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Subject: Hawaii #54 - When lads look for lingerie
(Posted on Sep 21, 2014 at 10:28PM ) Tags:
So you’re out shopping to get your gal some fine underwear or lingerie, and what to do and how to go about it all? If you’ve never gone down that road before, don't despair. It’s really not all that complicated or intimidating.

First, you just better know her size, up top, and down below. That’s VERY important. Some referenced pieces below suggest a strategy there if you need some help. Next, we'll deal with the two basic building blocks for most situations. 

There are many types of bras for up top, and here's a basic array of the styles out there to choose from.
Then for the panties down below, you also want to know the general cut and style preferred, as explained here in words, and seen below. Looking at this matrix from top to bottom, I hear some guys going "Meh…" on Row 1, "Getting a little more interesting” on Row 2, and “Now we talkin'!on Row 3.
Here’s a little video advice to get started, as espoused by a few of the ladies. 



Here are two better, more detailed and helpful written pieces on getting started in this whole area, here and here. There’s generally a ton of information and guidance out there if you want to dig some more.

But the real golden nugget of knowledge here lies with what all of the above or anyone else AIN’T gonna tell you.

That’s where Bob dishes it out to Jock Finn, late at night at a fancy Hawaiian reception, after the lads have some underwear on the brain, as it were. It will deffo win a guy a major future hall pass and/or brownie points from the lady in his life. Unless, like, uhm, he got several on the go. But hey, that angle be for another time, and another chapter in the book, with other characters and discussions. For each and every one he does buy lingerie for though, this tip still applies.

As Bobby Bo discussed with Jock Finn, one important secret sisterhood tip the ladies ain’t usually sharing on lingerie purchasing is this below. As a guy, you need to know. This is deep insight destined for application in the trenches of mandom.

[BNB] “When you’re buying lingerie for your honey, buy a double set of
matching lowers to go with every bra up top.”

[JF] “Why?”

[BNB] “On account of they can wear the top a few times no problem, but
down below, being a bit more squishy squashy and all, they tend to change
the bottoms out more frequently. With two bottoms, the overall set lasts
longer between laundering than with just the one.”


[JF] “You know, that is a good one. As a guy, damned if I’d ever think of that
myself.”

That’s a top tip if ever for the guys out there when it comes to buying this stuff, but may on occasion need to be tempered with the actual retail experience. 

[BNB] "The only practical issue I’ve encountered on occasion is with the salesgirl
in the store; 
sometimes you need to wrassle for that second pair of bottoms. They
tend to not like 
breaking up matching sets and being stuck with a bunch of extra
tops …. 
One way around it—buy a thong, a full-seat jobbie, or a cheeky, along with
the bra. 
It seems to be far less of an issue. But then your honey has to be into those
as opposed 
to just the thong."
 
There's quite a bit more to their actual exchange in the chapter. Bring Bob a problem, and he brings your ass (or her's, perspective dependent) a solution. He ain’t just some single guy hitting weddings around the world. There be a ton of deeper matters delved into about how our big bad world out there works in the shadows. You ain’t gonna be seeing this stuff on TV, learning it in school, or even dropped in some women’s advice column either.

One of your bigger decisions in this purchase process is how much "jingle jangle from Juan’s bol$illo" you want to be  plunking out here, cuz, like, you can drop a lotta dinero on this stuff, depending on your budget, taste, and lust factor at play in the moment, stage or state of the relationship.

And like with anything you do in life, including buying your gal some lingerie, there's a need to pay a little attention to detail, yet not lose focus of the big picture and surroundings, as this fine European ad demonstrates.


Further, when you’re that dude venturing into a lingerie shop somewhere, stay sharp as well, lest you get taken advantage of by some casual chikita banana shopper or salesgirl looking to have some fun at your expense. D'oh, Homer!


Last, this compilation can also be used for even more ideas and style inspiration on the matter if one needs to dig even deeper. 


Now, for the other side of the coin, what about the fellas and their underwear selection stuff? Quick like a bunny, it’s way simpler, as main man rapper MF Doom throws out here on his "Space Ho's" collaboration with Danger Mouse, where they are collectively known as Danger Doom


Note the strategic silence in the lyric line above is paying a bit of homage to Notorious B.I.G. in "Unbelievable," where he raps, ”Wear boxers so my dick can breathe.”

So, ladies, between MF Doom and Biggie, with a little help from Judy Jetson, all y’all got your answer on shopping for your guy down below. Maybe, sorta, kinda ... sometimes.


But you may otherwise find the book way more insightful and entertaining, especially as it comes to some guy's global observations and spin on weddings, marriage, and relationships.