funny wedding books novel amazon.com Wedding Chronicles Bob N. Boguslavski
Subject: Singapore #77 - Kicking 'round the Kaaba
(Posted on Oct 4, 2014 at 01:20PM ) Tags:
So what gives with that Kaaba reference and analogy toward the end of that chapter, when Bob and a couple of the lads were decompressing at the end of the night after they left the wedding. They were having drinks and chatting to a posse of females inside the ever-interesting Orchard Towers with its famed nightlife that was otherwise covered in this other post.

Girls, smelling money, gathered like the slow counterclockwise-circling
pilgrim swarm around the Kaaba in Mecca during Hajj.

Bob was thinking in that general sense of Islam, as Ramadan was full on during that October 2004 wedding trip to Singapore, and the locals of that faith were adhering to that month-long practice. Note that Ramadan and the Hajj do not coincide, but Hajj does coincide this year with Yom Kippur, for the first time in three decades. Bob just figured to cover it off today, since it is Eid al-Adha, after all. Call it coink-e-dink if you prefer.

The Kaaba (or Ka'aba and Ka'bah) is the cuboid building and most sacred site inside the most sacred mosque in Mecca, the Masjid al-Haram. The book's tie to the circling swarm can be seen in reality below.


The circling is called Tawaf, and is always done in counter-clockwise fashion. Okay, maybe it wasn't quite that busy in the bar--Bob was just using a little hyperbole and artistic license to make his point. Here's a 3D animation of the inside and some more background information here for those really curious about the structure.


This video explains the rites of Hajj in six minutes for some added depth. Seems like things are all mapped out for folks on the pilgrimage.


This great VICE documentary really gives one some good perspective on what the scene is really like during the Hajj. Makes the logistics behind Burning Man seem like child's play in comparison.


A pretty crowded scene, and I imagine it is tough to actually be allowed to get inside the Kaaba these days, unless you are some VIP cum special guest. In case you are wondering what the inside is like in reality, the answer lies here in this clandestine video that does us all a favor.


It makes one wonder what this guy's treatment would have been if he had been caught filming. Most fulfilling their pilgrimage will never get to see the inside of the place. It looks like a tough ticket to get, especially if one is non-Muslim, since only Muslims are allowed inside Mecca, unless one sneaks in somehow. Bob's sure that has been done before.

There was a bit of brouhaha earlier this year, as recounted here, when a local cop on duty took a decidedly more relaxed pose on the shrine, and placing the sole of his shoe against it. He looks pretty weary, and probably just needed a rest. However, it certainly wasn't interpreted that way, per this longstanding gesture in the Arab world and what it means as discussed here.


There was a temporary outcry back in 2006 when Apple unveiled its iconic Fifth Avenue store in NYC. Perhaps just another coink-e-dink in the world, as opposed to some porpoiseful [sic] ploy on the wrapping during construction. You can be the judge of that, based on these photos before and after, as compared to the shrine.




Anyway, this whole Kaaba analogy was just a throwaway late night comment by some wedding traveler in a bar with his friends for those that might pick up on the reference. So now you know what's behind it and the link to girls and money.



Subject: Hawaii #54 - When lads look for lingerie
(Posted on Sep 21, 2014 at 10:28PM ) Tags:
So you're out shopping to get your gal some fine underwear or lingerie, and what to do and how to go about it all? If you've never gone down that road before, don't despair. It's really not all that complicated or intimidating.

First, you just better know her size, up top, and down below. That's VERY important. Some referenced pieces below suggest a strategy there if you need some help. Next, we'll deal with the two basic building blocks for most situations.

There are many types of bras for up top, and here's a basic array of the styles out there to choose from.


Then for the panties down below, you also want to know the general cut and style preferred, as explained here in words, and seen below. Looking at this matrix from top to bottom, Bob hears some guys going "Meh" (first row), "Getting a little more interesting" (middle), and "Now we talkin'!" (last row).


Here's a little video advice to get started, as espoused by a few of the ladies.


