funny wedding books novel amazon.com Wedding Chronicles Bob N. Boguslavski
Subject: Westport #94 - Reactive vs Proactive
(Posted on Feb 13, 2016 at 04:01PM )
Tags:
What with Valentine's Day around the corner, why not cover something different? When everyone is thinking all hearts, roses and chocolates, look to Bob N. Boguslavski for an alternative view on that ever so highly commercialized take on relationship romance.


It provides a nice and smooth lead-in to what someone really wants to talk about today.

An ages-old conundrum over what wins the day, strategy versus tactics, or being proactive versus reactive, can be applied to almost any situation in life. This no doubt includes when to puke, chunder, regurgitate or whatever other euphemism one prefers to employ, even if it's the Cockney rhyming slang expression, Wallace and Grommit. Bob's also rather fond of another British term, pavement pizza. One can always rely on the Brits to keep things classy!


Nothing like a little recycling, where one person's late night kebab indulgence becomes others' breakfast the next morning. If you're really into the alternative terminology thing, here's a long list of words and expressions to enlighten and impress family, friend and foe alike on this topic.


Said "act," no matter how labeled, can occur anywhere heavy drinking is on deck, including a wedding. But sometimes, it may be done on porpoise [sic], to reposition or refortify oneself for yet more imbibing, or to void off future ill effects which can happen when one is passed out or sleeping. Some of us remember what happened to Bon Scott of AC/DC back on February 19th, 1980 in that regard as a sobering and cautionary tale.

Basically, tactical chunder is on the proactive side. Then there is the closely related strategic vomit, which is talked about a little more here from the female perspective. The reactive side, well, that's a whole lot simpler, and usually a lot less pretty too, since it's unplanned and there ain't a whole lot of time to think about where it's going. As at that classy Westport dinner scene a couple days before the wedding ...

"Reactive chunders are not nearly as controlled as proactive ones," I sympathized.
"It typically results in much more mess to mop up. Reactive leads to unplanned
spillage with unintended consequences. Proactive is more focused and guided.
"

Suddenly, Horace sat up ramrod straight and stiffened with alarmed eyes. A spout
of spew erupted from deep in his throat, cascading over the table in front of him
and sideways as he instinctively turned his head, right into Little Timmy
's adjacent
martini glass.

"Ewwww!
" winced Little Timmy, looking morosely at his newly infused cocktail.

This led to coining of the word chunkitini with its fresh reddish pink hue. Chundertini is just as good though, so we'll use it as a synonym. Remember, you heard these new words here first. The above interaction from the book can act as a definition of sorts--it's pretty clear what happened there!

A little poking around reveals that there's a cocktail out there called Steel Vomit. It sure sounds like a nasty concoction even if the bonafide stuff above ain't in it per se. Bob reckons a few of these puppies pounded in quick succession may well lead a few punters to the above type scenario.

On this topic of 'regurgitation' generally, classic movie scenes always come to mind and here's a well done "puke nuke'em" montage of merriment for all you cinephiles, which includes a few select snippets from that classic Monty Python flick, The Meaning of Life, among others.


Don't act all grossed out on this topic. Hey, if you like honey, you're actually eating bee barf, so put that in your pipe and smoke it, as this Straight Dope piece elaborates. The quibble and riposte at the end is good, defending use of the word 'barf' versus regurgitation in this context.


As some single cat hitting up weddings all around the world, sooner or later, your ass is gonna see this act - live. Proof pository is right here with a couple of select moments of wedding magic.


You can see those subtle movements in her throat nicely telegraphing it all as she arises from her stupor-induced nap. To be fair to the ladies, Bob must include a guy doing similar.


With a little practice, you too can wind your way down this road, be it reactive or proactive for even more punishment later on, and then end up looking like this pair of fine, rather relaxed folks. It's all about how you carry yourself and hold that grace right to the end, Nice touch as our gal still has enough sense and wits to hold her hair back from dangling into her product delivery on the floor.



