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A couple weeks before Christmas 1996, Bob was sitting in a rather sturdy church in Santiago, Chile, and trying to distract and amuse himself with different musings and thoughts during a tedious, full-on Catholic wedding ceremony. One such thread was about his general attendance, or lack thereof, in houses of worship. 

That I needed such diversions at all reminded me why I limited my presence in
religious venues to begin with—weddings 
and funerals only. Call it WaFO. I wasn’t
even a part of the seasonal C+E crowd.
OK, maybe add the odd baptism or bar
mitzvah, 
or if there might ever be need to stave off hordes of zombies taking
over the world.

Many churches were solid enough for such a siege, but it would be paramount to
hole up in one with minimal windows 
high enough up to be inaccessible to marauding
fleshseekers. In Manhattan, the AT&T Long Lines Building was 
arguably much more
zombie-proof than most houses of worship. It also held the advantage of not being home
to a 
particular religion—unless of course spiritual suffusion itself provided protection.

Not being a regular attendee, Bob was thinking about the fortress-like state of many churches, and comparing to that other edifice mentioned above. And why not? That’s the way Bob’s brain ticks along. You never know when zombies might strike. Always good to be aware, if not prepared per se. 

Here's a frontal of the Iglesia de los Santos Ángeles Custodios from the wedding, followed by that NYC structure. 


Do zombies even really exist, apart from our fascination with them in movies and TV? Some say there is indeed a basis there, but that is for another discussion altogether. Do your own research and make your own determination.

Regarding picking a suitable spot to make a stand, the downside may well be that if they can’t get in, you may consequently not be able to get out either. It goes both ways. Long term survivability is tied to a host of other factors, once you start to think about it.  Depending on where one is, and how they are encountered, and with various means and tools haphazardly at one’s disposal, any reaction to them will vary, even if it’s Grandma, as seen in Scary Movie 4.


The lads in Shaun of the Dead make some exemplary use of old 12-inch vinyl LPs in an inspired creatve moment, in the midst of their off-the-cuff defense tactics.


Bob commends their musical choices, sacrificing some for the sake of others. Do-or-die situations call for tough decisions.

Another facet to consider, is whether the other side will be the more traditional, slow-moving ones, or the newer, more agile fast ones (a la 28 Days Later and 28 Weeks Later), and how you need to react.


No matter where you are, beyond being holed up somewhere (hopefully) safe and defendable, your ass will need lots of supplies (e.g., guns, ammo, food, water, and other weaponry) in order to keep up the good survival fight.

Here are two highlight reels of improvised, imaginative methods on dealing with and dispatching zombies, doubling down on a Top 10 list approach from some of the cinematic genre's finer splatterfest moments over the years.


Bob particulalry digs the chainsaw bride scene, at position #2 in the second reel, seeing as the damndest things can happen at a wedding, so best to keep ever alert. Here below is the English language trailer on that Spanish flick, [Rec]3: Génesis


Ladies, talk about being real pissed when your big day doesn’t go down the way you had it all perfectly planned. Survival (and marriage) is all about pivoting and adapting.


Now that’s spicing a wedding day up somewhat. And as with any good romance story, there is that mandated "Happily Ever After" (or HEA, per short label in the trade) for the couple … sorta …kinda, in a dark and different way. But hey, that’s the  way love and weddings shake out sometimes in the real world.

You could also plan your very own zombie-themed wedding, as some have done.


Note it’s  pure coink-e-dink this post came up in time for Halloween.



No matter if at a wedding, or anywhere else, the Zombie Apocalypse, or a smaller, localized, regional variant therein, may sneak up on your ass when you’re least expecting it. That’s why some single dude traveling the world for weddings is always open to the possibilities of stuff happening around him. And you can read all about it and much more in this offbeat, and unique novel. Bob's got you covered if you want something different to read.