Here are two better, more detailed and helpful written pieces on getting started in this whole area, here and here. There's generally a ton of information and guidance out there if you want to dig some more.

But the real golden nugget of knowledge here lies with what all of the above or anyone else AIN'T gonna tell you.

That's where Bob dishes it out to Jock Finn, late at night at a fancy Hawaiian reception, after the lads have some underwear on the brain, as it were. It will deffo win a guy a major future hall pass and/or brownie points from the lady in his life. Unless, like, uhm, he got several on the go. But hey, that angle be for another time, and another chapter in the book, with other characters and discussions. For each and every one he does buy lingerie for though, this tip still applies.

As Bobby Bo discussed with Jock Finn, one important secret sisterhood tip the ladies ain't usually sharing on lingerie purchasing is this below. As a guy, you need to know. This is deep insight destined for application in the trenches of mandom.

[BNB] "When you're buying lingerie for your honey, buy a double set of
matching lowers to go with every bra up top."

[JF] "Why?"

[BNB] "On account of they can wear the top a few times no problem, but
down below, being a bit more squishy squashy and all, they tend to change
the bottoms out more frequently. With two bottoms, the overall set lasts
longer between laundering than with just the one.
"

[JF] "You know, that is a good one. As a guy, damned if I'd ever think of that
myself."

That's a top tip if ever for the guys out there when it comes to buying this stuff, but may on occasion need to be tempered with the actual retail experience.

[BNB] "The only practical issue I've encountered on occasion is with the salesgirl
in the store sometimes you need to wrassle for that second pair of bottoms. They
tend to not like
breaking up matching sets and being stuck with a bunch of extra
tops.
One way around it--buy a thong, a full-seat jobbie, or a cheeky, along with
the bra. It seems to be far less of an issue. But then your honey has to be into those
as opposed to just the thong.
"

There's quite a bit more to their actual exchange in the chapter. Bring Bob a problem, and he brings your ass (or her's, perspective dependent) a solution. He ain't just some single guy hitting weddings around the world. There be a ton of deeper matters delved into about how our big bad world out there works in the shadows. You ain't gonna be seeing this stuff on TV, learning it in school, or even dropped in some women's advice column either.

One of your bigger decisions in this purchase process is how much "jingle jangle from Juan's bol$illo" you want to be plunking out here, cuz, like, you can drop a lotta dinero on this stuff, depending on your budget, taste, and lust factor at play in the moment, stage or state of the relationship.

And like with anything you do in life, including buying your gal some lingerie, there's a need to pay a little attention to detail, yet not lose focus of the big picture and surroundings, as this fine European ad demonstrates.


Further, when you're that dude venturing into a lingerie shop somewhere, stay sharp as well, lest you get taken advantage of by some casual chikita banana shopper or salesgirl looking to have some fun at your expense. D'oh, Homer!


Last, this compilation can also be used for even more ideas and style inspiration on the matter if one needs to dig even deeper.


Now, for the other side of the coin, what about the fellas and their underwear selection stuff? Quick like a bunny, it's way simpler, as main man rapper MF Doom throws out here on his "Space Ho's" collaboration with Danger Mouse, where they are collectively known as Danger Doom.


Note the strategic silence in the lyric line above is paying a bit of homage to Notorious B.I.G. in "Unbelievable," where he raps, "Wear boxers so my dick can breathe."

So, ladies, between MF Doom and Biggie, with a little help from Judy Jetson, all y'all got your answer on shopping for your guy down below. Maybe, sorta, kinda ... sometimes.


But you may otherwise find the book way more insightful and entertaining, especially as it comes to some guy's global observations and spin on weddings, marriage, and relationships.



You go to a few weddings, and as a guy, you wonder why many bridesmaid dresses are so bad, be it the color, the style, or to maximize the effect, knocking off both angles simultaneously. Maybe it's because the bride needs to ensure she outshines her posse, so she purposely goes out of her way to peg them down a notch or two in the fashion department. But at the end of the day, the bride can be partly judged by how well her girls are dressed as it's a reflection of her taste.