Life just seems so incomplete until you've been there. That, and also reading this book to keep you highly amused (and bemused at times). Bob digs deep about everything, to bring you the very best.
Book Review - Wedding Chronicles

Back cover excerpt:
Life's a wedding for Bobby Bo, who's traveled to nearly 100, from Tenerife to Singapore and Chile to Iceland. He's been best man, groomsman, "father" of the bride, and bridesmaid---but always the single guy, whether with a girlfriend, flying solo, breaking up, meeting a new flame, or witnessing an ex take her vows. A colorful cast of diverse personalities from all rungs of the socioeconomic ladder entangles him in a kaleidoscope of comedic conversations and adventures that unveil the wounds and wonders of the places, cultures, and religions he encounters [...]

*********

Bob N. Boguslavski's Wedding Chronicles, the first in a trilogy, is an enjoyable read about Bobby Bo and his wedding adventures. He's living quite the life, attending various weddings across the universe, mingling with different cultures, interacting with all manners of people, and learning a great deal about marriage.

The book is funny on some aspects. It's told from a male point of view and definitely aimed at the male audience. There were a lot of curse words and quite a lot of 'guy speak', and this, along with the overall language and tone, echos my sentiment that it is essentially the male audience that can fully appreciate the narration as a whole. I did like the structure of the book; the grammar and flow of words were very exact.

Having said that, I felt there were a lot of wasted words in the book. There were several paragraphs full of big, unnecessary phrases that I had to read over in order to fully understand its context. A lot of beating around the bush before getting to a point. It wasn't as straightforward as I hoped it would be.

I wasn't too impressed with the terms the narrator's 'friends' used to refer to their exes, one-night-stands, random encounters, etc, even though they appeared jesty about it. 'Bitch' was quite a common term that was mentioned a lot throughout the book, and even the narrator himself referred to his female encounters as 'chikitas', which isn't at all derogatory, but is somewhat un-pleasing nonetheless.

The main character - the narrator - didn't grow or improve much at the end of the novel, like I thought he should have. He was the same person he was from the beginning, the only thing he gained was more determination to put off marriage for as long as he could, having been to quite a lot of weddings within a 30-year span, and seen how marriage changed the lives of his friends... for the worse.

It is an adventurous travel literature largely for the male audience, and quite informative in the cultural aspects of the various wedding destinations. If you or your spouse are looking for something along this line to read, then Wedding Chronicles is for you.

Enjoy!

OVERALL RATING: 7/10
COARSE LANGUAGE: Very high
VIOLENCE: None
SEXUAL CONTENT: Average


Disclosure of Material Connection: I was given a copy of this book by the author in exchange for an honest review.

Wedding Chronicles on Amazon


Original Posting: Ije Kanu, Literary Fiction Editor | Fall 2015 | Source Link: BellaOnlinesm - The Voice of Women


***** Enjoyed it immensely

Review by Ian Gordon Malcomson| Amazon Hall of Fame / Top 50 Reviewer

Sorry, Bob, for taking so long to read this terrific novel. It does everything I expect in a novel and more:

- one, this explosively quixotic and elaborate tale of globe-trotting Bob Bo's strange compulsion to travel the world in search of weddings to attend has my attention;

- two, while on this global circuit in various capacities, our hero enters into a myriad of conversations about the state of culture, economy, politics, and history;

- and three, each experience contributes to a clearer understanding of what both brings people together and pulls them apart.

Weddings are one of the important social mediums by which ideas are exchanged, issues are hashed over, illusions and fallacies perpetuated, and friendships made and shattered. Might it be said that the convention of a good wedding, with all its rising expectation, glitter, and celebration, imitates life in interesting and cautionary ways: rising hopes, nagging worries, mercurial emotions, intensive views, and creative expressions. I see this book as a clever and fun-loving parody of all that modern weddings have come to mean to the human race.

