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We’ve all heard those stories of "cold feet" in the days, weeks or months before the wedding, and even on the day itself. A few of us may have even witnessed it first hand with friends, family, guided someone close through it, or experienced it personally. 


As was the case at a friend’s 2001 spring wedding in Hawaii, our groom to be, Lamont Lewis, was thinking about what lay ahead, just hours before the ceremony, hanging out in his suite with Bob and his best man, Isaiah Washington. Shit don’t get more real than that, as the minutes tick down to ceremony kick-off.

“I don’t know if I’m making the correct decision here,” Lamont said with some
weariness. “I’d call the wedding off, right now if I had more guts. But I don’t. So,
I’ll just go through with it and get a divorce later.”

“Wow, that’s heavy,” I said, “and you’re just realizing it right at this very moment?”

“Well, it’s been building for a while. But I can’t call it off. Everyone’s here. It would
ruin the day. There’d also be a lot of money down the drain. Ku’ene’s family would
freak out.”

“Yes, but your whole life together is at stake. Marriage is serious.”

“Nothing a divorce can’t fix. He can just play along for a while,” said Isaiah coolly,
“like a lot of other trapped married folks out there.”

When this happens, there’s a lot of stuff going on inside your head and heart, and no matter what any other person is willing to tell you, you still need to make up your own mind as to what you want to do. It’s your life after all, and you’ll be dealing with the consequences.

Usually, this moment of truth don’t just sneak up on your sorry ass at the last minute. It’s been building inside for a while, and maybe you just weren’t willing to acknowledge it or want to talk about it.
Will you pull the eject handle, or suck it up, march on, go through with it, and hope of for the best?
 

It can happen for a few different reasons:

-   not sure about this whole marriage thing, and if this is the right person
-   something new found out about your prospective partner
-   something internally eating away about yourself or your partner, that you hadn’t wanted to admit before

A couple short episodes show how dramatic it can get for some folks in said scenario. 



Some say, if it doesn’t work out, don’t be sad, but be mad, and get even. 


Two great examples are these like-minded, take-charge gals demonstrating their vengeance in India and Brazil, after their respective, prospective grooms-to-be had the gumption to act on their cold feet, and depth charge the looming nupitals.

So fellas, as a word of warning and take away learning point, if you're going to consider the duck and run on your lovely lady, just remember who you're dealing with. You shoulda known this long before you ever considered marrying her.


Another approach is to lawyer up and sue their sorry ass, as recounted here and per below. 


But hey, what does Bob know? He’s just some single guy who’s been to many weddings all over the place and watched the marriage part unfold thereafter, be it good, bad or ugly, as the case may be.

Maybe it’s like funny guy Bill Burr eloquently spells out, and having a think on that whole marriage and longterm relationship thing and what it really means, for your ass, before it’s too late. "Careful you must be," as Yoda would say. 


Then, once cleared that  last hurdle of doubt, you'll hopefully (despite those sobering statistics to the contrary) have a whole lot left to blissfully experience together well into your golden years. 



No matter what your position on marriage and longterm relationships, witty insights and truths abound, together with a lot of laughs, in this here crazy-ass, sarcastic debut novel.


When Bob was down Mexico way years back and sitting around the pool killing time before a wedding, between arguments with his then girlfriend, he was pondering the following, all the while gandering at her.

She took proud pleasure, whenever asked, in confirming that they were not bolt-on
bazookas. As with car configurations, I tended to agree that OEM, straight 
off the 
assembly line, was best, albeit with certain de rigueur manufacturer installed 
options.
 
Adding aftermarket parts denigrated total package value and complicated maintenance
on a long-term basis. Once you started visiting the likes of Manny, Moe, and Jack at Pep Boys
it could be hard to stop tweaking and fussing over "improvements" in a slippery-slope spiral.
 

Bob draws on this automotive analogy, as applied to people parts, to illustrate his point.

One can do these modifications (mods, for short) well, or ... poorly. You choose. It’s all just a little consideration, or not, as the case may be. If you're going to go down this road, pardon the pun, doing things properly is the way to go, whatever your ride may be. 


