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Subject: Barcelona #62 - Of cava, crowns, and craniums
(Posted on May 24, 2015 at 01:14PM ) Tags:
At an early May 2002 wedding in Catalonia, cava naturally featured on the drinks list right after the ceremony as the celebratory bubbles of choice.

With so many great regional selections, Bob was more than pleased to see the couple had picked Segura Viudas Reserva Heredad, not only because it’s a great one (one of his faves)  but also because the bottle has such a distinctive and regal look.



As a major bonus, the bottle is also heavy and very solid. Good for a few things it seems. As taken right from the chapter…

We washed it all down with flutes of Segura Viudas Reserva Heredad. Empty,
the distinctive green cava bottle with its pewter base could be repurposed as
a candle holder.

This hefty bottle could also come in handy for homebound hullabaloo: I
imaginated some chikita banana making a definitive debate-ending point
about sumpin’ or other by crowning her man’s cranium.
OK, maybe twice,
since some hubbies have a really hard head.

Bob reckons the metal base and its sharp edge would do a bang-up job, and provide extra strength against breakage if a woman really wanted to do her man in. Talk about perfect product placement at work here. One reckons the Segura Viudas folks would be more than proud to know their class product doubles down as the drink and instrument of choice (more than adequate for the task)  for settling domestic discontent that has reached a critical point. 

Ladies, best to celebrate the occasion and drink it all down first with your guy, before the devilish deed, so as not to risk wasting any of the beautful beverage. It will help settle the nerves, and take the edge off. Nothing like a little liquid courage to help things along. And a couple glasses might make it all hurt a little less on your guy's receiving end as well.

As with many things in life though, you gotta walk before you run. "Practice makes perfect," as the old adage goes. Start small, practicing on oneself, working one’s way up from beer bottles to wine bottles, just so it is all done right.  A few guiding technique tips to be gleaned below watching these folks with various degrees of expertise and knowledge making their attempts. Some get it, and some don’t.




With beer mastered, you work your way up to wine.


Bob's always generally amazed as to what a little alcohol intake combined with some spare time can result in—human creativity and ingenuity at its finest. The possibilities are almost endless if we really put our heads to it.

These are indeed the kind of pleasant thoughts, simple solutions and worldly insights running through Bob’s mind as he roams the world to far flung places attending weddings as some single guy. Cheers to your health (and to your head, for the fellas)!