As Bob Bo has discovered in his global jaunt, weddings are all about the individual needs of the guests and not the matrimonial prospects of the happy couple. To make that point, the author quickly sums up the feelings of the bride and groom in a tersely worded e-mail as a convenient prologue to the main story: the re-enactment of life and all its comic wonders for the umpteenth time.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Ian Gordon Malcomson | August 31, 2015 | Source Link: Amazon.ca
Bob's sorry ass has been to way too many weddings all over the place, spending a ton of dough in the process. At the end of the book, he just wants to try and put some sense to it, together with all the other stuff in life and what's generally going on out there in the big bad world.

Kidding aside, deep down, my relationships have been like all my other life
experiences: they immerse themselves into the mix like new ingredients in
an ever-evolving simmering stew. They are combined with my ongoing exposure
to the world
's ways, my deciphering of what the news media says supposedly
happens out there, friendly advice (sometimes delivered with mixed messages),
and crossed signals, all exerting their collective influence on me.
I am
infiltrated by all, inculcated by none.

So, whaddup with all that?

N.B. That subtle single word above makes all the difference.

At first, when younger and more naive, cuz that's all you are taught and know, you're led to believe that the news is accurate and true, hopefully most of the time, right? I mean, you gotta sorta trust in the system.

Then, slowly, certain telltale things and events transpire in the world on your watch that make you start to question it all. You do some investigating on your own. Dig a bit, and find some good stuff. Dig some more, and a whole mess of things comes to light from a trickle to a torrent to a tsunami. Bob likens this to finally figuring out the real deal on Santa Claus when you were a kid, but on a much larger scale on steroids.

Here are some short clips that may well pique your curiousity on this whole element of the news. It all starts with being open to the possibility that things aren't as they appear, and how you're told things operate. This is certainly NOT the case with many things in this world, and it starts with the mainstream media, which may as well be re-badged as the Ministry of (Dis/Mis)Information.




It's just like that very old, wise, and really deep saying in the restaurant business (that Bob just made up right now actually).

That's not chicken in your chicken chow mein.
What?! You mean it's turkey? The bastards!


And then when/if you do start to suss things out, you'll need to decide whether to take the red pill, or the blue pill.


Then when things really start to change in the world, you'll be in a position to at least not be surprised by it all or already know what's happening, if not necessarily being able to do much about it. Or consider taking neither pill, because no news is also possibly a solution.

All in all, for a break, Bob would rather be at a wedding somewhere exotic having fun as some single cat, and not worrying (too much) about what's (really) going on in the world. I mean, despite what the mainstream news media says (or not), depending how and where you get your information and process it, you still gotta live and enjoy life, right? At least until other bigger, long-planned, behind-the-scenes events manifest, stuff spins out of control, and everything goes to hell in a handbasket thereafter.


In the mean time, just kick back and read this book to take you far far away from the madness and have a few chuckles. Either that, or watch the mainstream news for comedy relief alone, in conjunction with all that finely crafted "reality" television like Keeping Up With The Kajagoogians that is helping us all get smarter about everything.




Subject: Apple iBooks Consumer Review
(Posted on Jul 27, 2015 at 03:06PM )
Tags:
Wow! A fascinating, offbeat, creative, entertaining, commentary

This book is hilarious.

Bob has a unique style. He chronicles his experience at weddings all over the world, including cynical, humorous commentary on culture, politics, gender, food, religion, and just about everything.

It's a travel guide wrapped in a wedding guide wrapped in a comedic rant. His prose is peppered with hilarious Bob-isms. Will he ever settle down? Hopefully not, because we need him to continue cranking this stuff out.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: ToughGuy3 | July 25, 2015 | Source Link: Apple iBooks (US)

This is absolutely hilarious, and a very different book from any other. You won't stop laughing out loud and being surprised by the intelligent and fresh humour throughout. If you're looking for comedic escape delivered with insight into relationships, cultures, and political issues against a global wedding backdrop, this read is a must.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Jose Garcia | October 25, 2013 | Source Link: Goodreads

Subject: Apple iBooks Consumer Review
(Posted on Jun 26, 2015 at 08:49AM )
Tags:
Brilliant

Laughed out loud and enjoyed every character ... Couldn't stop reading it! It's a must if you like comedy, traveling, journey books.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Ibero33 | September 13, 2013 | Source Link: Apple iBooks (ES)


A fun and engaging summer read ...

