funny wedding books novel amazon.com Wedding Chronicles Bob N. Boguslavski
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Two posts recently covered notable 'c' words in conversate and cocksucker. Bob won’t bother to explain coink-e-dink, since that’s pretty obvious and he throws that one around a lot.

We’ll complete our c-word trifecta instead with the grand daddy of them all, at least as covered in Bob’s debut novel. This particular word will no doubt agitate some, but hey, it is what it is, here in North A-merry-ka.
 

In different parts of the world, its meaning is not necessarily as harsh. A rather expansive Wikipedia entry on it can be found here.

The word makes a few appearances at a couple weddings in the book, but it was decided to aggregate them and file this blog post under the Miscellaneous category (together with a few posts on testicles), because, like … it fits. It’s Bob’s blog, and he can do what he wants with it.

It popped up twice in Tenerife #18.
 
“Right fuckin’ cunt you are,” retorted Roddy.

A little later on, the Spanish version made a short, sharp appearance at the hand of our groom’s wife-to-be. She was a bit exasperated with someone.
 
“¡Coño!”

Both uses above were further contextualized a little later in Mustique #47.
 
Some, though, might label me an outright cunt like Dudley’s straightforward
mate Roddy did in Tenerife, just like an American. The more suave and sophisticated
might offer up something akin to, “Yes, lovely.
C U Next Tuesday.”

Another nifty way to disguise the word was to sing it, spouge style, as in “Sixpence”
by The Escorts from back when I was just a little nipper.
For dem Bajans, you were,
as need be, a cun-tree girl or boy.


The Spanish coño was far superior to its English equivalent in my eyes. When
Guayarmina employed it—even with her exemplary fire and flair—at the close of her
fiancé’s bachelor night, it wasn’t crude, lewd, or rude. With the brittle final English
consonant gone plus a substituted
ñ, coño seemed somehow softer, and a more
appropriate alternative for everyday speech on both sides of the genital divide.
 

Bob digs the way them Bajan ladz subtly played with the words, using strategic pauses and gaps to get their desired verbal effect. That's the way things rolled in the Caribbean circa 1973 or so as regards explicit lyrics. 

Now, in Britain, home of proper English as some are wont to claim, the word doesn’t carry as much negatory gravitas as on this side of the pond, but it's still pretty bad. Here’s someone’s Grammie getting in on the action.
 

Here’s a related delightful ditty on it, featuring Steve Coogan, taken from The Trip (2010). This was apparently deleted out of the final cut for whatever reason. Go figure. 
 

Following is a TV compilation featuring a bunch of spontaneous “cunning linguists." Said group is NOT to be confused with two similar sounding sexual words connected to today’s topic. (i.e., concatenate the content in prior quotes and remove some letters for both possibilities). Aren't word games fun?!
 

Here’s a nice little primer on the word's etymology, presented with suave British sophistication to make it more palatable and polished.
 

Down Under (aka Oz-Trail-ya), it’s actually a term of endearment or affection reserved for your best mates. Apparently the same in Scotland too, as seen here. So there, put that in your pipe and smoke it.
 

Here’s a pair of homegrown Aussie sociology scholars with street cred expanding on this. Note the ever important beverage product placement for added authenticity. 
 

If you ever get caught out calling your mother-in-law that word, employ the intercultural Aussie defen(s/c)e maneuver, and your sorry ass is covered.
 

Or better still, switch language gears to Spanish. As quoted above, Bob deffo has a marked preference for this, as it just sounds so way, way better. Depending on the country of usage too, its meaning can vary widely, and can be more a general expression of frustration, joy, shock or anger, akin to the versatile F-bomb in Ingrisch. More on those Spanish meanings here.

Here's a little lingo instruction on this one. 
 

Now that we've thoroughly covered this, Bob promises to drop 'c' word coverage for now, behave a little better in mixed company, and move on to other experiences from his worldwide wedding travels.
 

