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You know it's there, and it will come and bite a man's ass whenever and wherever. So be on guard. Bob's talking about that there female intuition thing. It happens all the time. A guy can't get away with shit.

It's just like at this wedding, when Bob was a young’un back in 1987.

When I finally entered the room, Tanya spotted me, and immediately
came up to me. 


“Where have you been?” she said, arching her eyebrows. “You were
gone awhile.”

“Oh, I just grabbed some air outside, and had a chat with Mitchell.”

“What were you talking about for so long?”

“His, uh…, relationship with Laurie and where it was going, or not.” I said.

“You know, their whole on-again, off-again saga with all that major work
and drama.”

“Aha.” She gave me that all-knowing female look. She knew that I’d been
talking 
about other matters and that likely it related to us. You could never
figure out how they do that.


So just accept it's there, and the sooner your sorry ass understands that, and learns to operate within that paradigm, then the better for your male happiness and well-being in a relationship.

 
Here are a couple pieces on trying to explain it all, How A Woman's Intuition Is The Most Powerful Force There Is and this second piece with Women's intuition is biological: Lower exposure to testosterone in the womb gives females an extra 'sense'.


Our PhD gal, Audrey Nelson, spouts a somewhat sober and serious spiel on it. 
 

She’s correct and clinical in her approach, but it’s a little too intellectual for we simple stupid fellas. So here’s straight up Derrick Jaxn weighing in and also mixing in the "It's about trust" angle, and how it should be for the ladies and their men.


Comedian Billy Sorrells has a good go on this as well. 
 

They even make songs on this. There are many out there. Here’s a throwback 1986 disco soul pop number, from the Dutch side of the pond, with our gals Mai Tai.


It should be noted that this wedding actually happened 30 years back on June 20—a friggin’ long time ago! They’re still together, and we had a good laugh on the phone about it. An early day strategic text message from this side "reminded" hubby bud of their milestone, and saved him some grief no doubt. 

What makes marriage “work” over time (beyond just a few years) was covered off in this prior post on Long-term marriage, but here’s a quick and easy clue to assist with sussin’ shit out.


In the long haul, a guy deffo needs a sense of humor, cuz your sorry ass is gonna take that intuition (and other multi-faceted) punishment coming your way ... every friggin' day!!!! Here’s Billy Sorrells again with a small example of this, and being on the receiving end.


Bob’s digging his defeated “Just let me live, okay” at the close.


If you don’t have enough humor going on in life, or needs an escape from such relationship situations, find solace in this read as our single, quasi-antihero Bob gallivants about hitting weddings worldwide, dodging marriage bullets and trying his best not to let those female powers have full control beyond the 99.9% of the time they already do. 



You’re young and single at some wedding abroad, and things are fine, but then you get the drift that one of the two between bride and groom feels the need to “fix” things by playing matchmaker with your ass and some friend on the other side.

This tactic happens quite a bit as these  two pieces speak to with The 3 Questions To Ask Before You Play Matchmaker At Your Own Wedding and Why Your Wedding Is The Perfect Place To Play Matchmaker.


Sure, the odd blue moon fairytale lottery romance can strike as recounted in 10 Couples Who Met At A Wedding (Really!), but it's far from the norm, so let's go smoke another one, shall we? 


Getting back to Bob’s past situation in London, just before the ceremony, he got his first warning.

Jimmy McCracken sidled up alongside me, with Cory a step behind us. 
“Hey, Bobby, I hear that Bernadette is keen to set you up with her Aussie
friend, Jilli. You should go for it,” he said in his gravelly baritone.

Then in a car on the way to the reception the second warning shot is fired. 

“Bernie told me you are at our table, Bob,” said Tammy, changing the
subject. “And so is Jilli.” She turned her head with a simper to look at
me in the back.

“Sounds like something prearranged” I said warily, looking back at her.

Then, just before the reception meal, you still need to do that there “Trust, but verify” thing, which is ever so important, especially in this day and age with the super bogus crap they spin in "The News" to we sorry brainwashed (m)asses.

I checked the seating plan and made my way to the table. Bernadette
had indeed made sure that Jilli was assigned beside me. The fix was in.
Our round table of eight was an equal mix of friends from both sides.

 

Now, apart from going solo to a wedding to begin with, which has never bothered Bob in the least, it does seem to freak many a folk out, which is understandable.

For some, it's the pressure of being there alone to be harangued and harassed by friends and family on why you aren't settled down and married off yet. Or it could be about being in a big crowd and not knowing many (or sometimes even, anyone, apart from one of the wedding couple) there. Age, life (in)experience and personal insecurities also play a factor with one's level of (dis)comfort. It's all about attitude!


At this particular wedding just outside London back in ’91, Bob was kool with all of this, since his ass wasn’t even yet 30, and he's always been pretty relaxed about most shit out there. 

