sure, there's a bonafide need for this whole area of medical practice, for those that really need it for serious reasons. Where the more amorphous judgment call falls is when folks opt for it, based on insecurity, and low self-esteem. No doubt, a lot of that also has to do with the "ideal" human imagery as constantly portrayed in and perpetrated by the media.

Fast forward a couple of decades from the wedding, and there are a whole range of improved procedures and enhancements that can be had today. Here's a good list from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. Try one - try them all, over time. Be the first kid on your tony block to tick them all off the list. It's all gone way deeper and wider now than Charles Dick's classic, A Tale of Two Titties.

Today, it's not just about slicing and dicing, but there are also interesting injectables for those that wish to avail of the miracles of modern medical science to look and feel their youthful best. Some are deemed less invasive than others, and cost less $$$, but still can have some known (and unknown) long-term, undesired results to keep things interesting and with an ever--evolving look.

Bob will let all y'all decide for yourself what looks good, based on a few extreme examples.



And remember, apart from the odd DIYers that took things into their own hands to cut corners and save some do$h, most of these "improved" looks below were done by those who knew the trade, and were well paid for their skills.


If all those follies aren't enough to make one pause a bit on all this, here's a litle more on Monique Allen's cautionary tale to draw upon.


Yikes, after that parade, it makes one think about the risks versus benefits of these aftermarket aesthetic enhancements.

Your ass is much better off plunking down way fewer dollars and dive into a copy of this quixotic, funny, off-the-wall tale about some single guy traveling the world over to exotic weddings.



***** Enjoyed it immensely

Review by Ian Gordon Malcomson| Amazon Hall of Fame / Top 50 Reviewer

Sorry, Bob, for taking so long to read this terrific novel. It does everything I expect in a novel and more:

- one, this explosively quixotic and elaborate tale of globe-trotting Bob Bo's strange compulsion to travel the world in search of weddings to attend has my attention;

- two, while on this global circuit in various capacities, our hero enters into a myriad of conversations about the state of culture, economy, politics, and history;

- and three, each experience contributes to a clearer understanding of what both brings people together and pulls them apart.

Weddings are one of the important social mediums by which ideas are exchanged, issues are hashed over, illusions and fallacies perpetuated, and friendships made and shattered. Might it be said that the convention of a good wedding, with all its rising expectation, glitter, and celebration, imitates life in interesting and cautionary ways: rising hopes, nagging worries, mercurial emotions, intensive views, and creative expressions. I see this book as a clever and fun-loving parody of all that modern weddings have come to mean to the human race.

As Bob Bo has discovered in his global jaunt, weddings are all about the individual needs of the guests and not the matrimonial prospects of the happy couple. To make that point, the author quickly sums up the feelings of the bride and groom in a tersely worded e-mail as a convenient prologue to the main story: the re-enactment of life and all its comic wonders for the umpteenth time.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Ian Gordon Malcomson | August 31, 2015 | Source Link: Amazon.ca
In 2010 when Bob was getting his first draft of the book together, he put many of the chapters (or weddings) up on Authonomy, for other authors in the community to take a look at and comment on. From several dozen posts up on that website by those on the same creative crusade across multiple genres and styles, here's a fractional selection of opinions and thoughts culled from over a two year period.


"This is so damn funny it's untrue, I had tears streaming down my face, bloody good job I chose to go without mascara today!! If anyone doesn't think this is a good read, send them to me and I'll sort them out for you! " (Jun. '10)
- Mel A. Comley, Impeding Justice [NY Times and USA Today Best Selling Author]

***
"An excellent, funny and engaging piece of work, perfectly described. You really bring a clear picture of your setting to the reader's mind, but it's more than that. You furnish these setting with fabulous characters and stunning humour." (Jun. '10)
- Abi B. Knight (aka Grace Bertram), Relic

***
"You have an original voice, hard to turn away because it rolls along like a freight train. Great imagery, wonderful word usage and punchy dialogue. I love the outline of this, Bobby Bo's adventures and impressions as he hops from wedding to wedding.