Seeking competent professional help may well be better than a being a passionate, yet probably inept, first-time DIYer. And then, if you decide to press on yourself regardless, with things gone bad, that may breed a future cascade of additional corrective actions, and ongoing issues ever after. Here are a few to consider. 


Some of the ones above are definitely a little more creative / artistic than others, making up for any budgetary constraints with sheer chutzpah. But, even if your wallet’s thick and you can throw mucho $$$ at the task, getting things done purrfessionally [sic] and all, you still may not get the desired "organic"and "tasteful" end result. But like with many things, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and ultimately, the one with the check book. 


Back around the time of the wedding in the mid 90s, the range of going aftermarket with one’s body (i.e., plastic surgery), was mostly confined to the aforementioned bolt-on (boobies), nose jobs and other facial plastic surgery.  The field actually goes back to ancient civilizations and its earliest methods.


This link has a nice overview for those with a more historical interest in all this. 

Sure, there's a bonafide need for this whole area of medical practice, for those that really need it for serious reasons. Where the more amorphous judgment call falls is when folks opt for it, based on insecurity, and low self-esteem. No doubt, a lot of that also has to do with the “ideal” human imagery as constantly portrayed in and perpetrated by the media. 

Fast forward a couple of decades from the wedding, and there are a whole range of improved procedures and enhancements that can be had today. Here’s a good list from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery. Try one … try them all, over time. Be the first kid on your tony block to tick them all off the list. It’s all gone way deeper and wider now than Charles Dick’s classic, A Tale of Two Titties.

Today, it’s not just about slicing and dicing, but there are also interesting injectables for those that wish to avail of the miracles of modern medical science to look and feel their youthful best. Some are deemed less invasive than others, and cost less $$$, but still can have some known (and unknown) long-term, undesired results to keep things interesting and with an ever--evolving look.

Bob will let all y’all decide for yourself what looks good, based on a few extreme examples.



And remember, apart from the odd DIYers that took things into their own hands to cut corners and save some do$h, most of these "improved" looks below were done by those who knew the trade, and were well paid for their skills.


If all those follies aren't enough to make one pause a bit on all this, here’s a litle more on Monique Allen's cautionary tale to draw upon. 


Yikes, after that parade, it makes one think about the risks versus benefits of these aftermarket aesthetic enhancements.

Your ass is much better off plunking down way fewer dollars and dive into a copy of this quixotic, funny, off-the-wall tale about some single guy traveling the world over to exotic weddings.



In 2010 when Bob was getting his first draft of the book together, he put many of the chapters (or weddings) up on Authonomy, for other authors in the community to take a look at and comment on. From several dozen posts up on that website by those on the same creative crusade across multiple genres and styles, here's a fractional selection of opinions and thoughts culled from over a two year period.


"This is so damn funny it's untrue, I had tears streaming down my face, bloody good job I chose to go without mascara today!! If anyone doesn't think this is a good read, send them to me and I'll sort them out for you! "   (Jun. '10)
- Mel A. Comley, Impeding Justice  [NY Times and USA Today Best Selling Author]
 
***
"An excellent, funny and engaging piece of work, perfectly described. You really bring a clear picture of your setting to the reader's mind, but it's more than that. You furnish these setting with fabulous characters and stunning humour."     (Jun. '10)
- Abi B. Knight (aka Grace Bertram), Relic
 
***
"You have an original voice, hard to turn away because it rolls along like a freight train. Great imagery, wonderful word usage and punchy dialogue. I love the outline of this, Bobby Bo's adventures and impressions as he hops from wedding to wedding.

One of the fresher voices I've read in a long time. I was at the end of the third chapter before I knew what happened. I found this engaging and interesting. Your prose is excellent ... moves right along with punchy word choice and it's never, never boring. Little bits of wisdom interspersed. Interesting characters. I'm intrigued with the use of music. 