Here's an attempt at an anatomical breakdown on how to do this right with a few choice suggestions.


It could well be a true test of a bride's friendship with her gals. Maybe you match the dresses to the drapes, as noted here by yours truly at that 1987 Montreal wedding.

The interior was decorated in rich, soft colors, and the bridesmaids' dresses
were designed to match the room
's peach draperies--or was it vice versa?--per
decree by Carole
's mother, Celine. I didn't ask.

But then you take it to another level altogether beyond just a simple soft color and put some patterns to that curtain play.


Or sometimes, better yet, maybe you have the dresses made from actual drapery material.







There really are a lot of possibilities for getting that special look you covet as the bride for your tightknit troupe on the biggest day of your life. You can certainly just go BOLD with color to make an impact.





The vintage look can also have its appeal as well, amd is a little softer in its approach.




Then there's that slightly sassy, cheeky look too for shits and giggles in a quick photo opp with your BFFs, even if the rest of your collective attire is otherwise just fine.



Or maybe you need to fret and fuss for that "furry fringe" look to really take things to an absolutely friggin' fantabulous level. Some $hekel$ must have been spent to get this vibe just right.


A lot of the guys won't be complaining about any bountiful and bodacious boob look though, be it bridesmaids or the bride herself. Be extremely careful not to jump, sneeze or breathe too hard, ladies.



In all fairness though, the discriminating fashion choices need not be exclusive to the female side of the equation. The fellas can also go out on a limb with their outfit tastes as well, but it usually doesn't seem to be as extreme as with the ladies, and can be quite subtle.







Then, there are those nuptials where the fashion faux pas equally straddle both sides of the gender divide and aisle, whether it's impromptu, "come as you are" casual, a painstakingly planned theme affair, or looking back in time a few decades for inspiration.







There's no need to write much, when the pictures show it way better. This single-guy wedding attendee hasn't been blessed by any such fashion-forward events as seen here,so maybe he's really missed out on sumpin' in life.

Bob just be laying out a few fashion options for your benefit and consideration on your big day so everyone looks their best. The possibilities are endless, if you really apply some imagination and creative energy to your wardrobe selections. One need not be limited by budget constraints to make a daring style statement, yet keep it classy.



In keeping with the name game practice of hidden meanings and/or famous references sprinkled throughout the book, some of the characters in this beachside wedding chapter down Mexico way circa winter 1996 fall into ths category.

There was a porpoiseful [sic] musical theme going on with the names of Bob's former classmates that attended from Europe, whether they be Dutch, Norwegian, Cuban or Spanish by origin. They were all lumped together in a single sentence in gang-of-five fashion.

There was Anouk ter Eeuw, Dutch, here on vacation with a female friend of hers,
Norwegian Morten Furuholmen, his Cuban wife Ana Cristina, and from Barcelona,
Jaume Sisa, with his wife Mal
ú, which was short for Maria Lucia.

Here's the deal on all of the names and references therein.

1) Anouk ter Eeuw was a play on Dutch singer Anouk (Teeuwe). She's probably best remembered for 1997's "Nobody's Wife" and picked no doubt for the marital theme there, and perhaps the blonde hair in common with Birgitta Henriksen at the time.


Her surname, ter Eeuw, translates from Dutch meaning "for centuries" and sums up how long Bob felt the two-week vacation and wedding trip had seemingly dragged on for with girlfriend Birgitta at the time.

2) Morten Furuholmen and Norway are the clues for the take on A-ha from back in 1985, and their biggest hit "Take on Me". This was a combination of the names of two of its three members, Morten Harket (vocals) and Magne Furuholmen (keyboards). Hey, bad on Bob for not working in third member Pål Waaktaar (guitarist), but hey, Paul had a few variants on his name it seems, so it was kept simple.


3) Ana Cristina borrows the name of current day singer-songwriter of Cuban descent, Ana Cristina (Alvarez). But in 1996, our real-life, yet-to-be entertainer was not even 11 years old at the time of the wedding, so Bob just time-traveled her name back as needed. Yo, artistic license allows for this kind of crap anyhoo. It's Bob's book, and he can do whatever he wants.


