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You go to a few weddings, and as a guy, you wonder why many bridesmaid dresses are so bad, be it the color, the style, or to maximize the effect, knocking off both angles simultaneously. Maybe it’s because the bride needs to ensure she outshines her posse, so she purposely goes out of her way to peg them down a notch or two in the fashion department. But at the end of the day, the bride can be partly judged by how well her girls are dressed as it's a reflection of her taste.

Here’s an attempt at an anatomical breakdown on how to do this right with a few choice suggestions. 


It could well be a true test of a bride's friendship with her gals. Maybe you match the dresses to the drapes, as noted here by yours truly at that 1987 Montreal wedding.

The interior was decorated in rich, soft colors, and the bridesmaids’ dresses were designed to match the room’s peach draperies—or was it vice versa?—per decree by Carole’s mother, Celine. I didn’t ask.

But then you take it to another level altogether beyond just a simple soft color and put some patterns to that curtain play.


Or sometimes, better yet, maybe you have the dresses made from actual drapery material.







There really are a lot of possibilities for getting that special look you covet as the bride for your tightknit troupe on the biggest day of your life. You can certainly just go BOLD with color to make an impact.





The vintage look can also have its appeal as well, amd is a little softer in its approach.




Then there’s that slightly sassy, cheeky look too for shits and giggles in a quick photo opp with your BFFs, even if the rest of your collective attire is otherwise just fine. 



Or maybe you need to fret and fuss for that "furry fringe" look to really take things to an absolutely friggin' fantabulous level. Some $hekel$ must have been spent to get this vibe just right.


A lot of the guys won’t be complaining about the boob overload look though. Breathe deeply for added effect.


In all fairness though, the discriminating fashion choices need not be exclusive to the female side of the equation. The fellas can also go out on a limb with their outfit tastes as well, but it usually doesn't seem to be as extreme as with the ladies, and can be quite subtle.







Then, there are those nuptials where the fashion faux pas equally straddle both sides of the gender divide and aisle, whether it's impromptu, "come as you are" casual, a painstakingly planned theme affair, or looking back in time a few decades for inspiration.







 
There's no need to write much, when the pictures show it way better. This single-guy wedding attendee hasn’t been blessed by any such fashion-forward events as seen here,so maybe he's really missed out on sumpin' in life. 

Bob just be laying out a few fashion options for your benefit and consideration on your big day so everyone looks their best. The possibilities are endless, if you really apply some imagination and creative energy to your wardrobe selections. One need not be limited by budget constraints to make a daring style statement, yet keep it classy. 

 



Unique funny read

This is a very unique and interesting concept, and a book that is exceptionally well written. Boguslavski has a talent to string words together, such that it’s easy and most pleasant reading. His sense of humour is often riotously funny! There’s an incredible attention to detail on many aspects of the setting. The descriptions of food and drink got my complete and total attention….delicious! Having said that, other detailed narratives on items such as wedding party fashion and architecture had much less appeal to me, were a bit much and I wanted to move on. Female readers may well find the bridal fashion angle much more interesting than I did. The inclusion of global current events of the day mixed into the backdrop are thought-provoking and add depth to the overall story. Bottom line … a great book I thoroughly enjoyed.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Lewe77 | August 23, 2014 | Source: Apple iBooks (CA)


 
Subject: Singapore #77 - Sussin' symbiosis
(Posted on Jul 19, 2014 at 12:10PM ) Tags:
Edwin M. Terry, aka Dr. LoveSexy, stated at one point in this wedding chapter, "People fall into three categories—pimps, hos, and hustlers." He was commenting on how the world works, and the people in it. So what was he on about?

One could add "players" to the above mix, as Xzibit did in his rap ditty "What U See Is What U Get" but Dr. LoveSexy was keeping things more basic.



Given this song title, I was reminded of WYSIWYG from the realm of IT, but it's not far off topic. Anyway, back to our line in the book, where Edwin likened his view of people and their positions cum pecking order in the world to be not dissimilar to that of Gary Johnston’s one in Team America: World Police. Gary pours it all out in this classic scene to an audience of global dignitaries. Hey, he's an actor, right, just like Raygun Ronnie (Reagan).