One of the fresher voices I've read in a long time. I was at the end of the third chapter before I knew what happened. I found this engaging and interesting. Your prose is excellent ... moves right along with punchy word choice and it's never, never boring. Little bits of wisdom interspersed. Interesting characters. I'm intrigued with the use of music.

In short ... loved this. It's very engaging, very well-written." (Jul. '10 / Jan. '11 combined)

***
"Brilliant!!! Brilliant story, brilliant humour, brilliant structure and absolutely fantastic characterisation. Very, very good read!" (Jul. '10)
- Ian Peter Lavan, Blood and Smierlight

***
"This is hilarious! There is no choice but to back it!" (Jul. '10)
- Amy J. Bates, Love Match

***
"Like a sophisticated rap poem, the words come in a rhythm from some steady source of humorous observations. A celebration of endearing characters, I think even nasty ones would come over as endearing. Loved Baba and wanted to know more of her." (Jul. '10)

***
"Original and very funny. This crosses many genres and should appeal to many as it has huge potential. Well done."(Aug. '10)

***
"It's a cracker! Excellent premise - wish I'd thought of it - and sophisticated writing throughout."(Sep. '10)

***
"Hysterical humor. Worldly wisdom. Fresh. Bold. Original. Endearing characters. Crisp dialogue. Lyrical narrative. Thought-provoking theme. Top notch writing. A captivating read." (Oct. '10)
- Carolina Al (aka Alan Chaput), Savannah Series (Southern suspense)

***
"You've got an easy, almost conversational style, talking to the reader as if we're there with you at one of the weddings. Your Prologue set the scene. We learnt about you, touched upon the subject of marriage (via Lulu's wisdom!) and travel (via sorting boxes for delivery around Canada.) Written down like that, it doesn't sound much, but in your hands it was full of fun and good humour. I can see that you could make anything interesting because you notice small things about people and situations that others usually miss.

Then we begin travelling to the weddings. The characters feel real and the combination of music (revealing a lot about the place, date and the personalities of the couples) the range of countries and the conversations of guests made each wedding very different and memorable. Along the way the narrator's own situation changes. You start as an electrical engineering student but by the end, you're planning a book on weddings.

From the first wedding and the horror of Tanya's sudden interest in marriage, there's important lessons to be learnt. Things like: don't take a girl friend to a wedding and it's best for the nerves if you prepares a speech a little earlier than a few minutes before speech is due. Then of course there's the deeper advice about marriage itself, from the likes of Lulu, Pops, Vijay and Kenneth. Very funny, very engaging and it makes good sense.

Bobby Bo is a great friend and a good listener to a whole range of conversations. There's talk about the economic state of Montreal after the 1976 Olympics, the Iraq war, Turkey's place in the E.U, agriculture, Britain's part in the Middle East situation, the benefit of tattoos, the win-win benefits of hedge fund banking, the global economy and the uncontrollable spending habits of materialistic wives! Plus a good many more diverse subjects, all dealt with in an amusing and entertaining tone that helps us learn more about the characters and also the narrator.

Humorous but wise and ultimately optimistic, this is a lovely book." (Jul. '10)

***
"Excellent and what a romp! Like the male version of Eat, Pray, Love only better." (Jul. '10)
- lizjmm (aka Liz Hoban) The Cheech Room / The Secrets That Save Us

***
"This is my kind of book. Books don't get any better than this. How did I miss it? The title, the pitch and the beginning "This is a work of f(r)iction..." Gave this book six stars ... I wanna buy it." (Jan. '11)
- A. Zoomer (aka Patricia L. Morris), Going Out In Style

***
"Great concept, and wonderfully executed. You're a terrific narrator, and you draw the reader in instantly. I want to go to every single wedding. They're such a novel and quirky way to get to know a culture - or in some cases, how cultures might clash. I loved some of your images - pressed-panini dead animal comes to mind."(Jul. '11)

***
"Oh good, I do love it when a book is so tightly put together and so well written that I don't have anything to offer in the way of constructive criticism.