In short ... loved this. It's very engaging, very well-written."     (Jul. '10 / Jan. '11 combined)

***
"Brilliant!!! Brilliant story, brilliant humour, brilliant structure and absolutely fantastic characterisation. Very, very good read!"     (Jul. '10)
- Ian Peter Lavan, Blood and Smierlight

***
"This is hilarious! There is no choice but to back it!"     (Jul. '10)
- Amy J. Bates, Love Match

***
"Like a sophisticated rap poem, the words come in a rhythm from some steady source of humorous observations. A celebration of endearing characters, I think even nasty ones would come over as endearing. Loved Baba and wanted to know more of her."     (Jul. '10)
- Pia (aka Ashen Venema), Course of Mirrors

***
"Original and very funny. This crosses many genres and should appeal to many as it has huge potential. Well done."     (Aug. '10)

***
"It's a cracker! Excellent premise - wish I'd thought of it - and sophisticated writing throughout."     (Sep. '10)
- Lara (aka Rosalind Minett)

***
"Hysterical humor. Worldly wisdom. Fresh. Bold. Original. Endearing characters. Crisp dialogue. Lyrical narrative. Thought-provoking theme. Top notch writing. A captivating read."     (Oct. '10)
- Carolina Al (aka Alan Chaput), Savannah Series (Southern suspense)

***
"You've got an easy, almost conversational style, talking to the reader as if we're there with you at one of the weddings. Your Prologue set the scene. We learnt about you, touched upon the subject of marriage (via Lulu's wisdom!) and travel (via sorting boxes for delivery around Canada.) Written down like that, it doesn't sound much, but in your hands it was full of fun and good humour. I can see that you could make anything interesting because you notice small things about people and situations that others usually miss.

Then we begin travelling to the weddings. The characters feel real and the combination of music (revealing a lot about the place, date and the personalities of the couples) the range of countries and the conversations of guests made each wedding very different and memorable. Along the way the narrator's own situation changes. You start as an electrical engineering student but by the end, you're planning a book on weddings.

From the first wedding and the horror of Tanya's sudden interest in marriage, there's important lessons to be learnt. Things like: don't take a girl friend to a wedding and it's best for the nerves if you prepares a speech a little earlier than a few minutes before speech is due. Then of course there's the deeper advice about marriage itself, from the likes of Lulu, Pops, Vijay and Kenneth. Very funny, very engaging and it makes good sense.

Bobby Bo is a great friend and a good listener to a whole range of conversations. There's talk about the economic state of Montreal after the 1976 Olympics, the Iraq war, Turkey's place in the E.U, agriculture, Britain's part in the Middle East situation, the benefit of tattoos, the win-win benefits of hedge fund banking, the global economy and the uncontrollable spending habits of materialistic wives! Plus a good many more diverse subjects, all dealt with in an amusing and entertaining tone that helps us learn more about the characters and also the narrator.

Humorous but wise and ultimately optimistic, this is a lovely book."     (Jul. '10)

***
"Excellent and what a romp! Like the male version of Eat, Pray, Love only better."     (Jul. '10)
- lizjmm (aka Liz Hoban)The Cheech Room / The Secrets That Save Us

***
"This is my kind of book. Books don't get any better than this. How did I miss it? The title, the pitch and the beginning "This is a work of f(r)iction..." Gave this book six stars ... I wanna buy it."     (Jan. '11)
- A. Zoomer (aka Patricia L. Morris), Going Out In Style

***
"Great concept, and wonderfully executed. You're a terrific narrator, and you draw the reader in instantly. I want to go to every single wedding. They're such a novel and quirky way to get to know a culture - or in some cases, how cultures might clash.  I loved some of your images - pressed-panini dead animal comes to mind."     (Jul. '11)

***
"Oh good, I do love it when a book is so tightly put together and so well written that I don't have anything to offer in the way of constructive criticism.

For me, the best travel writing gives us a sense of place but doesn't get too distracted by that. A country is after all only as interesting as the people you encounter there so the best in travel writing has always been that which produces great character sketches for me. And this certainly has that in abundance. I knew I was in good hands from the very off as I got these great pieces of characterisation of Lulu and the narrator in the first chapter and Baba at the start of the second. Throughout, we meet different characters at the various weddings and they are sketched with equal skill and humour.