... to which most confirmed bachelors can probably relate. (Although I've long since given up my own bachelorhood, I found myself smiling and nodding in recognition at many of its wry observations.) Each chapter is self-contained so it's the kind of book you can put down for a while then pick up again days or weeks later without having to go back and re-read previous chapters to get caught up again.

Rating: 4 / 5 *

Original Posting: Trevor | June 15, 2015 | Source Link: Amazon.CA
Subject: Montreal #12 - 80s hair and other things
(Posted on Apr 26, 2015 at 04:47PM )
Tags:
So your young, dumb ass is 21, having fun, and "best" man at some friend's wedding in 1987.

Hey, it HAD to be a great year, just because that's when The Simpsons first came into being, as episodic shorts on The Tracey Ullman Show. And a game-changing tune (stitching together an impressive array of song samples), Pump Up The Volume by one-off UK outfit, M|A|R|R|S, broke out big.


Beyond music. the 80s had a lot of stuff going on, with memorable (if not always classy) developments in fashion, cars, entertainment, lifestyle, and culture.

And this is not factoring in all the serious (and arguably more important) geopolitical events and disasters that otherwise framed the decade (e.g. Iran-Iraq War, Falkands (Malvinas) War, Bhopal, famine in Ethiopia, Space Shuttle Challenger, Chernobyl, Ronnie Raygun and the other Star Wars, Black Monday, and fall of the Berlin Wall).





This link lists several 80s websites to revisit that decade, or yield insight into what was going on if you weren't yet around (or were way too young to remember).

One of the 80s things that stuck out, pardon the pun, was the hair. It was BIG!

And it wasn't necessarily the preserve of the better, smarter sex either, as the guys also dove in eagerly. There were many ways to wear it, be it frizzy, sporting a mullet, Jheri curls, flattop, spikes, half-fro, or rattail.





Yo, they weren't called "hair bands" for nothing, and having it bigger and better than your competition was de rigueur.


Which brings Bob back to the scene in the book on this very topic.

The trio of bridesmaids sported 80s' signature big-hair, achieved with lots of layering,
mousse, and curling iron action, and finished off with heavy blasts of hairspray.

That didn't come naturally after rolling casually out of bed in the morning, and it spawned a whole industry of products like colored mousse and Bold Hold hairspray to help meet demand.

Here is a montage of exemplary 80s hairstyles.


To compete with all this new energy up top, fashion had its own complementary evolution and flair as well.


Some folks went with a decidedly cleaner, minimalist look. Keeping it simple was another statement, as our Oirish singer explains here and her reasoning therein back in the day as she shot to fame. Think of all the time and expen$e saved as a bonus.


Imagine if all of us were like that - about everything, from our clothes, to our food, be it by choice or not, as this 1985 ad toys with.


It's one of Bob's all-time advertising faves from that decade. Hey, it's about food, ties to his Eastern bloc heritage, and good old days of the USSR and Iron Curtain. Plus, the ladies remind him of his grandmothers (or Babas).

There was a lot happening on that particular day at the wedding, but the hair still strikes a chord. Decades later, there's no desire to relive that youthful period though, apart from the memories, until Alzheimer's sets in, one gets hit by a bus, or abducted by aliens to make it all irrelevant.

Better to forge new experiences and attend more weddings around the world. As the ad may have foretold with its authoritative delivery and definitive accent, "Is next - rest of life. Very nice."



Five Stars

Engrossing!

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: DNYC | February 21, 2015 | Source Link: Amazon.com