4) Jaume Sisa and Malú (Maria Lucia), the couple from Barcelona, were named after the two Spanish singers. Our guy definitely has his own style, and defines himself as "Galactic." Makes one wonder if any alien abduction stuff is at play here. Her style is a little more conventional, and she's the niece of Paco De Lucía, the renowned guitarist, and daughter of the flamenco singer, Pepe De Lucía. There be a whole lot of music going on in that family.


In aggregate, Bob was going with names that fit with the countries of origin, and not necessarily that the music by some of these artists, if a little mellow jello at times by some folks' judgment, grooved with his own personal taste. Currently, Bob is more likely to be listening to something more energetic and punchy, or a little Austin Powers shagadelic and groovy, Baby, just like these two tunes.


5) Last, but not least, for non pop-culture, bookworm types, I threw in a solitary literary reference in this chapter with Juan Rulfo, who was named after the Mexican author (1917 - 1986), screenwriter and photographer of note. His character in the book is the Mexican friend of the bride's family, who worked as an economist in Phoenix. He was the guy mixing up the micheladas that afternoon and pouring out the fine tequila later in the evening.


Sometimes you go with fame, and sometimes you go with a name that just sounds really kool. From the sporting world, in this latter category, the likes of Coco Crisp, Dick Trickle, Fabian Assmann and I.M. Hipp spring to mind and provide for inspiration there. With names like that, it makes one wonder if they actually "are" and/or "do" when met live in-person.



Bob is saving a few of these neater sounding (but completely fabricated) names for the next two instalments in the trilogy. Here's a prime tandem example to come.

Jack Goff and Holden Hiscockthey were the best of friends.

There's also gonna be some cat called Chris Peacock and a "chikita banana" named Selena Goodhead. As regards the banana angle in that expression, it was covered off in detail here recently.

Hey, don't look at Bob that way regarding all this movie-based naming innuendo! It's all in keeping with tradition and the likes of Alotta Fagina from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997), on down to Dr. Holly Goodhead from Moonraker (1979) and even further back to Pussy Galore in Goldfinger (1964).


One would need to do some much deeper research to see if this goes back even earlier than the start of the first Bond flick Dr. No (1962), or predating Ian Fleming's original book series.

Bob's all-time favorite with this naming convention comes from the same Fagina bin, in this scene from Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002), with Austin going Japanese (in stereo to boot, for added aural fidelity) with them sassy twins Fook Mi and Fook Yu. There's so much more to this scene between the dialogue, body language / physicality, visuals and even Austin's ten-deep bucket list, the details of which are listed here if one is so-ever curious and discerning to dig deep on them there devilish details.


There's alotta good material to play with here, and so little time.

So sayeth Bob N. Boguslavski, some single guy meeting all kinds of interesting people at weddings around the planet. With a name like his, makes you wonder if it's real. But then all you have to do is compare his name to some of those last ones above, and you ain't gonna be spinning many cerebral cycles for long.

After all, as stated at the start of the novel, "this is a work of f(r)iction, where fact and fiction rub up against each other, and nobody wants to know it regardless."



Unique funny read

This is a very unique and interesting concept, and a book that is exceptionally well written. Boguslavski has a talent to string words together, such that it's easy and most pleasant reading. His sense of humour is often riotously funny! There's an incredible attention to detail on many aspects of the setting. The descriptions of food and drink got my complete and total attention ... delicious! Having said that, other detailed narratives on items such as wedding party fashion and architecture had much less appeal to me, were a bit much and I wanted to move on. Female readers may well find the bridal fashion angle much more interesting than I did. The inclusion of global current events of the day mixed into the backdrop are thought-provoking and add depth to the overall story. Bottom line ... a great book I thoroughly enjoyed.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Lewe77 | August 23, 2014 | Source: Apple iBooks (CA)

The close of this chapter set in 1994 features a brief exchange centered around bananas.