Humour is another fantastic aspect here. There are laugh out loud moments throughout. I loved the intros to each chapter, giving us a sense of each wedding before we even got there. It also gives a great sense of continuity throughout. The writing itself is tight and humour packed with great turns of phrase and observations throughout. Excellent, excellent."     (Aug. '11)
- RossClark1981, We Are Alive

***
"Wonderfully written and the dialogue is perfect, how clever!! Young, dumb and full of cum! LOL. Brilliant read. Beautifully written and so funny."     (Jan. '12)
- Cathy Hardy

***
"The multiple themes which drive this novel make for a very worthwhile read for anyone keen on humour mixed in with poignant biography, and a travelogue that would challenge Alan Whicker for miles traveled supremacy. Most people can point to low points or disasters in their life, but all pales before the trials and tribulations of poor Booby Bo, who seems to attract life's downsides in spite of all the efforts he puts into making his relationships a success. Well crafted and delivered with verve. High stars."     (Feb. '12)
- Software (aka Clive Radford), Doghouse Blues

***
"What an interesting book! The pitch doesn't do it justice -- most especially in that it fails to relate what I think is your greatest strength, which is your artistry with description and dialog. Highly imaginative use of language, articulate and drily humorous."     (Sep. '12)


Alas, it looks like the Authonomy website will be going dark for good come September 30, 2015 as detailed in this piece from The Guardian. That community and forum for authors will soon be no more, but Wedding Chronicles is certainly going to remain available.
 

Bob certainly valued the platform as a testing ground for what became the completed first novel in this eventual trilogy about some single guy traveling the world for fun and adventure at exotic weddings. 


 
This is absolutely hilarious, and a very different book from any other. You won’t stop laughing out loud and being surprised by the intelligent and fresh humour throughout. If you’re looking for comedic escape delivered with insight into relationships, cultures, and political issues against a global wedding backdrop, this read is a must.

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: Jose Garcia | October 25, 2013 | Source Link: Goodreads

Subject: Barcelona #62 - Of cava, crowns, and craniums
(Posted on May 24, 2015 at 01:14PM ) Tags:
At an early May 2002 wedding in Catalonia, cava naturally featured on the drinks list right after the ceremony as the celebratory bubbles of choice.

With so many great regional selections, Bob was more than pleased to see the couple had picked Segura Viudas Reserva Heredad, not only because it’s a great one (one of his faves)  but also because the bottle has such a distinctive and regal look.



As a major bonus, the bottle is also heavy and very solid. Good for a few things it seems. As taken right from the chapter…

We washed it all down with flutes of Segura Viudas Reserva Heredad. Empty,
the distinctive green cava bottle with its pewter base could be repurposed as
a candle holder.

This hefty bottle could also come in handy for homebound hullabaloo: I
imaginated some chikita banana making a definitive debate-ending point
about sumpin’ or other by crowning her man’s cranium.
OK, maybe twice,
since some hubbies have a really hard head.

Bob reckons the metal base and its sharp edge would do a bang-up job, and provide extra strength against breakage if a woman really wanted to do her man in. Talk about perfect product placement at work here. One reckons the Segura Viudas folks would be more than proud to know their class product doubles down as the drink and instrument of choice (more than adequate for the task)  for settling domestic discontent that has reached a critical point. 

Ladies, best to celebrate the occasion and drink it all down first with your guy, before the devilish deed, so as not to risk wasting any of the beautful beverage. It will help settle the nerves, and take the edge off. Nothing like a little liquid courage to help things along. And a couple glasses might make it all hurt a little less on your guy's receiving end as well.

As with many things in life though, you gotta walk before you run. "Practice makes perfect," as the old adage goes. Start small, practicing on oneself, working one’s way up from beer bottles to wine bottles, just so it is all done right.  A few guiding technique tips to be gleaned below watching these folks with various degrees of expertise and knowledge making their attempts. Some get it, and some don’t.