Pretty much anything  can be discussed at a wedding, depending on where you are, and who you're with. It ain't all just make nice, polite cocktail-and-canapé chitchat. Now you're all set to conversate about cocksuckers and cunts, be it by coink-e-dink (on a Tuesday), or not. 


 
Here's one early paperback reader's suggested preferred serving presentation as regards consuming Wedding Chronicles. One imagines it could work just as well with any other book. 


Repeat accompanying complementary "medicinal" beverage à volonté. As with all alco-pops, there's never a specific recommended serving size printed on the bottle. You figure that shit out yourself.

If one zooms in on the glass, it actually has "University of Toronto Medicine" emblazoned on there. How prescient of our reader, who knows what medicine be all about. 


The photo was taken somewhere in Canuckistan, well into scotch whisk(e)y o'clock time, on July 6, 2014.
 
Subject: Past Tweet Review Quip In Passing
(Posted on Jun 27, 2019 at 11:51AM )
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While not a full-on reader review per se on the usual book platforms, Bob decided to dredge up this past Tweet and sling it here nonetheless. Someone was on munch patrol and perhaps otherwise occupied at the time. 

"This is such an addicting book. It seems to follow me everywhere I go." 
#WeddingChronicles @BogusBobby #GoodBook


Rating: Yo, nuttin' numerical, just what's above.

Original Posting: Michelle Marshall (@michellexx0o) | July 7, 2014 | Source Link: Twitter

Subject: Amman #52 - Conversate
(Posted on Mar 30, 2019 at 08:09AM )
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One word guaranteed to make many a folk bristle or get triggered is “conversate.”


It ain’t no word per many.


So what’s the real deal here, and are the self-appointed guardians of the English grammar galaxy correct?

Bob decided to cover this topic because the other day, his sister Patty Bo, and her family were “conversating” with their Uber driver in Vega$ on Spring Break, and said transport services professional took umbrage with the term. Debate ensued. Patty Bo tried to contact the all-knowing, inimitable, irreverent and irrepressible sage, Dr. LoveSexy (aka our main man, Edwin M. Terry), for his take on the matter. Alas, there was no phone connect. No amount of persuasion could convince said wheel man that conversate is a real word.

As for The Doctor, well, he already long ago was set on the matter, per this Middle East wedding chapter comment. 

“Folks want to get their drink on,” said Dr. LoveSexy. “Me included. Conversating
with interesting folks in the main ballroom and dancing are nice, but talking with
fewer folks over drinks is far better.”

Even in first draft form years back, when Bob’s editor read this, she gleefully commented back, “This is one of my favorite words!”

Don’t be going hating on folks that use the term, or look down on them, as seen here in this TMZ shortie from 2015. Folks be piling in, but one honorable soul stands up for what’s right.
 

Language is a living, breathing beast. It evolves—new words arrive, and some old ones fade away. The good news is, conversate is indeed a real word.


Don’t take Bob’s word for it. Look it up. The Oxford dictonary added it as a new word back in 2016 per here, with further cementing definition support here.

Merriam Webster weighs in here and here. One just has to dig their nod to Biggie Smalls on the matter. And hey, early usage does go back some 200+ years, if including that initial literary sighting in that first Merriam Webster link.

We will give a nod to the finger-wagging, naysaying, negatory [sic] folks here, by noting that the word doesn’t appear in the Cambridge dictionary, and alternatives are instead listed here.

Even Judge Judy had been schooled on the matter by her viewers, and was humble enough to clarify things and grudgingly admit she stood corrected. Bob does apologize for the somewhat grainy video and suboptimal tinny audio here, but the point comes across clearly, regardless. Y’all don’t need hi-def surround sound to suss this out.


Here’s a minute-long musical montage paying homage to the word, while the imagery slaps it down in parallel. Bob hopes it makes both sides happy, even though his sorry ass knows the real deal.


If your reading mind digs more controversy about matters large and small, on myriad topics beyond just weddings and marriage, mixed in with dark humor, sarcasm and satire, then just tuck into Bob's debut novel, while our single cat antihero keeps beavering away on the next two in the trilogy.