And then after all that, somebody had to add, "The world was a better place when that fine balance between mutualistic and commensal symbiosis was achieved."
So whaddat in plain English?  Mutualism is when both/all species in a relationship benefit, and commensalism being when one benefits, but the other(s) doesn’t (don’t) benefit or get harmed significantly. Now you can ponder that statement a bit more. More general scoop on the symbiosis poop can be found here, for any science-curious types. 



Parasitism was left out of the mix that day, cuz, well, that ain’t making the world a better place, unless you be like, erhm, part of that Illuminati / NWO / Bilderberg crowd and their philosophy. That’s the straight dope on humanity and our world. However, that ball of wax is best left for another time. Just so you know, NWO is NOT to be confused with them infinitely kooler N.W.A. katz.


You can make this stuff about how people are in the world as complicated as need be, depending on your frame of mind and who you’re discussing it with, but at the end of the day, Gary Johnston and Dr. LoveSexy got it down right.

And whaddup with the spelling of "hos" going on here? There’s debate on whether the plural of ho be hos, hoes, or ho’s, per these pieces, here, here, and here. Go figure. No wonder the nightly news ain’t accurate neither. After some discussion and diligence on this spelling matter, with my editor, she agreed and was like, "Yo, bro', hos be best." As a bonus, it’s the shortest too.

Let's also not forget about the classic, family-friendly Holiday "Ho" too. Maybe a little out of season at the height of summer, but retailers are already geared up for it I can assure you. 

This spelling subtopic on hos might conceptually displease some folks. For any complaints that may arise, this single guy traveling our planet for wedding adventures turns to this galactically wise chap here for input and spiritual guidance. 

What was behind the saying, "Trust, but verify," that local Justice of the Peace, Stephen Glenroy Adams, employed on the couple during their tropical island paradise wedding ceremony, when there was pushback on his probing line of questioning.

Our main man Ronald Reagan may have been the one to make it famous in English as the Cold War was slowly coming to a close, but it was actually a Russian proverb, as taught to him by Suzanne Massie. She and he both done good over time with that one it seems.

The original version was a favorite of Vladimir Lenin back in his day, so maybe the two are not that far apart after all. cheeky
It sure sounds way better in Russian, and rhymes to boot. If you really want to be on it and impress folks, you can take a quick lesson in Russian from this rap cat, Roos (2RG), on how to pronounce it properly, "doveryai no proveryai," as this gangsta rap ditty  repeats many a time (like on Teletubbies), just so you get it down right.


Yo, your ass don’t need to be knowing no Russian neither to figure out what be going down here. It ain't rocket science, Corky. 

Today, in an instant fulfillment world where just about anybody can trumpet anything, and it can be rebroadcast  ad infinitum in seconds to become "gospel," it’s just a reminder that sometimes just because something is said , and repeated enough, doesn’t mean it’s necessarily true. That goes especially as it concerns politicians and government, be it at the municipal, state/provincial, and national levels.

And, just like our good friend and drinking buddy, Raygun Ronnie, replied back to his newly minted  BFF, Mikhail Gorbachev, back in the day, I use it a lot, because "I like it."


Simple words to increasingly live by in today’s complicated world, where it’s easier than ever to pull the wool over folks’ eyes, because everyone is too busy and hurried to check the details on stuff, and doesn’t want to spend more than two seconds on anything.

It’s a real practical saying, employable in everyday life, be it at work, play, with friends, enemies, and even at home with your spouse / partner too. If you were a naysayer, you may think it means taking things to the extreme of not really trusting anybody, but that’s up to you as to how far it needs to be taken and interpreted. It always depends on the specific situation at hand and the folks you're dealing with, Bobbolin(o/a).

Still an oldie, but a goodie, even if you're just some single stumblebum dude hitting weddings all around the world. 
Доверяй, но проверяй




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Subject: Tenerife #18 - What's in your glass?
(Posted on Jun 10, 2014 at 10:02AM ) Tags:
Perplexed by that ages-old glass that is half-full versus half-empty conundrum? Decisions, decisions.