With beer mastered, you work your way up to wine.


Bob's always generally amazed as to what a little alcohol intake combined with some spare time can result in—human creativity and ingenuity at its finest. The possibilities are almost endless if we really put our heads to it.

These are indeed the kind of pleasant thoughts, simple solutions and worldly insights running through Bob’s mind as he roams the world to far flung places attending weddings as some single guy. Cheers to your health (and to your head, for the fellas)!

Subject: Montreal #12 - 80s hair and other things
(Posted on Apr 26, 2015 at 04:47PM ) Tags:
So your young, dumb ass is 21, having fun, and "best" man at some friend’s wedding in 1987. 

Hey, it HAD to be a great year, just because that’s when The Simpsons first came into being, as episodic shorts on The Tracey Ullman Show. And a game-changing tune (stitching together an impressive array of song samples), Pump Up The Volume by one-off UK outfit, M|A|R|R|S, broke out big.


Beyond music. the 80s had a lot of stuff going on, with memorable (if not always classy) developments in fashion, cars, entertainment, lifestyle, and culture.

And this is not factoring in all the serious (and arguably more important) geopolitical events and disasters that otherwise framed the decade (e.g. Iran-Iraq War, Falkands (Malvinas) WarBhopal, famine in Ethiopia, Space Shuttle ChallengerChernobyl, Ronnie Raygun and the other Star Wars, Black Monday, and fall of the Berlin Wall). 





This link lists several 80s websites to revisit that decade, or yield insight into what was going on if you weren’t yet around (or were way too young to remember).

One of the 80s things that stuck out, pardon the pun, was the hair. It was BIG!

And it wasn’t necessarily the preserve of the better, smarter sex either, as the guys also dove in eagerly. There were many ways to wear it, be it frizzy, sporting a mullet, Jheri curls, flattop, spikes, half-fro, or rattail.




 
Yo, they weren’t called "hair bands" for nothing, and having it bigger and better than your competition was de rigueur.


Which brings Bob back to the scene in the book on this very topic.

The trio of bridesmaids sported 80s’ signature big-hair, achieved with lots of layering,
mousse, and curling iron action, and finished off with heavy blasts of hairspray.

That didn’t come naturally after rolling casually out of bed in the morning, and it spawned a whole industry of products like colored mousse and Bold Hold hairspray to help meet demand.  

Here’s a montage of exemplary 80s hairstyles.


To compete with all this new energy up top, fashion had its own complementary evolution and flair as well.


Some folks went with a decidedly cleaner, minimalist look. Keeping it simple was another statement, as our Oirish singer explains here and her reasoning therein back in the day as she shot to fame. Think of all the time and €xpen$e saved as a bonus.


Imagine if all of us were like that … about everything,  from our clothes, to our food, be it by choice or not, as this 1985 ad toys with.
 

It’s one of Bob’s all-time advertising faves from that decade. Hey, it’s about food, ties to his Eastern bloc heritage, and good old days of the USSR and Iron Curtain. Plus, the ladies remind him of his grandmothers (or Babas).

There was a lot happening on that particular day at the wedding, but the hair still strikes a chord. Decades later, there's no desire to relive that youthful period though, apart from the memories, until Alzheimer's sets in, one gets hit by a bus, or abducted by aliens to make it all irrelevant.

Better to forge new experiences and attend more weddings around the world. As the ad may have foretold with its authoritative delivery and definitive accent, "Is next … rest of life. Very nice."



Five Stars

Engrossing!

Rating: 5 / 5 *

Original Posting: DNYC | February 21, 2015 | Source Link: Amazon.com
I did win Wedding Chronicles from the author, therefore I read it for free, however i do think the book is well written, like it is quite interesting and as a reader i did quite feel like i was a part of Bobby's journey.

But i did feel like despite the wit and humor of the character some parts of the book were dragged out unnecessary making the book seem longer.

This was different read from a lot of the other books i read and i enjoyed the change. I would definitely recommend Wedding Chronicles to most of my friends if they were looking for a light hearted read.