Others over the 30-year-old watershed seem to disagree, as outlined here from differing perspectives in The Minefield of Being Single at a Wedding,  Going To A Wedding Alone Doesn\t Have To Suck, and closing with This Is What I Learned from Going to Seven Weddings Alone.

Really, it all boils down to your mindset and eagerness, as our effervescent and enthusiastic gal recounts with Brtish aplomb in 21 easy breezy steps. 


More stuff happens in these solo situations as one gets older and crossing major life milestones, but let’s cover that shit off another time.

Going solo certainly opens the door for a wedding hookup. Everyone's relatively pre-vetted already, unless some uninvited individual(s) manage to surreptitiously grace the event. 


These two pieces elaborate further in When You're Single at a Wedding, It's ALL About Finding a Hot Hookup and the aftermath with What Really Happens After a Wedding Hookup. But hey, there ain't no real rules here. Make 'em up as you go along, depending on the situation. 
 

So, if your solo ass does indeed get lucky, here’s a handy dandy piece with suggestions on the 7 Best Places for a Discrete Wedding Reception Hookup. It's all about situational awareness in situ. 


If the intended romantic pairing strategy doesn't work out as preordained, and even if there’s no hookup action whatsoever, don't despair. Kick back, relax and enjoy yourself with another alco-pop and dancing, as this energetic and passionate guest displays with gusto. 


If you don't possess that there type A personality and gumption to make things happen on your own as above, chances are a there’s always the wild-card, anything-is-possible factor where other random mofos spontaneously take the event in new directions for you to behold firsthand. 
 

Ahh, such wedding memories will last a lifetime, even if those marriages don't quite make it nearly as long. 

If anyone is interested in knowing what transpired in London with Bob that night, and many other follow-on exotic events, tuck into his debut novel covering off some single guy’s worldwi(d/s)e wedding (mis)adventures. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.






Subject: Brands and altered reality
(Posted on Jun 12, 2016 at 01:21PM ) Tags:
Throughout the book, a bunch of brands and product placement references have been sprinkled about, but many are not spelled correctly. Bob does know how to spell, most of the time (depending on the language), and it's done on porpoise here for effect. 

Here are a bunch of examples pulled from the novel: 

- Kokee Kola

 
- Appfull and its iconic iPot  device (it plays tunage people, and is not a vaporizer for weed)

- Totoya
the vehicle brand highly favored by insurgents, terrorists, freedom fighters and revolutionaries worldwide

- iFone
another product by our good friends and drinking buddies at Appfull




- McDonnell's, the best hangover food ever per some, and occasonally referred to as "Ralphin’ Ronnie’s" by others

 
Yes, it does really exist, per here. A discussion on this matter of their past “Don’t be evil” mantra merits separate coverage another time.


- WinWoes 98, and an oblique mention of “the hegemony of Redmond”

- Fizper, a big pharma outfit, and one of its lesser known "vascular" products called CadavERect

- Ballihurton, an evil-ass, global, oil field services corporation

- Glumberscher, another global oil field services giant, where Bob's ass actually worked decades back for a couple years (hence not calling it evil-ass)

Many other brands do remain the same as we know them in this reality, mostly good things like booze (be it beer, wine, bubbly, sake, whisky vs whiskey), cigars, watches, and other items. At other times, Bob decided to keep an actual name in play for clarity, as with say AT&T, regarding a certain building in Manhattan, deemed to be a good sanctuary from marauding zombies, discussed here

This altered reality also applies to the treatment of some purely fictional character mentions as well, for reasons of satire and parody.

- Dom Cruz, some actor cat celebrity

- Will Klintun, sage of Arkansas, former US President, and scholarly spinmeister regarding the meaning of the word “is

- Rick Chany, evil-ass politician and businessman, who used to run above mentioned, evil-ass oil services corporation

- Nat Bukannan, a US paleocon political pundit

- Will O. Wiley, some imaginary Fox News talking head 

- Anne Coalturd, following on the above folks in similar vein

- Lush Limbaw, radio talk show jock and political commentator 
 

So what gives with all that? Hey, it’s Bob’s book, and the world he experiences is mostly like the one we know, but certain things have been altered.

It may have been presciently planned on his part, but there seems to be a tie-in to real changes similarly going on today right in front of our eyes. Many brands / products, media (e.g., books, movies, TV shows, music), titles, names, symbols, events and other references have all mysteriously seemingly subtly changed.


 
Look into something called the Mandela Effect and do some digging. No, you’re not losing your mind and memory. But don’t take Bob’s word for it.  A starter summary on the topic, if you’re interested, and not asleep at the switch, is below. More on this forum here too. 

 

As with all, do your own investigation and research to draw your own conclusions. What do you remember from your own experience?



If the Mandela Effect is a bit much for you to fathom or drives you bonkers, alternatively dive into this read for an escape from this reality (and all others) for shits and giggles, as some single cat travels the world attending weddings and gets into all kinds of situations and encounters. 




