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Two posts recently covered notable 'c' words in conversate and cocksucker. Bob won’t bother to explain coink-e-dink, since that’s pretty obvious and he throws that one around a lot.

We’ll complete our c-word trifecta instead with the grand daddy of them all, at least as covered in Bob’s debut novel. This particular word will no doubt agitate some, but hey, it is what it is, here in North A-merry-ka.


In different parts of the world, its meaning is not necessarily as harsh. A rather expansive Wikipedia entry on it can be found here.

The word makes a few appearances at a couple weddings in the book, but it was decided to aggregate them and file this blog post under the Miscellaneous category (together with a few posts on testicles), because, like … it fits. It’s Bob’s blog, and he can do what he wants with it.

It popped up twice in Tenerife #18.

“Right fuckin’ cunt you are,” retorted Roddy.

A little later on, the Spanish version made a short, sharp appearance at the hand of our groom’s wife-to-be. She was a bit exasperated with someone.

“¡Coño!”

Both uses above were further contextualized a little later in Mustique #47.

Some, though, might label me an outright cunt like Dudley’s straightforward
mate Roddy did in Tenerife, just like an American. The more suave and sophisticated
might offer up something akin to, “Yes, lovely.
C U Next Tuesday.”

Another nifty way to disguise the word was to sing it, spouge style, as in “Sixpence”
by The Escorts from back when I was just a little nipper.
For dem Bajans, you were,
as need be, a cun-tree girl or boy.


The Spanish coño was far superior to its English equivalent in my eyes. When
Guayarmina employed it—even with her exemplary fire and flair—at the close of her
fiancé’s bachelor night, it wasn’t crude, lewd, or rude. With the brittle final English
consonant gone plus a substituted
ñ, coño seemed somehow softer, and a more
appropriate alternative for everyday speech on both sides of the genital divide.


Bob digs the way them Bajan ladz subtly played with the words, using strategic pauses and gaps to get their desired verbal effect. That's the way things rolled in the Caribbean circa 1973 or so as regards explicit lyrics. 

Now, in Britain, home of proper English as some are wont to claim, the word doesn’t carry as much negatory gravitas as on this side of the pond, but it's still pretty bad. Here’s someone’s Grammie getting in on the action.


Here’s a related delightful ditty on it, featuring Steve Coogan, taken from The Trip (2010). This was apparently deleted out of the final cut for whatever reason. Go figure. 


Following is a TV compilation featuring a bunch of spontaneous “cunning linguists." Said group is NOT to be confused with two similar sounding sexual words connected to today’s topic. (i.e., concatenate the content in prior quotes and remove some letters for both possibilities). Aren't word games fun?!


Here’s a nice little primer on the word's etymology, presented with suave British sophistication to make it more palatable and polished.


Down Under (aka Oz-Trail-ya), it’s actually a term of endearment or affection reserved for your best mates. Apparently the same in Scotland too, as seen here. So there, put that in your pipe and smoke it.
 

Here’s a pair of homegrown Aussie sociology scholars with street cred expanding on this. Note the ever important beverage product placement for added authenticity. 


if you ever get caught out calling your mother-in-law that word, employ the intercultural Aussie defen(s/c)e maneuver, and your sorry ass is covered.


Or better still, switch language gears to Spanish. As quoted above, Bob deffo has a marked preference for this, as it just sounds so way, way better. Depending on the country of usage too, its meaning can vary widely, and can be more a general expression of frustration, joy, shock or anger, akin to the versatile F-bomb in Ingrisch. More on those Spanish meanings here.

Here's a little lingo instruction on this one. 


Now that we've thoroughly covered this, Bob promises to drop 'c' word coverage for now, behave a little better in mixed company, and move on to other experiences from his worldwide wedding travels.


Pretty much anything  can be discussed at a wedding, depending on where you are, and who you're with. It ain't all just make nice, polite cocktail-and-canapé chitchat. Now you're all set to conversate about cocksuckers and cunts, be it by coink-e-dink (on a Tuesday), or not.