Rating: 4 / 5 *

Original Posting: Swarleen Oberai | September 20, 2014 | Source Link: Goodreads
Subject: Iceland #71 - Olfactory offense
(Posted on Dec 29, 2014 at 03:18PM ) Tags:
After an overnight flight, you’re in a car for a couple hours in remote Iceland on your way to a wedding at the end of August 2003, when suddenly … you’re attacked by Dr. LoveSexy from his perch in the passenger seat.

 
The Dr. looked at me, paused for a moment of cerebral reflection, sniffed, and
turned his upper torso toward the door. “Monopoly this.” He loudly expunged a
wet-sounding anal burp that reverberated with a slow and sloppy staccato.

His anal elocution was not to be confused with anal electrocution, which was 
an altogether different experience, although the latter could feasibly stimulate
the former. Both prove the maxim “it is better to give than to receive.” 

Eeeew. This was the real deal.  Noxious fumes hung in the air, unlike my 
Terrance and Philip jest with George Johnson two weeks ago.

Edwin may well have left behind a brown racing stripe inside his skivvies with
this one. “Beavis-cum-Cornholio, ‘your bunghole just went
ra ka ka ka. You may
need TP for your bunghole,’” I said, trying not to breathe. “That was some crazy

bum cum hum.” I labeled it so from a sonic perspective, being inclined to
sporadically spawn such silly Seussisms.

He completely had me. I was not equipped at this very second to fire a volley
in reprisal.  
The war was over with one shot, and you were dead. Jar that up in
mass quantity, and one had credible replacements for those problematic
missing Weapons of (M)Ass Destruction not yet found in Iraq.

Hey, shit happens. Whether you call it farting, tooting, anal burping, queefing, or anything else, you need to deal with it. Want to expand your vocabulary on the matter? Here’s a good HuffPo piece with 150 terms and Fart Names additionally describes them by type and adds other euphemisms to the mix.

The skinny on the buried Beavis-cum-Cornholio references (as taken from that classic Beavis and Butt-head series on MTV)  and that sound bite from the book above are seen in these two clips below.



Bob digs deep on all the things that really matter, even if he's just some single guy skipping merrily off to weddings all around the world.

Humans do it--men and women both, so don’t let the prettier, better and oft-smarter sex tell you they don’t play in this space.



This scene from Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle clearly demonstrates this capability. Hey, it must be true if it’s in a movie, after all.


Female "bottom burps" may even pack more punch than their male-generated counterparts per here and here. Note that it appears some people actually specialize in this area of study—go figure! From a science perspective, here’s a great little video that talks about everything you wanted to know about flatulence, and then some more. Impress friend, family, and foe alike (although sometimes these category labels can overlap) with these new-found kernels of knowledge.


Other animals do it too, and here’s a Top 10 list on it. The Fart Facts lists a bunch of great informaton on the matter. All the scoop on the poop, so to speak, pardon the pun. Here’s yet another piece from The Guardian newspaper that speaks to the medicinal powers of those petite puffs of personal perfumed pleasure.

As with many things out there in the world that one can ingest or experience, a little bit is just fine, but you can also be in danger if exposed to too much. Talk about WMD, or in this case per below, WAD, may be the more apropos tag.


This is the vaunted "blue angel" experience, which is not to be confused with the Blue Angels, unless the latter be doing the former while flying in formation, which would be kinda kool, one supposes.


To close off today's topic of global significance, here’s a "fartastic" festival of some serious auditory anal action going down and complied from one of Bob’s favorite shows.


In keeping with the spirit of the season, Happy Holidaze (Holz) Y’all, or HaHoY’a, in concatenated short form. Don’t feel shy to “Honk your horn.”

Sometimes in life, you have these encounters that affect you profoundly—things to be remembered forever. One such one for Bob was way back in the day when he was a teenager and got a very unique and powerful spin on long-term marriage from some life-wi(s/z)ened, gray-haired, French Canadian cat called Lulu he worked with. When hardcore life experience got dished out by him, you know it was real—the kind of stuff you could never make up yourself unless you’ve been through it. To this day, it gives Bob something to think about. But before we get to that nugget of conciousness, let's lay out some basic groundwork in preparation thereof. 