A global spat on banana distribution had erupted in late 1993 between the US and EU. This informative piece lays out the playing field nicely. On one side, you had your American-owned Latin American companies pumping out larger-sized bananas, and on the other side, you had European-owned enterprises that operated in many former colonies of Africa, the Caribbean, and Pacific with smaller-sized bananas. As for taste and texture preferences and differences, it wasn't about that. At stake was importation into different global markets, and a tussle over tariffs and quotas.

It was all kind of like a "my banana be better (if not bigger) than your banana" battle.


Maybe the Germans had the right attitude with "just let the consumer decide," but of course that would have been too easy and logical. As tall Dutchman Ruud de Cock presciently commented,

"If we can't even fix bananas, how we can fix all the other serious matters in
the world? The banana battle is only getting started, but will take years to
solve. You
'll see."

Ruud knew the drill, and it only took like nearly 20 years to sort this shit out per here and a more detailed breakdown here.

German Karl Kurt Kottelwesch (aka K-Kube) dropped a pearl on all when he talked about the optimum method monkeys use to peel a banana, one which many humans are not aware of. This video shows it ain't rocket science, Corky. Look and learn. If you really are fascinated by this then you can also check out this WikiHow covering the eight methods to peel one, and wow foe and friend alike with deep MacGyver-like insight.


The US-EU spat t wasn't the only banana battle it seems. The Velvet Underground had Andy Warhol's famed banana design on the cover of their 1967 debut album with Nico. A lawsuit erupted in 2012 and took 18 months to settle per here and here. It was good to see that as the trade banana dispute was winding down, there was another banana themed dispute to take its place. Maybe that was by "design," pardon the pun.


If setting bananas straight took so long, is anybody surprised we can't resolve more complicated world matters like peace in the Middle Crease, pretending that climate change ain't happening, and increasing global inequality. Go figure. We'll all be waiting a very long friggin' time to deal with everything else. Either that, or the powers that be steering the ship just want it that way. Cuz , like, when it's "heads I win, tails you lose," they can play that game all day long and always come out ahead.

Perhaps it makes as much sense as this little ditty, as taken from Despicable Me 2, featuring The Minions, and their take on the Beach Boys song Barbara Ann.


For those with an ever-inquisitive mind and dying to know what language this is, here's a link to some background on Minionese, and some more on the specific lyrics.

Then, there are these banana commercials, ranging from a 1940s classic through to ones from modern day Japan and Australia.


N.B. Somebody who penned a novel and utilized "chikita banana" as a reference for a woman (making his female editor's skin crawl every time it came up) may have been inspired by this vintage ad. Or maybe it was just pure coink-e-dink.





The fellas also gotta like these topical banana-based words of wisdom. So true, but it makes Bob wonder about what the preceding 391 rules are.

Source: QuickLol

Chikita bananas, on the other hand, can get away with THAT all day long, and the world comes to a stop.


Get your mind out of the gutter. It's all about the fruit, Bobbolin(o/a), and proper technique. Truth be told, most guys will not be bothering to correct them on their peeling technique as Karl Kurt pointed out above. As the Pink Floyd Dole ad above declared, "if you feel it, peel it." Bob sure digs the double entendre going on with that tagline.

After all of the above. know that bananas be bidni$$ too, and now that the trade tiff has been settled, consolidation is in the air, as evidenced here by the attempted acquisition action going down between Chiquita, Fyffes and some Brazilians in Cutrale and the Safra Group wading into the fray of late. Maybe the Brazzies are pissed cuz of their showing at the World Cup. In the end, they may all still figure out a way to get cozy together and mix $$$ with bananas and oranges.


Bob be diggin' deep, to bring you the skinny on matters of consequence in our world, when he ain't busy as some single prat traveling the world attending weddings.



Subject: Prologue - St-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!
(Posted on Aug 12, 2014 at 04:48PM ) Tags:
When a place has a unique name like this one, it sticks in your head. In Bob's case, St-Louis-du-Ha! Ha! goes back decades to when he was a teenager and working with some old guy called Lulu as mentioned at the start of Wedding Chronicles.