It always depends on how you wanna look at stuff, ain’t it? Optimsim and pessimism are just states of mind. Attitude is what counts. 


Just as Dudley Steele scolded Billy Brant and "Student" Grant Lipman pooside at the villa in Tenerife, the day after his bachelor bash dished him a raging hangover, always ask your friendly neighborhood barkeep to pour you another one. Unless your’re getting bad pours, that should usually fix it. 


And if/when the beer runs out, switch to something else.


Whether your thinking runs left, right, middle of the road, or upside down, it doesn't matter. There's always an answer for that too, even if you're a more cerebral science- and math-minded type. 


And as our good friend and drinking buddy, The Most Optimistic Man in the World, always has a pository spin on things, here are a couple of apropos vignettes in light of the World Cup kick-off in just a few days time and another matter of note sure to make a splash in our world at some point down the road. 



Remember, as Bobby Bo likes to always say as a rule in life:

Think Pository = Negatory Suppository

At the end of the day, forget all that pseudo-intellectual philosophical crap, and just shout ¡Uno mas! When the beer runs out, no whine, switch to wine, shots or whatever else may be lying around. It’s all perspective.

And when you tire of this talk of glasses in various states of relative fill, maybe "Think green" and go smoke some weed or sumpin’ for yet another different take.

Subject: Westport #94 - Whaddup with Whiskey vs. Whisky?
(Posted on Jun 4, 2014 at 03:34PM ) Tags:
So what is it all about when you see that word spelled both ways, with or without 'e' in there? Supposedly a logic to it all drives that, but it is not always adhered to it seems. Go figure. Kinda like with a lot of things in the world.

As mentioned in the book, it is dependent on where the drink comes from, but many times, in practice, folks just spell it the way they want, based on what part of the world they are from. This includes writers and copy editors alike. 

First, here’s the Wikpedia skinny of what a whisky / whiskey is, to begin with. As for 'correct' spelling, there seems to have been a rethink on this the last few years though. This fine piece on The Kitchn goes into good detail on the whole matter, and settles on the following rule (going by country of origin, and what is on the bottle label):

- E in country name (e.g., United States / America and Ireland), then spell it whiskey, and the plural as whiskeys.
- No e in country name (e.g., Canada, Scotland, Japan, Australia, Finland, and India), then spell it whisky, and the plural as whiskies.

Note how the dueling plural forms of the word  can further bamboozle folks. Overall though, I  dig this simple rule and it makes complete sense by what it says on the bottle.

But then, Germany, England, and Wales had to come along and $%@* that up and spell it whisky nonetheless with their own products. So much for what makes sense in the world.


When using the term generically, go ahead and write it anyway you want, depending on where you are in the world, and your audience, as long as you are consistent. The venerable NY Times Dining column used to try and do that per here through late 2008, but then seems to have capitulated to the newer thinking here in early 2009. Hey, shit happens. Deal with it and move on is the motto to follow. 

These older chaps below, earlier on, went and messed the spelling up with their rendition of the word as whuskey in song.

Red Ingle and the Natural Seven singing "Cigareetes, Whuskey, and Wild, Wild, Women"  (1948)
The Muppet Show (special guest Peter Sellers), season 2, episode 18, original airing Feb. 25, 1978

Words of wisdom for the ages, unless you want to nail the trifecta, pardon the pun. There are many versions of this song, but the two here were mentioned in the book, in my conversation with Pops di Tomaso and his favorite rendition. There was no debate either back then about whether it was whuskey or whusky. That was for wussies, no doubt.

As for any other countries making the spirit that may or may not adhere to that rule, you can check that out, one by one, on Malt Madness if you have mucho mas time on your hands, and looking for something new to sip on. 

A place like Thailand and its whiskies adhere to the spelling rule, but those tipples are not actually officially deemed a whisky to begin with, per this 2011 Intoxicated Abroad posting and the Wiki definition above. BNB very much digs our main man Matt’s slogan, “Life’s too short to be sober at home.” It’s way better to be some single guy abroad, be it at weddings, or on other (mis)adventures cum vacations.