Grammar gurus be warned, as Bob does get creative on that front, twisting and bastardizing some words, and making up a few more, but it’s all done on porpoise [sic].


Plus, his written abuse of the language had to pass muster with his editor. She was on board with the bigger picture.

 
In closing, Bob just needed to state that this blog post, about this particular 'c' word, had nothing to do with his last post here about another certain 'c' word. We call that shit, coink-e-dink. So feel free to go forth and conversate about cocksuckers as you see fit. Bob has some other 'c' words he will deal with another time. 

 

Subject: Prologue - A Certain Word
(Posted on Feb 3, 2019 at 01:18PM )
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There are some great words that folks can label somebody with, and one of Bob’s faves is this one.


Expressive, but not as harsh as others, and as a bonus, in today’s increasingly polygender and/or gender neutral world we find ourselves in, it has more potential application than ever before since it’s neither here nor there in that sense, and also whether so in reality (by action) or just by derogatory conceptual meaning.


Back in Bob’s teen daze [sic], for a few years on the job almost every Saturday, he fell into that bucket. It was all at the hand of a certain potty-mouthed but wise, grizzled colleague named Lulu.

“… you cocksucker!” barked Lulu in his pronounced French Canadian accent,
but a smile undermined his tone. He was prone to random generic name-calling
and enjoyed taunting the younger workers. Most took it in stride. Everybody was
a cocksucker.

Hey, one could  be called a lot worse, like, erhm, say … as follows. 


The word’s a classic, and gets a lot of usage. This fine scene from The Usual Suspects (1995) comes to mind.


Deadwood done did it good too.


More on Deadwood here and its fiery flavor of frontier dialogue. Following is a somewhat more introspective and deeper philosophical take from The Dictator (2012). 


One can further enhance the word’s use with other adjectives. It’s flexible … you can play around with it, to make it harder or softer, as needed. N.B. This regards the "usage" of the term, Bob means, for the porpoises [sic] of clarity.

First usage of the term goes back to circa 1890, looking at the etymology of it from these two finds here and here.


Here’s a sophisticated Salon piece, The modern history of swearing: Where all the dirtiest words come from, on the origins of various other such words, beyond this particular one under the shine of our Sunday spotlight.

Creative possibilities abound. Here’s a US centric spin from an academic slant to foster competitive school spirit and all.


Here in Canuckistan, Trailer Park Boys took it to a higher level of excellence in application.


It may also come into everyday usage in the work place.


Is it real or is it VATSIM? Dunno. 


We now return your sorry ass to regularly scheduled Stuporbowl LIII programming and related festivities. Bob found a noteworthy sports bet challenge from two years ago with Meet the 2 porn stars who owe America 500,000 blowjobs. It's tied to today’s event and word in combination, with actual application in the field, be it on a Sunday, or any other day of the week.

One had to dig really deep to pull that last piece up. But hey, Bob's always willing to put in the hard work for your benefit, so you can be hip to what's going on out there. 

Bob’s wedding tome is chocka-blocka full of a certain style of language, as he travels worldwide to weddings all over the gaff. So be warned, if easily offended. A few readers have been shocked.


But hey, it is what it is. No apologizin’ there, so put that in your pipe and “smoke” it, anyway you want.


Legal disclaimers are everywhere in our lives. The most blatant ones are suitably in the “land of litigation,” aka USA, and industrywise, Big Pharma takes the gold medal by a long shot.
 
.

Bob was inspired by some of those drug ads and their potential “side effect" disclaimers at the end. Case in point below, for this one real product some may have heard of.


Good times ahead, no doubt, once one's on that prescription and popping that puppy. The "quit smoking" shitshow will sure get solved otherwise by doing oneself in. It's just like with this follow-on parody, that's hard to discern from many real pharmaceuticals actually on the market


Okay, we have the basic disclaimer principle down. No doubt, it's always about our safety, health or well-being.

