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The close of this chapter set in 1994 features a brief exchange centered around bananas.

A global spat on banana distribution had erupted in late 1993 between the US and EU. This informative piece lays out the playing field nicely. On one side, you had your American-owned  Latin American companies pumping out larger-sized bananas, and on the other side, you had European-owned enterprises that operated in many former colonies of Africa, the Caribbean, and Pacific with smaller-sized bananas  As for taste and texture preferences and differences, it wasn't about that. At stake was importation into different global markets, and a tussle over tariffs and quotas.

It was all kind of like a “my banana be better (if not bigger) than your banana" battle. 


Maybe the Germans had the right attitude with "just let the consumer decide," but of course that would have been too easy and logical. As tall Dutchman Ruud de Cock presciently commented,

"If we can’t even fix bananas, how we can fix all the other serious matters in the world? The banana battle is only getting started, but will take years to solve. You’ll see."

Ruud knew the drill, and it only took like nearly 20 years to sort this shit out per here and a more detailed breakdown here.

German Karl Kurt Köttelwesch (aka K-Kube) dropped a pearl on all when he talked about the optimum method monkeys use to peel a banana, one which many humans are not aware of. This video shows it ain’t rocket science, Corky. Look and learn. If you really are fascinated by this then you can also check out this WikiHow covering the eight methods to peel one, and wow foe and friend alike with deep MacGyver-like insight. 


The US-EU spat t wasn’t the only banana battle it seems. The Velvet Underground had Andy Warhol’s famed banana design on the cover of their 1967 debut album with Nico. A lawsuit erupted in 2012 and took 18 months to settle per here and here. It was good to see that as the trade banana dispute was winding down, there was another banana themed dispute to take its place. Maybe that was by "design," pardon the pun. 


If setting bananas straight took so long, is anybody surprised we can’t resolve more complicated world matters like peace in the Middle Crease, pretending that climate change ain’t happening,  and increasing global inequality. Go figure. We’ll all be waiting a very long friggin’ time to deal with everything else.  Either that, or the powers that be steering the ship just want it that way. Cuz , like, when it’s "heads I win, tails you lose," they can play that game all day long and always come out ahead.

Perhaps it makes as much sense as this little ditty, as taken from Despicable Me 2, featuring The Minions, and their take on the Beach Boys song Barbara Ann.


For those with an ever-inquisitive mind and dying to know what language this is, here’s a link to some background on Minionese, and some more on the specific lyrics.

Then, there are these banana commercials, ranging from a 1940s classic through to ones from modern day Japan and Australia.


N.B. Somebody who penned a novel and utilized "chikita banana" as a reference for a woman (making his female editor’s skin crawl every time it came up) may have been inspired by this vintage ad.  Or maybe it was just pure coink-e-dink.



 

 

The fellas also gotta like these topical banana-based words of wisdom. So true, but it kinda makes me wonder about what the preceding 391 rules are. 

                                          Source: QuickLol

Chikita bananas, on the other hand, can get away with THAT all day long, and the world comes to a stop.


Get your mind out of the gutter. It’s all about the fruit, Bobbolin(o/a), and proper technique. Truth be told, most guys will not  be bothering to correct them on their peeling technique as Karl Kurt pointed out above. As the Pink Floyd Dole ad above declared, "if you feel it, peel it." Bob sure digs the double entendre going on with that tagline.

After all of the above. know that bananas be bidni$$ too, and now that the trade tiff  has been settled, consolidation is in the air, as evidenced here by the attempted acquisition action going down between Chiquita, Fyffes and some Brazilians in Cutrale and the Safra Group wading into the fray of late. Maybe the Brazzies are pissed cuz of their showing at the World Cup. In the end, they may all still figure out a way to get cozy together and mix $$$ with bananas and oranges. 


Bob be diggin’ deep, to bring you the skinny on matters of consequence in our world, when he ain’t busy as some single prat traveling the world attending weddings.