Like many things in life, best not to think about stuff too much, and just go friggin’ do it. And then, I suppose as long as the bartender knows what to pour, then you are golden. I end this post with a nifty little infographic on whisk(e)y to mull while sippin’ sumpin’ smoooooove.
 

Cheers, and bottoms up, Bobbolin(o/a)!

Subject: Iceland #71 - Pondering Phallological Pursuits
(Posted on May 22, 2014 at 08:47AM ) Tags:
So you’re in Iceland for a wedding, and there’s definitely lots to see and do in country, with not nearly enough time to take it all in, especially if you’re a fan of the great outdoors, natural wonders, flora, and fauna. There are many unique elements to experience, but something cultural to put at the top of everyone's "to do" list here is to check out the Icelandic Phallological Museum.


Yep, you got it.  The place looks like some lair where Lorena Bobbitt would ditch, preserve, and exhibit her treasure trove post Bobbitization spree(s). It’s a spot that would no doubt  give her ex, John Wayne Bobbitt, the creeps, after what he went through at her angry hand (and knife) back on June 23, 1993, a day the lads need to remember. Here's the overview on all that. 

Given our Ecuadorian gal’s inspiration and capably demonstrated experience, she might well qualify as a capable curator in Iceland, although she may prefer the field work angle.

Founded in 1997 by Sigurður Hjartarson, it was originally located in Reykjavik, and then moved to much more remote Húsavík in 2004, but relocated more conveniently back to downtown Reykjavik the last couple years. The museum houses a wide array of that memorable member of mammalian malehood (and related bits and bobs), from the massive, to the medium, and on down to the microscopic. I’d show you the hamster one, but some say it needs a magnifying glass at just 2 mm (or 0.0787402 inches) in length.


For the longest time since opening, the museum was missing one all-important exhibit—that which came straight from mandom. But, happily for all, and complete satisfaction, this glaring omission was resolved and here’s the skinny on it in this insightful trailer for The Final Member.


It doesn’t end there folks, cuz, like, there’s always something bigger and better just around the corner, as all the ladies know. There will one day be forthcoming an even greater donation from the mass of mandom out there, and from Manhattan, no less. So much for everything being bigger in Texas. This recent HuffPo piece speaks to Jonah Falcon’s pledge to give to the cause one day down the road, when he passes on. It will be a good replacement for the current donation there as the piece explains.

At the end of the day, the museum is definitely NOT a typical place on most folks’ tourism itineraries, even if you are some well-traveled single guy hitting weddings all over the world. As they like to say there, “It’s all about dicks.” 


ICELAND, an awesome place that’s on the map for many kool reasons, and getting all studious on things phallological is just one of them. When done there, some of the ladies may get all thirsty for a refreshment.


Photo of enthusiasitc founder Sigurður Hjartarson outside the old Húsavík museum location
 
Pulling no punches deep inside the trenches of global wedding tourism adventures as some single guy.


Subject: Barcelona #62 - Cookin' Cucu in Cugat
(Posted on May 17, 2014 at 02:57PM ) Tags:
So, you find yourself on your way to some outdoor wedding ceremony in Sant Cugat del Vallès outside Barcelona, sitting on a bus (or motor coach if you wanna be fancy pants about it) with other guests. You’re killing some time in your mind, and wondering about the origins of the place, its name, and what was up with all that trying to get rid of some cat called St. Cucuphas way back in the daze of antiquity. The place ended up being named after him (initially, it was Castrum Octavianum) because of what happened next. 

Well, it seems the Roman prefect at the time was going a tad creative with trying to get rid of our man. Judging by the following 3-step process, you’d think like maybe, somebody was going to consume our cat Cucu once he was deemed "ready."

1) Tenderize - Get a dozen soldiers to soften him up by whipping him, and then tear up his skin with nails and scorpions. Inspired
2) Marinate - cover him with vinegar and pepper. Creative kitchen
3) Cook – Roast him alive. Wuz it low 'n slo'? I dunno.
 
But something miraculous seemed to happen, and our man Cucu escapes death and injury per the tale. Hmmm, the prefect has a rethink on things, deciding to have a really BIG bonfire made and burn him up. Ooopsy, next thing you know, something backfires, and his executioners all die in the flames, but Cucu's okay. Righto.