Where does the name come from and what does it mean? It's a small place in the province of Quebec and it appears the basic origins of the name are derived from an old French word, ha-ha, for an unexpected obstacle, as explained here in this Condé Nast Traveler piece. More on the word etymology can be found here and here, focusing on the "wall" aspect.

Note its location on the map just above Maine, so maybe, one day, if deemed of strategic importance like Crimea (or just because it has a really kool name), the whole area could be annexed by America.


The place's main claim to fame seems to be that it is the only settlement name in the world with two exclamation points. There is Westward Ho! In Devon, England, but with only one exclamation point at play, it's not nearly the same and must be only half as good. There are actually three other names in Quebec with the same telltale "Ha! Ha!" action going down, with a pair of Baie des Ha! Ha! (bay) and a Rivière Ha! Ha! (river). The double-down bay name in particular reminds Bob of a related posting months back on the repetitive (and confusing) usage of Saint(e)-Francois(e) throughout the province historically.

So apart from the name itself, what else is kool, groovy and interesting about this place? Ever inquisitive, Bob did a little digging in both English and French. The town has its own basic website, but is in French only alas, so guess they aren't really trying to push the global tourism thing. Remember, we're in Quebec after all. Français seulement, mon ami (French only, my friend).

A few touristy type things are listed on the town's website with a big park, garden, campground on nearby Lac Dôle (lake), golf course, and an astronomy center in the local area. Note this last element is even nailed prominently in the local coat of arms.


Hey, if all that doesn't excite you to go visit the place, maybe this stuff does, going back to 2012 and a boucane or "burnout" festival of sorts. It appears this has been held there at least a couple times now. Schweet!


No doubt this is another way to get your town on the map. Maybe this kind of enthralling activity turns your crank big time, but it's not worth the trip for most, especially if the distance is large and you have better things to do. Hey, when you're cracking 1,318 on the population front, there can't be that much going on most of the time, or even on a Saturday night for that matter.

Bob tried to dig a little deeper for even more exciting stuff going on there, but didn't really come up with anything more of note. Go figure. Bob be trying his best here, to put global hotspots in their best possible light and with pository marketing spin.

Sometimes, you just gotta do what you gotta do, like some single guy who keeps hitting weddings all around the world. Call it what you will, be it hobby, affliction, or maybe it all just happened by coink-e-dink. And no, Bob hasn't been to a wedding in Saint.-Louis-du-Ha! Ha!, but otherwise has been to another place about half that population size, somewhere deep in remote Canuckistan. That one, #93, is for the second book in the trilogy.



Some names used in this chapter, and indeed generally sprinkled throughout the book, can have special meaning or significance, particularly if one is from a specific country, culture or language tied to the origin of the name.

One of the more obvious character names here is Wade Roe, a reverse twist on Roe v. Wade, one of the US Supreme Court's landmark rulings, dating back to the early 70s.

Then you had Wade's longstanding girlfriend, Klytaimnestra Patsatsoglou, which she shortened to Klyta Patsa, and again as needed to just everyday Cleopatra to make it easier for most to pronounce. We'll deal with both names separately.

Klytaimnestra (a variation on the more common Clytemnestra spelling) is a Greek name composed of the elements klytos, for "famous, praiseworthy," and mnestria for "wooing," hence "famous for her suitors." In mythology, this is the name of the wife of Agamemnon.

Note that our mythological gal murdered her husband, per the beef she had with him as covered in Homer's Odyssey. Yet another another classical literature note of caution for the fellows out there to not get on the bad side of da Boss in a big way, once you are married and joined at the hip.

Now, to deal with her surname, Patsatsoglou, (also spelled Patsatzoglou). The fame connection comes from Christos Patsatzoglou, a past footballer (or soccer player) for Olympiacos F.C. Generally, Patsa is a Greek "delicacy" soup made of cow (or pork or lamb), feet and stomach. Patsatsoglou means the son of the patsa maker. Stuff looks pretty enticing, doesn't it?