For me, the best travel writing gives us a sense of place but doesn't get too distracted by that. A country is after all only as interesting as the people you encounter there so the best in travel writing has always been that which produces great character sketches for me. And this certainly has that in abundance. I knew I was in good hands from the very off as I got these great pieces of characterisation of Lulu and the narrator in the first chapter and Baba at the start of the second. Throughout, we meet different characters at the various weddings and they are sketched with equal skill and humour.

Humour is another fantastic aspect here. There are laugh out loud moments throughout. I loved the intros to each chapter, giving us a sense of each wedding before we even got there. It also gives a great sense of continuity throughout. The writing itself is tight and humour packed with great turns of phrase and observations throughout. Excellent, excellent." (Aug. '11)
- RossClark1981, We Are Alive

***
"Wonderfully written and the dialogue is perfect, how clever!! Young, dumb and full of cum! LOL. Brilliant read. Beautifully written and so funny." (Jan. '12)
- Cathy Hardy

***
"The multiple themes which drive this novel make for a very worthwhile read for anyone keen on humour mixed in with poignant biography, and a travelogue that would challenge Alan Whicker for miles traveled supremacy. Most people can point to low points or disasters in their life, but all pales before the trials and tribulations of poor Booby Bo, who seems to attract life's downsides in spite of all the efforts he puts into making his relationships a success. Well crafted and delivered with verve. High stars." (Feb. '12)
- Software (aka Clive Radford), Doghouse Blues

***
"What an interesting book! The pitch doesn't do it justice--most especially in that it fails to relate what I think is your greatest strength, which is your artistry with description and dialog. Highly imaginative use of language, articulate and drily humorous." (Sep. '12)


Alas, it looks like the Authonomy website will be going dark for good come September 30, 2015 as detailed in this piece from The Guardian. That community and forum for authors will soon be no more, but Wedding Chronicles is certainly going to remain available.


Bob certainly valued the platform as a testing ground for what became the completed first novel in this eventual trilogy about some single guy traveling the world for fun and adventure at exotic weddings.


Bob's sorry ass has been to way too many weddings all over the place, spending a ton of dough in the process. At the end of the book, he just wants to try and put some sense to it, together with all the other stuff in life and what's generally going on out there in the big bad world.

Kidding aside, deep down, my relationships have been like all my other life
experiences: they immerse themselves into the mix like new ingredients in
an ever-evolving simmering stew. They are combined with my ongoing exposure
to the world
's ways, my deciphering of what the news media says supposedly
happens out there, friendly advice (sometimes delivered with mixed messages),
and crossed signals, all exerting their collective influence on me.
I am
infiltrated by all, inculcated by none.

So, whaddup with all that?

N.B. That subtle single word above makes all the difference.

At first, when younger and more naive, cuz that's all you are taught and know, you're led to believe that the news is accurate and true, hopefully most of the time, right? I mean, you gotta sorta trust in the system.

Then, slowly, certain telltale things and events transpire in the world on your watch that make you start to question it all. You do some investigating on your own. Dig a bit, and find some good stuff. Dig some more, and a whole mess of things comes to light from a trickle to a torrent to a tsunami. Bob likens this to finally figuring out the real deal on Santa Claus when you were a kid, but on a much larger scale on steroids.

Here are some short clips that may well pique your curiousity on this whole element of the news. It all starts with being open to the possibility that things aren't as they appear, and how you're told things operate. This is certainly NOT the case with many things in this world, and it starts with the mainstream media, which may as well be re-badged as the Ministry of (Dis/Mis)Information.




It's just like that very old, wise, and really deep saying in the restaurant business (that Bob just made up right now actually).

That's not chicken in your chicken chow mein.
What?! You mean it's turkey? The bastards!