Back to wedding land and Bob's experiences in his darkly humorous traveloque. Given some of the culinary choices on the menu in Iceland, as regards certain animals and consumption therein, Bob got in on the action with his own similarly suitable situation disclaimer. He also needed to cover his ass regarding some of the graphically descriptive content about said food options. 

Legal Disclaimer: No puffin, whale, sheep, shark, or any other animal(s)
was physically harmed, whole, in part, or effigy thereof, during the
writing of this chapter. Any reference to a real puffin, whale, sheep, or
shark, living or dead, is all a fig mint [sic] of your imagination. Further,
this limited warranty shall not extend to previous or subsequent chapters,
let alone to follow-on future works, be they related, derivative, or otherwise,
and in paper, electronic, or other future matter/energy forms. Consumption
of said animals, raw, cooked, or part way along said process, regardless of
preparation methodology, is another matter altogether, and may cause
abdominal cramping, constipation, loose stools, projectile vomiting, other
illness(es), and/or a combination thereof, to varying degrees of severity,
but not necessarily in that order, so
caveat lector.

That country does have some unique dishes, as already covered on the shark side of things with Bob's post on Hákarl and Brennivínand there’s a great Icelandic food rundown on this Aussie wanderer's piece at Boiled sheep head (svid) or rotten shark (hákarl)? Weird and wacky Icelandic food.


With eats as described and seen above, one never knows when someone traumatized, offended, or with time on their hands, might exact some frivolous legal thang on an author’s ass, even if all imaginated [sic] in the book to mess with the reader's head. But hey, all you gotta do is look around and see who be out there, freely roaming the streets, to judiciously play it safe and not be sorry down the road. 

So one can't say they weren’t warned about anything potentially detrimental from the whole reading experience. Cuz, like, there are a lot of folks out there that may not be totally switched on to stuff going on around them in their daily lives either.



The possibilities with alcohol and human creativity / ingenuity is always a notch up to the next level. 


And within that segment of alcohol inspired behavioural side effects, tequila can take things to higher excellence, ergo the need for its very own suitably absolving disclaimer. 

If alcohol is not your scene, suck back a few bags of this bad boy below, especially if you have a sweet tooth and are having a little trouble being “regular” and all, as some of the ladies out there are wont to lament on occasion. 


Lawyers are naturally more attuned to the concept in everyday life practice.  


One can easily work this stuff into daily life. A few good ones to consider putting at the bottom of your email footer can be found here at Parodies of Stupid Email Disclaimers

Marriage, given its life changing nature, sure as shite probably should have some sort of legal disclaimer, given how that all goes in the end for many.



But that doesn’t seem to stop most punters from rushing down the aisle with abandon. If a couple memes don't get folks to exercise some caution here, consider reading Bob's crazy-ass, eclectic debut novel to get some knowledge on the matter from a laid back, single-cat “marriage dodger” who hits up weddings all over the gaff.







Subject: Westport #94 - Five Marriage Rules
(Posted on Feb 2, 2018 at 09:21PM )
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There's a lot of material out there on marriage advice and how to keep stuff together long term. It's dished out by an industry of professional counsellors, journalists, bloggers, talking heads, pundits and assorted punters in the space. Some are more academic, or prim and proper, rather than simple, straight-up street savvy.


Bob's into unearthing kernels of advice straight from the trenches via people living it, who just say it how it is, based on their real experience and lessons learned. Case in point was this exchange with 92-year-old "Pops" di Tomaso, family patriarch, at this 2007 wedding.

Here's his take on a silky smoove 64.5 year run of wedded bliss, and five rules for the fellas to take away and put into practice.

"Stuff isn't complicated in marriage. First and foremost, know that if momma bear
ain't happy, ain't no bear happy."

"Oh yeah, I have heard that sentiment from many in the married crew, just not in
those words. I have that one down, no a
rgument there."