You can read more about patsa here in this fine piece so you can work up an appetite.

Then there was the bride's very long name...

Ku'ene Penelope Makamae Pe Ts'ai Fook Chang Kaneaiakala

Whoa, whaddup with that moniker mayhem?! Four things got thrown into her naming mix, combining Hawaiian, Chinese, Greek and English elements.

Ku'ene - "Queen / Queenie" in English.

Penelope - "White shoulder" in English/Gaelic, but also with Greek origins and ties, translating to "weaver" and another reference to Homer's Odyssey, as she was the faithful wife of Odysseus.

Makamae - "Precious" or "cherished"

Pe Ts'ai - another name for Chinese cabbage or bok choi / choy. Someone was having a little fun in the name creation department.

The rest of her name string elements threw in some more Chinese and Hawaiian for good measure to plump it out.


The "precious" part of her name reminds Bob of this scene with Gollum (originally called Smeagol) from The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002). Bob can just imagine Eala saying something like this to Ku'ene, even if the movie came after the 2001 wedding.



The rest of the bride's family's first names were all a little more straightforward, but ran on a regal / royal line, save for Mama Bear.

Eala (her father) - meaning/translating to "Earl" from Hawaiian

Kuke (brother #1) - "Duke"

Palonu (brother #2) - "Baron"

Kaula (mother) - "Prophet", a variant of Kaulana (Famous)

And now, to deal with the big Daddy of them all in that chapter, that kool elder shaman kat Bob met toward the end of the evening.

"Keli'i Ku'uaki Kahoohanohano," he introduced himself, "from Kealakekua.
That
's on the Kona coast, between Kahaluu-Keauhou and Kahauloa, on the
big island.
"

Keli'i [pronounced as key lee ee] - The Chief

Ku'uaki [koo' oo (w)ah' kee] - Guardian

Kahoohanohano (also possibly Kaho'ohanohano) is a family name seen in Hawaii.

Note "Kona Coast" as a title has double-down pop culture immortalization from the 1968 film and 1977 Beach Boys song. So, like, it must no doubt be a happening kind of spot.


Hey, when you be making up stuff as some single dude traveling the world for weddings, you kinda sorta need to keep it based in reality, so it's a little more plausible and palatable.

There was a trio of Hawaiian words used in the chapter to help all tie this stuff together: kupuna ("elder" most simply), kanoa ("commoner" generally, but also, "free one" if a first name), and kahuna (Hawaiian shaman, or a preeminent person / thing in the mainstream)

This golden oldie (written in 1933), "My Little Grass Shack in Kealakekua, Hawaii", plays into some of the K-name and -location kookiness in the book with its tropical setting. This caps off today's Hawaiian lesson, with dollops of Greek and Chinese thrown into the soup for added global flavor.

Subject: Singapore #77 - Sussin' symbiosis
(Posted on Jul 19, 2014 at 12:10PM ) Tags:
Edwin M. Terry, aka Dr. LoveSexy, stated at one point in this wedding chapter:

"People fall into three categorie--pimps, hos, and hustlers."

He was commenting on how the world works, and the people in it. So what was he on about?

One could add "players" to the above mix, as Xzibit did in his rap ditty "What U See Is What U Get" but Dr. LoveSexy was keeping things more basic.


Given this song title, Bob was reminded of WYSIWYG from the realm of IT, but it's not far off topic. Anyway, back to our line in the book, where Edwin likened his view of people and their positions cum pecking order in the world to be not dissimilar to that of Gary Johnston's one in Team America: World Police. Gary pours it all out in this classic scene to an audience of global dignitaries. Hey, he's an actor, right, just like Raygun Ronnie (Reagan).




And then after all that, somebody had to add:

"The world was a better place when that fine balance between mutualistic and
commensal symbiosis was achieved."