And then when/if you do start to suss things out, you'll need to decide whether to take the red pill, or the blue pill.


Then when things really start to change in the world, you'll be in a position to at least not be surprised by it all or already know what's happening, if not necessarily being able to do much about it. Or consider taking neither pill, because no news is also possibly a solution.

All in all, for a break, Bob would rather be at a wedding somewhere exotic having fun as some single cat, and not worrying (too much) about what's (really) going on in the world. I mean, despite what the mainstream news media says (or not), depending how and where you get your information and process it, you still gotta live and enjoy life, right? At least until other bigger, long-planned, behind-the-scenes events manifest, stuff spins out of control, and everything goes to hell in a handbasket thereafter.


In the mean time, just kick back and read this book to take you far far away from the madness and have a few chuckles. Either that, or watch the mainstream news for comedy relief alone, in conjunction with all that finely crafted "reality" television like Keeping Up With The Kajagoogians that is helping us all get smarter about everything.




Subject: Apple iBooks Consumer Review
(Posted on Jul 27, 2015 at 03:06PM ) Tags:
Wow! A fascinating, offbeat, creative, entertaining, commentary

This book is hilarious.

Bob has a unique style. He chronicles his experience at weddings all over the world, including cynical, humorous commentary on culture, politics, gender, food, religion, and just about everything.

It's a travel guide wrapped in a wedding guide wrapped in a comedic rant. His prose is peppered with hilarious Bob-isms. Will he ever settle down? Hopefully not, because we need him to continue cranking this stuff out.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: ToughGuy3 | July 25, 2015 | Source Link: Apple iBooks (US)

Subject: Apple iBooks Consumer Review
(Posted on Jun 26, 2015 at 08:49AM ) Tags:
Brilliant

Laughed out loud and enjoyed every character ... Couldn't stop reading it! It's a must if you like comedy, traveling, journey books.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Ibero33 | September 13, 2013 | Source Link: Apple iBooks (ES)


Subject: Barcelona #62 - Of cava, crowns, and craniums
(Posted on May 24, 2015 at 01:14PM ) Tags:
At an early May 2002 wedding in Catalonia, cava naturally featured on the drinks list right after the ceremony as the celebratory bubbles of choice.

With so many great regional selections, Bob was more than pleased to see the couple had picked Segura Viudas Reserva Heredad, not only because it's a great one (one of his faves) but also because the bottle has such a distinctive and regal look.


As a major bonus, the bottle is also heavy and very solid. Good for a few things it seems. As taken right from the chapter.

We washed it all down with flutes of Segura Viudas Reserva Heredad. Empty,
the distinctive green cava bottle with its pewter base could be repurposed as
a candle holder.

This hefty bottle could also come in handy for homebound hullabaloo: I
imaginated some chikita banana making a definitive debate-ending point
about sumpin
' or other by crowning her man's cranium. OK, maybe twice,
since some hubbies have a really hard head.

Bob reckons the metal base and its sharp edge would do a bang-up job, and provide extra strength against breakage if a woman really wanted to do her man in. Talk about perfect product placement at work here. One reckons the Segura Viudas folks would be more than proud to know their class product doubles down as the drink and instrument of choice (more than adequate for the task) for settling domestic discontent that has reached a critical point.

Ladies, best to celebrate the occasion and drink it all down first with your guy, before the devilish deed, so as not to risk wasting any of the beautful beverage. It will help settle the nerves, and take the edge off. Nothing like a little liquid courage to help things along. And a couple glasses might make it all hurt a little less on your guy's receiving end as well.

As with many things in life though, you gotta walk before you run. "Practice makes perfect," as the old adage goes. Start small, practicing on oneself, working one's way up from beer bottles to wine bottles, just so it is all done right. A few guiding technique tips to be gleaned below, watching these folks with various degrees of expertise and knowledge making their attempts. Some get it, and some don't.




With beer mastered, you work your way up to wine.