"Second, a man needs to suck it up and be prepared to lose most battles. I reckon
19 of 20 on average, long term. Fight for the important stuff, and only put your foot
down then. Most issues of fighting in a marriage aren
't life or death. That is the art of
compromise."

"Nineteen out of 20 is compromise?" I stammered.

"Yep. So pick your 1 out of 20 carefully. OK, worst case, if she's really a hard ass,
maybe 1 out of 100. Also, learn to fight fair. That's really important. Learn not to draw
it out forever. Moving on is important as well. You're going to fight for sure. It is not a
matter of if, but when, and how often."

"So in a nutshell, lemme see, keep momma bear happy, fight fair, not for long, forgive
and forget, and be prepared to lose most fights,
" I summarized, counting his rules out
on five fingers.

"Easy enough to remember, but a lot harder to put into practice."

Stuff like this, you can't make up unless your sorry ass lived it. Dat be troof! With a little more thought, one can shorten this to "suck it up, shut up and smile." Others have simply stated, "Happy wife, happy life."

It should be noted that Pops' imparted wisdom came a few years after the demise of his beloved wife, so she wasn't around for said conversation, otherwise his words might have been more tempered if she was within earshot.

Bob's already covered observations and commentary about long-term marriage generally, but today is more about optimism and pulling it off successfully

But hey, 'nuff said from the menz's point of view. Let the other side weigh in.


There's no right answer at the end of the day. You wade in, play the game and takes your chances, spin the roulette wheel and see what happens in that big casino.

Above all, one needs a sense of humor and tolerance to get through it all, but everybody has a different spin on it.


Don't listen to what other folks have to say about marriage. Make your own experience, so you can one day spout forth your own sagacity with authority. Or not, as the case may be.


Remember to NOT believe everything you read and see out there. Trust, but verify ... everything. This includes the meme above, re Yao Ming, and other important shite like The News.

Based on Bob's and others' observations, the wedding part is cake, pardon the pun, beyond the literal element on that day. What comes after the fiesta frolic dies down is a lot trickier to manage and survive, like Groundhog Day.


Bob's first novel is chocka blocka full of tons of stuff with a different spin, if you can handle dolllops and doses of dark humor, sarcasm and satire mixed into the message, as our single, quasi-antihero, potty-mouthed stumblebum travels the world hitting up weddings.



You know it's there, and it will come and bite a man's ass whenever and wherever. So be on guard. Bob's talking about that there female intuition thing. It happens all the time. A guy can't get away with shit.

It's just like at this wedding, when Bob was a young'un back in 1987.

When I finally entered the room, Tanya spotted me, and immediately
came up to me.


"Where have you been?" she said, arching her eyebrows. "You were
gone awhile."

"Oh, I just grabbed some air outside, and had a chat with Mitchell."

"What were you talking about for so long?"

"His, uh, relationship with Laurie and where it was going, or not." I said.

"You know, their whole on-again, off-again saga with all that major work
and drama.
"

"Aha." She gave me that all-knowing female look. She knew that I'd been
talking about other matters and that likely it related to us. You could never
figure out how they do that.


So just accept it's there, and the sooner your sorry ass understands that, and learns to operate within that paradigm, then the better for your male happiness and well-being in a relationship.

Here are a couple pieces on trying to explain it all, How A Woman's Intuition Is The Most Powerful Force There Is and this second piece with Women's intuition is biological: Lower exposure to testosterone in the womb gives females an extra 'sense'.


Our PhD gal, Audrey Nelson, spouts a somewhat sober and serious spiel on it.


She"s correct and clinical in her approach, but it"s a little too intellectual for we simple stupid fellas. So here"s straight up Derrick Jaxn weighing in and also mixing in the "It's about trust" angle, and how it should be for the ladies and their men.


Comedian Billy Sorrells has a good go on this as well.


They even make songs on this. There are many out there. Here's a throwback 1986 disco soul pop number, from the Dutch side of the pond, with our gals Mai Tai.