On a great stag night two days before the wedding, Bob was out with groom Dudley Steele and another dozen buddies from England, Spain, the Netherlands and Germany in Puerto de la Cruz on Tenerife's north side. Rounds of warm-up beers were followed by dinner at an Indian restaurant, where "somebody" decided it might be interesting to see how much heat could be put out there in one dish.

When the owner came to me, I turned to him. “Some of the lads are from England, and
like their food very spicy, sir. Not Spanish, white man, or even English vindaloo spicy.
Please make it extra
Indian spicy. I used to live in India. You know what I mean. Do your
best, please.” I laid down the gauntlet in challenge to his piquancy prowess.

“I make extra very special for you, sir,” he replied, smiling, and with a knowing gleam
in his eyes.

                                                                              ***

Our appetizers arrived. We were hit by the pungent wave of heat and spice wafting from
the one dish given extra attention. The owner beamed as he placed the plate in front of
me on the table. I knew from a distance, without a taste that he had risen to the challenge,
and then some.

Before us was a plate with half a dozen peppers stuffed with a selection of ground chilies,
unidentifiable little 
lumpy bits, and white clumps of some sort of cheese-looking substance.
Death peppers deluxe!

“Right, then,” said Roddy fearlessly. “I can handle it. Let’s do it together. No excuses, or
a bollocking.” Dudley, Mr. P, Roddy, and I each took a pepper confidently in hand.

“Remember lads, if it’s too hot, take some of the raita.” I pointed to the bowl on the table
beside the pepper plate. “No water. Or anything else. It will only make it worse.”

The four of us each popped one in our mouths and bit down. Like a shot, Roddy reached
for the raita bowl, and downed a healthy swig straight from the bowl, bypassing the spoon.
Serious stuff.  Mr. P’s face froze in horror. His jaw unhinged as he spat out mangled morsels
of pepper onto the plate. He turned red and his eyes teared.

My mouth exploded in a firebomb, with intensity I hadn’t experienced since I’d left India
three years ago. I could tolerate it though. I warmed up and felt sweat developing on my
brow.

“Jesus fuckin’ H. Christ, Bogus,” snarled Dudley, after he swallowed two spoons of raita
in rapid succession. He likely wanted to add more scolding, but couldn’t. Mr. P followed
and did the same, silent in his suffering, but his watery eyes clearly revealed his state.

“Bobby Bo was merely providing the opportunity for those that wanted an amped up
appie adventure,” I said.

“Right fuckin’ cunt you are,” retorted Roddy.

“You asked for it, mate,” I said calmly.
Innocent.

A few were clearly unhappy with this initial part of  our dining experience, and a bit miffed at Bob, despite their professing being tough guys in the HOT 'n SPICY department.

So, just what exactly had gone down here? We had very likely just been “ghost peppered” in that dish. On the Scoville scale of measuring the “bring the heat” factor, the Indian Ghost Pepper, or bhut jolokia (and a few other names), is way up there at the top.


Until 2013, that puppy was reputed to be the spiciest pepper out there. It has since been surpassed by the Carolina Reaper, and for a time by the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion and related derivative Butch T.

But hey, don’t take this pundit’s word for how hot these things are. Here's a nice intro from someone in the trade with some good narrative and background information.



Here are a few more folks that tried, and who wanted to share their experience. Pop one of these suckers in your mouth, and watch the mirth and mayhem unfold.


Our next hero contestant, RapidResponseKing (aka Tedy), needs to be admired for aiming to take in several in rapid succession. 
 

Our full-of-energy gal, GloZell Green, wasn't yet hip to things like water and soda NOT being a good idea here to fight the fire, even when she was munching on a lower intensity habanero


When stuff goes sideways on you here, know ito have some dairy around (e.g., milk, yoghurt, sour cream, raita or other fine things of that ilk.) to help douse the flames.

And sometimes, Momma knows best, as in “Just don’t do it!” We had to get a mention in there of her, what with Mother’s Day going down tomorrow.


Even if U a hottie, your sorry state won’t get spared when it comes time to bring the heat and take your ass down (as Bob likes to say), "faster than a piñata at Carlos Slim Helu’s surprise 50th birthday party."



And then, at the very end of this transforming culinary experience, after your having received that consumng warm embrace on the inbound path, one might find that gift of pure joy getting recycled through the outbound, backdoor end. So brace, and beware, Bobbolin(o/a)s. 


But hey, it’s all just like the tagline points out, on this bag below, as taken from Bob’s own pantry. 



Things like this, they ain’t be teaching your ass in school. That’s why Bob hits weddings across the world, where one can find oneself in all kinds of crazy situations and funny encounters in exotic locations. As some single cat traveling between continents, you pick up a few things along the way. And you can read all about it here, since life's too short for boring reads.