There’s generally a lot of stuff out there on the topic of marriage and how it needs to be done and managed over time as the years and decades go by together in harmony and happiness. Righto. 


Gary Busey had a thought on it. He was married the first time for about 22 years, 4 years the second time, and probably had a few other relationships to form the basis of his wisdom on this topic.

Now, by pure coink-e-dink, Bob has the same birthday as our marriage-opining actor. Whether or not you believe this is a good thing re shared birthday, and any personality comparison therein, just keep in mind that Gary was out riding his Harley without a helmet back in December 1988, when he hit his head real hard on the curb after being thrown off his machine. D’oh! More details on that serious mishap here and here. Unfortunately, things weren’t the same for him thereafter. It wasn’t long after that he got divorced in 1990. So maybe one wonders if he started to see marriage in a completely different light after all those years, or the accident introduced some clarity on the matter.

One all-important element in the vast majority of long-term marriages that keeps cropping up is one of Kom-mUn-E-Kay-shun [sic] and (starting to try) understanding your significant other.


N.B. Before reading any / all below, be aware Bob did some digging online for equally-dishing stuff from the ladies as regards their men in marriage, but, alas, after a few hours of watching / listening, the stuff he found was either NOT funny, WAY too long and ramblng (like, Hello?!), or was just not edited right at others' hands ... so he just moved on. Ping his ass, and he can send you what he found to prove his point. 

Jeff Allen has some good advice in this area. This is very important to your wife, so pay attention, fellas. 


If this area of focus is a problem for some of the guys out there, there is a "pharma" fix to help quickly boost personal capability in this department.



If popping pills isn’t your thing, there is always the high technology approach to save the day. Plus, this second solution works both ways to help your wife also understand what's being said by you in her direction. 


Another facet in the mix over time is that married life kinda falls into a routine, especially once the kiddies arrive to change the playing field up even more. 


This long-time married cat, Walter (The Old Grumpy Man), has it down pat as well, just like Lulu did. He is steered ably at the hands (and mouth) of Jeff Dunham.



Tim Hawkins, Bob Smiley, and John Branyan have a go on a few of the little things one learns along the way. A few snippets from their 2011 Rock Show Comedy Tour are below. 


Okay, so much for the niceties and polite posturing. It's time to break out one of the Big Gunz of Comedy on this matter. No holds barred with our main man shootin' it straight. 


So ... after all those other menfolks’ slant on things, Lulu’s take was still “out there” and highly unique, as sucked up, verbatim, right out of the book. He was able to sum it up in a simple  and short sentence. 

[BNB] “So, tell me,” I asked, “what’s it like being married 42 years to the same woman?”

No doubt herein lay some esoteric knowledge or a profound kernel of wisdom. I turned to face him and drink it all in. I was eager for a revelation about such a revered institution.

[Lulu] “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, you know,” he said, not skipping a beat, “same old hole …” and, shrugging his shoulders, “… same old hair.” He turned, half-smiled, and grunted, “Back to work, you
maudit anglais cocksucker!”

FYI, "maudit anglais" translated from French equates to "damn" or "bloody" and "English."

No matter how many weddings Bob went to thereafter, that encounter from a summer day back in 1983 was always on his mind in the background—something to make him think about shite. Occasionally, a few well-chosen words go a long way. Stuff runs deep.

You can make of all this whatever you want, but forewarned is forearmed, the omniscient "they" always like to say. 





Bob ain't being cynical about this topic. He's just looking at, processing, and spewing out, in unbiased fashion of course (just as the media does with the news), what other folks be saying about marriage after many years in the trenches with their significant other(s), as the case may be.

His ass has been lucky enough to hit a few weddings all over the world as some single guy, have a little fun along the way, and then observe what unfolds thereafter. And you can read about it all, plus  a whole lot more about what goes on out there in the world, in this book. 

 
 
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