It should be noted that this wedding actually happened 30 years back on June 20 ... a friggin' long time ago! They're still together, and we had a good laugh on the phone about it. An early day strategic text message from this side "reminded" hubby bud of their milestone, and saved him some grief no doubt.

What makes marriage "work" over time (beyond just a few years) was covered off in this prior post on Long-term marriage, but here's a quick and easy clue to assist with sussin shit out.


In the long haul, a guy deffo needs a sense of humor, cuz your sorry ass is gonna take that intuition (and other multi-faceted) punishment coming your way ... every friggin' day!!!! Here's Billy Sorrells again with a small example of this, and being on the receiving end.


Bob's digging his defeated "Just let me live, okay" at the close.


If you don't have enough humor going on in life, or need an escape from such relationship situations, find solace in this read as our single, quasi-antihero Bob gallivants about hitting weddings worldwide, dodging marriage bullets and trying his best not to let those female powers have full control beyond the 99.9% of the time they already do.



You're young and single at some wedding abroad, and things are fine, but then you get the drift that one of the two between bride and groom feels the need to "fix" things by playing matchmaker with your ass and some friend on the other side.

This tactic happens quite a bit as these two pieces speak to with The 3 Questions To Ask Before You Play Matchmaker At Your Own Wedding and Why Your Wedding Is The Perfect Place To Play Matchmaker.


Sure, the odd blue moon fairytale lottery romance can strike as recounted in 10 Couples Who Met At A Wedding (Really!), but it's far from the norm, so let's smoke another one, shall we?


Getting back to Bob's past situation in London, just before the ceremony, he got his first warning.

Jimmy McCracken sidled up alongside me, with Cory a step behind us.
"Hey, Bobby, I hear that Bernadette is keen to set you up with her Aussie
friend, Jilli. You should go for it," he said in his gravelly baritone.

Then in a car on the way to the reception the second warning shot is fired.

"Bernie told me you are at our table, Bob," said Tammy, changing the
subject. "And so is Jilli." She turned her head with a simper to look at
me in the back.

"Sounds like something prearranged." I said warily, looking back at her.

Then, just before the reception meal, you still need to do that there Trust, but verify thing, which is ever so important, especially in this day and age with the super bogus crap they spin in The News to we sorry brainwashed (m)asses.

I checked the seating plan and made my way to the table. Bernadette
had indeed made sure that Jilli was assigned beside me. The fix was in.
Our round table of eight was an equal mix of friends from both sides.


Now, apart from going solo to a wedding to begin with, which has never bothered Bob in the least, it does seem to freak many a folk out, which is understandable.

For some, it's the pressure of being there alone to be harangued and harassed by friends and family on why you aren't settled down and married off yet. Or it could be about being in a big crowd and not knowing many (or sometimes even, anyone, apart from one of the wedding couple) there. Age, life (in)experience and personal insecurities also play a factor with one's level of (dis)comfort. It's all about attitude!


At this particular wedding just outside London back in '91, Bob was kool with all of this, since his ass wasn't even yet 30, and he's always been pretty relaxed about most shit out there.

Others over the 30-year-old watershed seem to disagree, as outlined here from differing perspectives in The Minefield of Being Single at a Wedding, chased with Going To A Wedding Alone Doesn't Have To Suck, and closing with This Is What I Learned from Going to Seven Weddings Alone.

Really, it all boils down to your mindset and eagerness, as our effervescent and enthusiastic gal recounts with Brtish aplomb in 21 easy breezy steps.


More stuff happens in these solo situations as one gets older and crossing major life milestones, but let's cover that shit off another time.

Going solo certainly opens the door for a wedding hookup. Everyone's relatively pre-vetted already, unless some uninvited individual(s) manage to surreptitiously grace the event.


These two pieces elaborate further in When You're Single at a Wedding, It's ALL About Finding a Hot Hookup and the aftermath with What Really Happens After a Wedding Hookup. But hey, there ain't no real rules here. Make 'em up as you go along, depending on the situation.