The prefect has him thrown back in his cell, and then softened up some more with iron whips this time around. Presto majesto, said prefect mysteriously went up in flames in his carriage by divine intervention or sumpin' like that. Lesson learned, and his replacement decides to keep things really basic and has our man finally done in the old fashioned way by having his throat slit. See, keeping it straightforward and not trying to get fancy worked just fine in the end.

                                 Painting: The Martyrdom of St. Cucuphas, (Public Domain); Ayne Bru (1504-07 estimated)

And that’s the way it supposedly went down for our man Cucuphas back in AD 304 during the Diocletianic Persecution.

Now, as a take away point, you generally don’t see girlfolk messing around with making things complicated for no good reason. Case in point was these two women deciding to take out a “player” back in March 1881. In this fine recounting, our man Francisco "Chico" Forster, 40, was sleeping around  under the guise of marriage promises when he got his sorry ass caught out in L.A. Here's some more detail on all that.

Our slighted gal, 18 at the time (guess FCF was goin' younger), just popped him straight through the eye with a pistol shot. Ba-Blam! No messing around entertaining more sophisticated torture approaches a la Roman prefect earlier in history per above. 

           Image: Twoons.com | 2009


Then, as a huge bonus, and no doubt benefiting from a crack legal team, our girl Lastania Abarta gets off employing a defense of “female hysteria.

         Artwork: KarynIronSides on Deviant Art

Go figure. Alas, the ladies can no longer plop that ploy away for potential recycling down the road when there is a need to get rid of your man, whether he be cheatin’, or not. Said medical condition was taken off the books as this informative video points out.


All I can say, as some simpleton single chappie out there attending weddings all over the place, is a man gots to stay on his toes. Sometime, reaching deep for knowledge is needed to remedy what ails, just like our man Dr. Swift here below, and the tale of his special treatment for female hysteria. 
 
                                                                   Vintage Ad: Dr. Swift's "Healing" Massage


 
Super Entertaining Read

Bob's adventures in the world of weddings are close to home - for anyone who either is married, been married or contemplating marriage! Beautifully described, with background music to boot, Bob's sometimes offbeat stories, keen wit and fine observations kept me engaged, laughing and sometimes even squirming as I recognized my own experiences in his tellings.

I read the book over a period of time - the stories are individually entertaining and you don't lose the thread as the characters and stories develop. Highly recommended, an easy and entertaining read.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Neville Chamberlain | May 12, 2014 | Source Link: Amazon.CA


Subject: Los Angeles #70 - Monty P meets South Park
(Posted on Feb 8, 2014 at 11:09AM ) Tags:
Put a groom and his “best” man together for a few idle moments early on wedding day when no one else is around within earshot, and what do you get? You get a mashup of Monty Python and South Park, taking two separate pieces and slamming them together to make something better.



Sometimes, 1+1 = 3, especially when you’re taking the best of British and American humor.

Step 1 – Take some elements from this classic “French taunting” scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975). The relevant bit runs between 2:20 and 2:43 but the whole scene works well if you have the time and inclination.


Step 2 – Add a much more animated  (and less subtle) Terrance and Phillip from their potty-mouth ”Unclefпɔʞer” scene in the more current South Park: Bigger Longer & Uncut (1999). The relevant bit starts 0:25 in, but it is ALL top-shelf, classy, high-brow material. 


Step 3 - Combine and stir artfully with some tender loving care, and yowza wowza, you get the end result as exchanged between George Johnson and Bob Boguslavski in their wedding finery before all the action of the day started up on the boat.

What else would some groom do on his wedding day after all when there was nothing else going on? Clearly, we were two sick Canuckistanis messin' around and having some fun, eh?

I think Kenny Dixon Jr. (aka Moodymann) said it best (at 3:50 for a few seconds) in this deep house number called Doin’ Ya Thang by Oliver $  released in April 2011.


Keep it simple folks, with just two categories, as the man said there. It makes for much easier navigation in life, and filtering stuff. Therein lies some real wisdom they will never teach you in skool, even if you’re just some single guy hitting weddings all over the place.



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