So whaddat in plain English? Mutualism is when both/all species in a relationship benefit, and commensalism being when one benefits, but the other(s) doesn't (don't) benefit or get harmed significantly. Now you can ponder that statement a bit more. More general scoop on the symbiosis poop can be found here, for any science-curious types.




Parasitism was left out of the mix that day, cuz, well, that ain't making the world a better place, unless you be like, erhm, part of that Illuminati / NWO / Bilderberg crowd and their philosophy. That's the straight dope on humanity and our world. However, that ball of wax is best left for another time. Just so you know, NWO is NOT to be confused with them infinitely kooler N.W.A. katz.


You can make this stuff about how people are in the world as complicated as need be, depending on your frame of mind and who you're discussing it with, but at the end of the day, Gary Johnston and Dr. LoveSexy got it down right.

And whaddup with the spelling of "hos" going on here? There's debate on whether the plural of ho be hos, hoes, or ho's, per these pieces, here, here, and here. Go figure. No wonder the nightly news ain't accurate neither. After some discussion and diligence on this spelling matter, with my editor, she agreed and was like, "Yo, bro', hos be best." As a bonus, it's the shortest too.

Let's also not forget about the classic, family-friendly Holiday "Ho" too. Maybe a little out of season at the height of summer, but retailers are already geared up for it, rest assured.


This spelling subtopic on hos might conceptually displease some folks. For any complaints that may arise, this single guy traveling our planet for wedding adventures turns to this galactically wise chap here for input and spiritual guidance.

A must read book, and more ...

If one were to judge a book by its cover, I would say Wedding Chronicles vol 1 is elegant, fun, quirky, and artistic. And WC1 definitely lives up to its promise. Initially released in August 2013 only in ebook format, the author has expanded the offering to a truly multi-media, multi-dimensional reading experience, complete with extensive music playlists, one for each wedding episode chapter; Pinterest boards for bonus visual effects; and continuing blogs (hopefully with more to come still!) via the book's website.

At first read, I was already captivated by the "easter eggs" sprinkled throughout the book: they are the wide-ranging, cleverly and subtly inserted allusions to matters historical, geopolitical, gastronomical, literary, comic (and comedic), cultural and pop-cultural that kept me laughing, enraptured, contemplating, and wanting more! Intrigued by the below-the-line, above-the-line theory of European culture(#15)? Visit the blog (March 29, 2014)! Curious what a wedding venue near an Iceland glacier (#71) would look like? Visit Pinterest board #4! Want to know the real deal with tasting hakarl and brennivin? Watch the blog video (Feb 14, 2014)! Or want to get a bit more personal and see what some of the characters and BobbyBo's friends might look like (and what Celebrity Cross-Match is all about -#54)? Check out the March 29, 2014 blog! Then, there are the music playlists, which as an unintended bonus of buying book, led me to discovering a few gems which are now on my own playlist! Of course, all these add to, rather than detract from, what is a truly well-written book.

Even in this first book of three, BobbyBo is already showing an ease with language (not just English, to boot), a keen eye for details, and an honest, natural writing style that adroitly complements the lively characters, witty dialogue, and wedding adventures of WC. Whether it be a frank discussion of the geopolitics of the Middle East at an open-air dinner party of a Palestinian wedding on the shores of the Dead Sea (#52), or attendance at the intimate wedding of the author's own sister (#47), or the revelation of some rather surprising cultural "secret traditions" (#70), reading WC-1 is like getting VIP invites to unique wedding experiences (and exotic locales) all over the world (geographically, WC1 has touched base in at least 4/7 continents, and hopefully the sequels in the trilogy will cover even more!) - without being burdened by the agony of choosing and buying wedding gifts!

So, having read and re-read both the ebook and paperback formats of WC1, I could only find myself smiling, and reluctantly putting down the book - just as one would when bidding adieu to a good friend after reminiscing of times past spent together, memories shared, and good food partaken. Assuming WC1 is only the appetizing first taste of what's to come, this reader definitely looks forward to the release of the next volume of WC!

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: a | July 9, 2014 | Source Link: Amazon.com