So, if your solo ass does indeed get lucky, here's a handy dandy piece with suggestions on the 7 Best Places for a Discrete Wedding Reception Hookup. It's all about situational awareness in situ.


If the intended romantic pairing strategy doesn't work out as preordained, and even if there's no hookup action whatsoever, don't despair. Kick back, relax and enjoy yourself with another alco-pop and dancing, as this energetic and passionate guest displays with gusto.


If you don't possess that there type A personality and gumption to make things happen on your own as above, chances are a there's always the wild-card, anything-is-possible factor where other random mofos spontaneously take the event in new directions for you to behold firsthand.


Ahh, such wedding memories will last a lifetime, even if those marriages don't quite make it nearly as long.

If anyone is interested in knowing what transpired in London with Bob that night, and many other follow-on exotic events, tuck into his debut novel covering off some single guy's worldwi(d/s)e wedding (mis)adventures. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.




We've all heard those stories of "cold feet" in the days, weeks or months before the wedding, and even on the day itself. A few of us may have even witnessed it first hand with friends, family, guided someone close through it, or experienced it personally.


As was the case at a friend's 2001 spring wedding in Hawaii, our groom to be, Lamont Lewis, was thinking about what lay ahead, just hours before the ceremony, hanging out in his suite with Bob and his best man, Isaiah Washington. Shit don't get more real than that, as the minutes tick down to ceremony kick-off.

"I don't know if I'm making the correct decision here," Lamont said with some
weariness. "I'd call the wedding off, right now if I had more guts. But I don't. So,
I'll just go through with it and get a divorce later."

"Wow, that's heavy," I said, "and you're just realizing it right at this very moment?"

"Well, it's been building for a while. But I can't call it off. Everyone's here. It would
ruin the day. There'd also be a lot of money down the drain. Ku'ene's family would
freak out."

"Yes, but your whole life together is at stake. Marriage is serious."

"Nothing a divorce can't fix. He can just play along for a while," said Isaiah coolly,
"like a lot of other trapped married folks out there."

When this happens, there's a lot of stuff going on inside your head and heart, and no matter what any other person is willing to tell you, you still need to make up your own mind as to what you want to do. It's your life after all, and you'll be dealing with the consequences.

Usually, this moment of truth don't just sneak up on your sorry ass at the last minute. It's been building inside for a while, and maybe you just weren't willing to acknowledge it or want to talk about it.
Will you pull the eject handle, or suck it up, march on, go through with it, and hope of for the best?


It can happen for a few different reasons:

- not sure about this whole marriage thing, and if this is the right person
- something new found out about your prospective partner
- something internally eating away about yourself or your partner, that you hadn't wanted to admit before

A couple short episodes show how dramatic it can get for some folks in said scenario.


Some say, if it doesn't work out, don't be sad, but be mad, and get even.


Two great examples are these like-minded, take-charge gals demonstrating their vengeance in India and Brazil, after their respective, prospective grooms-to-be had the gumption to act on their cold feet, and depth charge the looming nupitals.


So fellas, as a word of warning and take away learning point, if you're going to consider the duck and run on your lovely lady, just remember who you're dealing with. You shoulda known this long before you ever considered marrying her.


Another approach is to lawyer up and sue their sorry ass, as recounted here and per below.


But hey, what does Bob know? He's just some single guy who's been to many weddings all over the place and watched the marriage part unfold thereafter, be it good, bad or ugly, as the case may be.

Maybe it's like funny guy Bill Burr eloquently spells out, and having a think on that whole marriage and longterm relationship thing and what it really means, for your ass, before it's too late. "Careful you must be," as Yoda would say.


Then, once cleared that last hurdle of doubt, you'll hopefully (despite those sobering statistics to the contrary) have a whole lot left to blissfully experience together well into your golden years.


No matter what your position on marriage and longterm relationships, witty insights and truths abound, together with a lot of laughs, in this here crazy-ass, sarcastic debut novel.


Pages: 1234 | Next >