Bob's always generally amazed as to what a little alcohol intake combined with some spare time can result in--human creativity and ingenuity at its finest. The possibilities are almost endless if we really put our heads to it.

These are indeed the kind of pleasant thoughts, simple solutions and worldly insights running through Bob's mind as he roams the world to far flung places attending weddings as some single guy. Cheers to your health (and to your head, for the fellas)!

Subject: Montreal #12 - 80s hair and other things
(Posted on Apr 26, 2015 at 04:47PM ) Tags:
So your young, dumb ass is 21, having fun, and "best" man at some friend's wedding in 1987.

Hey, it HAD to be a great year, just because that's when The Simpsons first came into being, as episodic shorts on The Tracey Ullman Show. And a game-changing tune (stitching together an impressive array of song samples), Pump Up The Volume by one-off UK outfit, M|A|R|R|S, broke out big.


Beyond music. the 80s had a lot of stuff going on, with memorable (if not always classy) developments in fashion, cars, entertainment, lifestyle, and culture.

And this is not factoring in all the serious (and arguably more important) geopolitical events and disasters that otherwise framed the decade (e.g. Iran-Iraq War, Falkands (Malvinas) War, Bhopal, famine in Ethiopia, Space Shuttle Challenger, Chernobyl, Ronnie Raygun and the other Star Wars, Black Monday, and fall of the Berlin Wall).





This link lists several 80s websites to revisit that decade, or yield insight into what was going on if you weren't yet around (or were way too young to remember).

One of the 80s things that stuck out, pardon the pun, was the hair. It was BIG!

And it wasn't necessarily the preserve of the better, smarter sex either, as the guys also dove in eagerly. There were many ways to wear it, be it frizzy, sporting a mullet, Jheri curls, flattop, spikes, half-fro, or rattail.





Yo, they weren't called "hair bands" for nothing, and having it bigger and better than your competition was de rigueur.


Which brings Bob back to the scene in the book on this very topic.

The trio of bridesmaids sported 80s' signature big-hair, achieved with lots of layering,
mousse, and curling iron action, and finished off with heavy blasts of hairspray.

That didn't come naturally after rolling casually out of bed in the morning, and it spawned a whole industry of products like colored mousse and Bold Hold hairspray to help meet demand.

Here is a montage of exemplary 80s hairstyles.


To compete with all this new energy up top, fashion had its own complementary evolution and flair as well.


Some folks went with a decidedly cleaner, minimalist look. Keeping it simple was another statement, as our Oirish singer explains here and her reasoning therein back in the day as she shot to fame. Think of all the time and expen$e saved as a bonus.


Imagine if all of us were like that - about everything, from our clothes, to our food, be it by choice or not, as this 1985 ad toys with.


It's one of Bob's all-time advertising faves from that decade. Hey, it's about food, ties to his Eastern bloc heritage, and good old days of the USSR and Iron Curtain. Plus, the ladies remind him of his grandmothers (or Babas).

There was a lot happening on that particular day at the wedding, but the hair still strikes a chord. Decades later, there's no desire to relive that youthful period though, apart from the memories, until Alzheimer's sets in, one gets hit by a bus, or abducted by aliens to make it all irrelevant.

Better to forge new experiences and attend more weddings around the world. As the ad may have foretold with its authoritative delivery and definitive accent, "Is next - rest of life. Very nice."



Five Stars

Engrossing!

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: DNYC | February 21, 2015 | Source Link: Amazon.com
I did win Wedding Chronicles from the author, therefore I read it for free, however i do think the book is well written, like it is quite interesting and as a reader i did quite feel like i was a part of Bobby's journey.

But i did feel like despite the wit and humor of the character some parts of the book were dragged out unnecessary making the book seem longer.

This was different read from a lot of the other books i read and i enjoyed the change. I would definitely recommend Wedding Chronicles to most of my friends if they were looking for a light hearted read.

Rating: 4 / 5 *

Original Posting: Swarleen Oberai | September 20, 2014 | Source Link: Goodreads