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Subject: Hawaii #54 - Celebrity Cross-match
(Posted on Mar 29, 2014 at 03:02PM ) Tags:
Wade Roe laid out the rules pretty plainly for his favorite L.A. bar game, Celebrity Cross-match, in that chapter. Okay, maybe it's a little obvious he was named after Roe v. Wade, so that one wasn’t much of an Easter Egg after all, but it may have slipped by a few folks. 

As Wade saw it, the game was much more fun and challenging than a more typical, and boring, random celebrity spotting in and around L.A. This variant required a little more quick-on-your-feet thinking and some imagination. Per his decree in the book, any twofold hybrid worked that best fit a target’s description, be it a same-sex or male-female fusion. The odd triple-mix combination was rarely permitted, as were easy dead ringer solo shots, but they were not mainstay.

In this small way, everybody was a celebrity—and if everybody was a celebrity, then nobody was a celebrity.

Sounds simple enough, but let’s put theory into practice. Here are a few examples with characters taken from that very wedding chapter, as this easily distracted single guest’s mind was prone to wandering all over the place.

1) The bride that day, Ku’ene Penelope Makamae Pe Ts'ai Fook Chang Kaneaiakala, was Anne Hathaway meets Joan Chen.
Whaddup with her über–long name too?


2) Her Mom, Paula, was Imelda Marcos crossed with Ann B. Davis of The Brady Bunch TV series fame.



3) Dad, Eala, mashed up Gregory Peck with Herman Wedemeyer (Duke, on the original Hawaii Five-O series). Note for all you detail sticklers, the original series was named with the letter "O" in the title, and the current modern-day resurrection uses the number zero "0" for sly and subtle differentiation.




4) Wade Roe was a younger Christopher Lee meets Ben Affleck..



5) Best man Isaiah Washington was pegged as Morris Chestnut morphed with Ving Rhames.



6) And, saving the best for last, perhaps Wade’s sharpest shot ever, from one night long ago at James' Beach, in Venice, CA, was a Carrot Top (aka Scott Thompson) fused with Kenny G combinaton sighted across the room from where we were hanging out nursing cocktails along.



And, if you're bored or have a little idle time on your hands, you can morph and muck about on your own at MorphThing.com.

Every now and again, if it fits, some folks get by with a pure-play, solo shot, like Jock Finn doubling for Rob Schneider. And that’s the real deal.