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Subject: Mustique #47 - Deconstructing that preposterous 'p' perversion
(Posted on Nov 15, 2014 at 01:52PM ) Tags:
You’re on vacation on a luxe tropical island, and it’s midmorning on your sister’s wedding day when one of your British cohort offers up a local St. Vincent Hairoun lager to get the day going after breakfast. 


Hey, it’s always night time somewhere, and that’s the way this lot rolled, especially Paine “Pongo” Lytton-Renworth. So you just go with the flow.

[PPLR] “In your case, this should act as prescient parallel post-party palliative and preemptive pre-party potation.”

[BNB] “That’s a plethora of p-p-ps, Pongo. Ten. Well done.”

[PPLR] “I take pains to perform and please.”

[BNB] “But not as many as in, say, uhm, uhhh…Peter Pocklington picked a peck of pickled Popocatapetl peppers with a passel of partisan professional paella peddlers from Pontevedra province peripheral to Portugal.”

[PPLR] “Good heavens. What preposterous p profligacy.”

So just what was Bob's crazy-ass parade of 'p' words all about? The basic building block is that classic tongue twister about Peter Piper, which is included in the Mother Goose collection of rhymes.


Of course Bob, being the eccentric and twisted character he is, had to go jazz that up a bit for adults and take it one step further. So let's look at those elements one at a time. 

First, about that Peter Pocklington cat (we'll abbreviate him as PePo) … if you ain’t a certain age and don’t hail from Canuckistan, you are likely not going to know of our man who used to own the Edmonton Oilers ice hockey team from 1976 to 1998.  


For those not in the sports know, that type of hockey is kinda different from that other hockey some folks play with a curvy stick on grass or artificial turf. Per below, you decide which one is better; not that Bob has any personal preference or bias at all. It's kinda just like how the mainstream media reports the news. 




Now, back to PePo, who was perhaps most (in)famous for signing Wayne Gretzky to the team in 1978 and then later trading his ass to Los Angeles in 1988. Hey, shit happens in pro sports, and that’s the way the ball bounces or puck passes. It’s about da bidni$$, Bobbolin(o/a), and maximizing value on a “depreciating asset.” Get over it.  Local folks in Edmonton at the time of the trade wuz real pissed though.


They sometimes also used to call our PePo guy Peter Puck (and Peter Puke for a bit post trade), but he sure as shit wasn’t the original NHL Peter Puck that Bob remembers as a kid.

Note that in those good old daze, folks playing the game mostly didn’t wear helmets either, and they only became mandatory in 1979. Back in that period, even wearing car seatbelts wasn’t yet legislated either.

Popocatapetl? That’s the active Mexican volcano, most properly spelled with the accent included as Popocatépetl, for those that need to be (anally) accurate.


This video below from 2013 shows a UFO ducking down into the active volcano. Perhaps they were looking for our guy PePo and them pepper pickers cum paella peddlers.


Passel is just some fancypants word for pack, as in a large group of an indeterminate number of people. How big? Who knows … and who cares really. It was all about the 'p' sound stuff anyway at the time. Maybe that and Bob wanting to mess with Pongo's head a bit.

Then we had the bit about the paella, that famous Spanish dish with a long history, and some folks who were selling the stuff in a certain part of Spain. Yo, check out these big-ass paella pans being used. 



 
Pontevedra is both a Spanish city and a province. It’s the province that touches Portugual per this map below.


Note that Pontevedra makes way more sense in the whole tongue twister equation, than, erhm, say other provincial places in the world like Perugia or Pampanga. Hey, it’s entirely plausible that if you wanted special peppers to put in your paella, be they pickled or not, you would do as these folks did, even if you had to go a very long way away to get them, and then bring them back to Spain for the preparation and subsequent peddling in province.

And as for our guy PePo being there at the volcano, maybe he was still in hiding after the whole Gretzy trade debacle and his other follow-on business activities that may not have worked out exactly the way he intended.

Bob always strives to bring you things of consequence in our world, even if he's just some single stumblebum attending weddings around the world, and randomly spewing stuff out on the fly. Bob's take on Peter Piper still isn't as good as the Run-D.M.C. rap take on it and other nursery rhymes from 1986.